Tom drives back in time when he visits the grand old architecture of Richmond and Charleston. Then he’s back to the present when he stays at a DC hotel called the Sslamander. Scott’s intrepid research reveals that most salamanders look like a cross between a lizard and a frog. Which explains why a hotel would want to be named after them.

Tom worries that he will be chastised for “double bucket listing”, but Scott assures him, in his role as a “podcast only” lawyer, that since bucket law is nonexistent, there are no grounds for him to suffer any consequences for his bucket list wish of traveling from chilly temperatures to a balmy climate in Charleston, after already doing so in Savannah.

Now that Scott is going to bed and waking up early, does that make him 50 percent qualified to be a farmer? Tom is also an early riser these days but fears he won’t be effective feeding slop to the pigs.

Tom proposes another in our long line of inventions- this time it’s inflatable pants. Should he invest all of his assets into this idea even though no prototype exists? One thing we know for certain, on a different front, is that eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches make you feel and appear younger, which is why Scott suggests a Biden commercial showing him enjoying a PB&J with Jill.

Tom takes Scott and Ginger to dinner at the famed steakhouse Peter Luger, and it’s a dream come true for a kid from Brooklyn who had never before eaten there. Even the space age technology of the “doggie bag” was impressive, especially since Tom and Scott didn’t get into a tugging match that spilled over into the entire restaurant, with the patrons on their hands and knees vying for the precious scraps of steak that fell out of the bag during their tussle, which thankfully did not happen.

Thanks to a crumbling retaining wall at Tom’s house, Scott learns the difference between cement and concrete, and vows to share his newfound knowledge with the free world.

A trip to Kaaterskill Falls in the Catskills used to require traveling by a horse drawn carriage offering a bumpy, unpleasant ride. Now Tom zips up the Palisades Parkway in padded luxury in just 2.5 hours. Why isn’t this travel breakthrough on the front pages of every major metropolitan newspaper?

Our kind of town Chicago is, as Scott sings its praises from his visit earlier this week. Our theme is once again “time”, as Scott devises a plan to not lose an hour sleep when we set the clocks ahead. Tom tells the story of his first elevator ride ever, at Marshall Field, which we hope to rescue from the clutches of Macy’s and return to the city and its people. For that, we would happily accept two keys to the city, but in key card format or on the phone app.

Why do pundits refer to what a President says in the State of the Union speech as a “laundry list”, which is something that doesn’t exist. Plus, we would like to see a State of the Union where a couple addresses Congress about the state of their relationship, a different kind of Union, with a rebuttal after the speech by the other partner. And Scott would love to be the opening act for the speech, which he imagines would elicit hearty laughter and back slaps from both sides of the aisle.

We won’t ask you to answer a brief survey after you listen to this episode. We imagine a dystopian future where the typical survey for your Amtrak ride forces you to compose a 5,000 word answer that details your every thought as you stare out the window from Penn Station to 30th Street Station in Philadelphia.