GIRLBLOGGER: THE PODCAST

The VMAs happened! Apparently, Madonna had a laser shoved up her ass and she had to let us all know. Also, Taylor Swift may or may not have invented an award just to ensure she could break her VMA tie with Beyoncé. B!tch. After that, BREAKING NEWS: Gypsy-Rose Blanchard might be involved in another murder?! THE SECOND TOWER HAS BEEN HIT! Next, I discuss the disturbing case of the Cornell 7 and my strong belief that greek life should be dismantled at universities. Then I discuss the new documentary on Hulu all about The Swan (2004-2005) and how it's not quite as salacious as we all hoped. Also, did you know Alix Earle has never read a book? I shame her for it. Lastly, I discuss the new film, Primetime (2026) and my new obsession with Robert Pattinson! Listen now <3

WTF?! Taylor Swift has no left armpit and she's pointing at a puddle on the floor?!?!? These are the two images she chose to promote her new song about Covid. After I complain about Taylor's recent artistic releases, I get into the most anticipated documentary of the year (decade?), You Can See Everything (2026). Is Elizabeth Holmes the most powerful liar girl of all time?! Next, I get into Channing Tatum's recently discovered burner account on Instagram. Do we believe that the mastermind behind @bidness_nonya could be anyone other than Chan? The jury is still out. Then I discuss another important documentary coming out that is all about the early oughts reality show, The Swan (2004-2005). You remember, right? The show where they turned ugly chicks into sexy ladies! Apparently, some of the contestants found the experience traumatic?! Shocker! Lastly, I discuss my fondness for Troye Sivan and his new music video for "Party". He performs analingus in the video!!! Listen now <3

Mother is mothering!!! Yes, not one, but TWO mothers to the gay community have become mothers themselves! Both Lady Gaga and Lena Dunham have welcomed children to planet E. Yay, mamas! After I congratulate them and comment on my personal disdain for children, I then of course have to talk about yet another icon's passing. We unfortunately lost Bob Mackie. He was the ultimate costume designer whom invented the word "iconic" with his artistry. Sad!!! Next up, I discuss the Emmys - or more so, the mind-bending ensemble that Shailene Woodley wore to the Emmys... WOAH. After that, I talk about why Practical Magic 2 (2026) wasn't a good movie, but I make sure to clarify that it is not NEARLY as bad as The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026). Thank god! Then I declare that everyone should be aware that Rebecca Black is BACK, baby. Her new single "Hot Wet Delirious" is all I listen to now. Lastly, I give my hot take on Sydney Sweeney's new "sports" ad. Will this girl ever put her tits away? Listen now! <3

Guess what?! More death. Yes, sadly this week we lost the feminist icon, Gloria Steinem. Believe it or not, she did WAY MORE than have a guest appearance on season 2, episode 4 of And Just Like That... As Che Diaz would say, she was always "stepping her pu$$y up". After that, I get to talking about the scandalous cancellation of John Galliano's Met museum exhibit. Will this man ever be able to redeem himself?! It appears not. However, he will always have a legacy of great gowns... beautiful gowns. Next, I talk about everyone's latest true crime obsession, Lindsay Clancy. This woman's life story is even worse than the story of Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire! Also, the verdict of her case is yet to be unanimously decided. To lighten the mood, I then switch topics and talk about Miley Cyrus's new music video. She looks very good! Lastly, I talk about the new, unsettling film Buddy (2026) which brings any nightmares you had about Barney the dinosaur to life in horrifying detail. Listen now! <3

It's a sick, cruel, and unfair world... Dolly Parton has died. I spend a large portion of this episode paying my respects to the blonde, busty artist that she was, while also sharing all of her greatest and most generous accomplishments. Oh, but guess what?! More people died! I also discuss the loss of the beloved actor, Tim Curry. Be sure to pour SEVERAL drinks out for these cultural icons. Next, I switch things up by discussing how Addison Rae might in fact be God based on her recent Instagram caption. After that, I touch on AnnaLynne McCord's wedding and how she and her husband LITERALLY encouraged people to fund the ceremony through a website called "Honeyfund". How sick! Listen now <3

