Tommy is on Day 3 of his epic road trip and he regales Scott with his on the road experiences, live from Eugene, Oregon. Plus, why DWE(Driving While Eating is legal, and may be praised when a cop pulls you over. And we hope those same policemen will use their loudspeaker to praise Tommy for observing the speed limit.

We’d like to see more government mandates, like Dressed to the Nines Saturday, when formal wear produced by our finest manufacturers will be provided to every American. Which would fit in perfectly with our vision of “Resortism”, where everyone works two weeks a year, and spends the rest of their time in government paid all inclusive luxury resorts.

As we begin to travel again, our focus is on earning miles and points in airline and hotel loyalty programs. But what we also need is a National Points System, a WPA-like way to earn points for worthy everyday activities as well as for bad things that you don’t do.

Tommy’s leisurely road trip through several cities from LA to NYC, is now a race against time as he must get to his niece’s graduation from Boise High School on May 27. Scott’s breakthrough travel planning prepares Tommy for various scenarios that can be turned into a major motion picture.

The best way for us to feel optimistic about the future is to have uplifting voiceover announcers speaking in the stentorian tones and cadence of a 1950’s travelogue. Plus, now that anyone can get a license to marry people, let’s do the same for bestowing doctorates.

Broadway is coming back and will be better than ever, even with its comically uncomfortable seating. But at least we don’t have to stand as they did in the days of the Old Globe Theatre. And let’s bring back the live entertainment from decades ago too, like vaudeville, supper clubs and burlesque.

Tommy prepares for his cross country journey, by borrowing a page from Kerouac’s On The Road. Fortunately it’s his own paperback copy, so no library fines will be assessed.

Dirt is fertile ground for a celebration of this unappreciated force of nature. Most people scorn dirt and criticize you for tracking it into the house. We exalt the many positive uses of dirt, and think that dirt shouldn’t be considered a dirty word.

We don’t regret jumping at the chance to get vaccinated as soon as we could. But perhaps, we early adopters can also receive the rewards and perks that the vaccine laggards are being offered.

We introduce the philosophy of “Resortism”, where every man, woman and child, regardless of income, is guaranteed 50 weeks a year at an all expenses paid, all inclusive luxury resort