In normal times, a trip to Gelson’’s Supermarket and CVS can be a meandering and relaxing experience. But as Tom tells us in gripping detail, much like a Hitchcock film, it can sometimes feel like playing Russian Roulette, with no offense intended to actual Russians.

It’s Sunday in New York(and LA), but because of exorbitant royalty fees, Scott and Tom can’t sing the soundtrack to the 1963 film of the same name. But we can hold on to our Sunday traditions and rituals, like luxuriating(or wallowing) in a pile of the New York Times, and ordering delivery of bagels, cream cheese and lox. And watching the Sunday news shows to see Mike Pence avoid answering any questions.

Tom and Scott aren’t doctors, and they don’t play them on television. But we’re way more credible than the disgraced one name doctors, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew, who have made ignorant and dangerous comments about the pandemic.

Tom and Scott aren’t wearing face masks, because they’re at home, and the CDC doesn’t require them while recording podcasts. But where can they find them online? And no, it’s not easy to make your own. Plus, how we can help Biden win in November.

As more states require us to wear masks, do you have to be a surgeon to know how to put them on and take them off properly? And now that retired doctors and nurses are being asked to return to work, let’s bring back talk show hosts who comforted us after 9-11, like Jon Stewart.

Tom reports from the frontline, Gelson’s Supermarket, where he only shops in the least crowded aisles. And Scott proposes stay at home regulations require people to wear work clothes during the week, except for high school football coaches who can continue to don baggy sweatpants.

Obama endorses Biden after giving it a great deal of thought. Trump claims the Governors regional cooperation is mutiny and he’s Captain Bligh.  And we shout out to listeners a thousand years from now.

Domino’s Pizza algorithms know so much about us, just based on our toppings. And that’s the kind of invasion of privacy we love, because ordering comfort food is so, well, comforting, especially when Trump hints he might want to fire Fauci.

On Easter Sunday, we cling to the hope that on an empty Fifth Avenue and great boulevards throughout America, less than ten folks promenade while keeping social distance, clad in their fancy hats and stylish masks.  Watching 1970’s shows like The Midnight Special beats the pandemic blues.   And how did people pass the time hunkered down during the 1918 Spanish Flu?

Governors are the biggest stars right now, so we give credit to the good ones, and propose an awards show for the worst governors for a pandemic. And will the daily reality show of the Task Force briefings explode like a Real Housewives episode, with Fauci and Birx angrily knocking over the podium?