Hi! My name is Chanty Beluga! Did you know Gwyneth Paltrow is throwing a dinner in my honor at her Hamptons home? L-O-L ... Before I get into the lore of the new internet star named *Chanty Beluga*, we first must pay our respects to the late and great, Hayden Panettiere. Hayden is unfortunately one of several great child stars that has recently left us way too soon. After I share all of the details and theories surrounding Hayden's death, I get into the new vocal stim that is sweeping the nation... Chanty Beluga. Sometimes the world's greatest stars are just the kooky-named girl next door. Next, I talk about Lindsay Lohan's new beauty/skincare line while reminiscing about her past self-tanner, Sevin Nyne. Was I the only person that loved that sh!t? Also, I cant help but mention Kaia Gerber's recent story she shared about an exorcism being performed on her with a didgeridoo as a child. DA F**K?! In fashion news, Chanel ambassador Margaret Qualley recently wore the brand's dumbest pair of "shoes" ever. Google it. Lastly, I discuss the newest Practical Magic 2 (2026) trailer and how it gave me hope that the film would not be a complete train wreck. Listen now! <3

Oh no! Another Disney adult has taken their fanfic too far and practically assaulted the poor twink portraying Peter Pan at Disneyland last week! I kick off this episode by giving everyone the scoop on @babytoni99 and her disturbing fondness for waifish lost boys that live in Neverland. After that, I spill the tea on the urgent matters surrounding the potential Barbie sequel, and what I believe should happen if there's a follow up film. Barbie should have s€x! Next up, Brad Pitt is drinking again after seven years of sobriety and I support this. Would love to party with him now that he's back on the sauce! Then I dive into the new film, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026), and explain that while I love the movie, I may be annoyed with the film's director. Lastly, I go off about how boring and uninspired the latest Vogue cover is. I mean Kaia Gerber is hot, but wtf is this sh!t?! Listen now <3

James Haven is gay! "Who is that", you ask? Why, he's the brother of Angelina Jolie, who mouth kissed her on the red carpet back in 2000 at The Oscars. After congratulating James on his homosexuality, I then dive into the vary harrowing topic of Perez Hilton's gruesome mental breakdown on TikTok live. This might be the spookiest public meltdown of all time, so we wish that both Perez and his family can heal from this travesty. On a lighter note, Tate McRae made quite the deceptive sponcon video the other day. DID THE MAKEUP WIPE EVEN TOUCH HER FACE?! Next, I finally get to discussing not only Ariana Grande's new album, Petal, but also the public discourse surrounding her skinny body. We are rooting for you, Ari! Then I move on to talking about my new favorite Gregg Araki film, I Want Your Sex (2026). I suddenly want to have a dom/sub relationship with my kinky artist employer! Lastly, you get to hear my hot take on the announcement that the 2027 Met Gala theme will center around John Galliano. Listen now <3

I'm still complaining about Taylor Swift's wedding!!! Well, mainly just comparing it to Emma Roberts' recent wedding to Cody John, and how this type of soiree is the chic event Taylor SHOULD have thrown. I digress... After that, I touch on the recent trend of celebrity kids dropping their father's last names. In the case of Suri Noelle (née Cruise), I understand because I too would not want to have any association to the church of scientology! Next up, I discuss The Invite (2026) and how straight people might actually be just as slutty as gay people. Do you know any heteros that are members of "the lifestyle"? Then I touch on my fondness for Charli XCX's new Album, Music Fashion Film, and how David Lynch should have been on the album cover (may he RIP). Lastly, I tell everyone to go watch the new white woman/wine show called The 5-Star Weekend on Peacock. It kinda sucks but it reminds me of home! Listen now <3

The Odyssey sucked!!!!!!!!!!!! I start out this episode by apologizing for missing last week due my trip to NYC. I saw Oh Mary! and it was f**king incredible. There was a slight hiccup though... Meg Stalter almost didn't perform due to bronchitis! Thank god our girl pulled through. After that, I make sure to address that Lindsey Graham died and how the internet treated the death like a comedy bit. He was gayer than a Care Bear! Next, I talk about my new hero, Robin Byrd, and her hot, new documentary, Bang My Box (2026) on HBO. This woman was a regular Elizabeth Taylor when it came to gay advocacy! Then I have no choice but to talk about my bleak experience in watching The Odyssey (2026). I feel like everyone is lying to themselves... did y'all really understand what the f**k was going on in this movie?! Lastly, I touch on the final installment of Jackass - Jackass: Best and Last. While this movie is definitely the weakest of the franchise, at least you get to see Chris Pontius's dick. Listen now! <3