This episode holds some of the deepest truths I’ve ever shared, so please take this as a trigger warning for SA and suicide.

Growing up in Utah and being raised in the LDS religion gave me a lot of values to wrestle with as I shaped my own worldview. One of the major values I held close to me, even as I left the church, was my desire to wait until marriage.

But, that wasn't how things ended up. And the experience that changed that for me left me with HSV and a whole lot of shame & fear.

Today we're talking about that experience, and everything it led to. The heartbreak, the wakeup call, the move across the country, and the slow journey of building a life of my own.

It's been 3 years of living on my own and next week... I'm coming home.

This time, I get to do things on my own terms.

I feel at peace with the woman I have carved out of the life I've lived so far.

I've chosen again to wait until marriage. This choice isn't out of fear or "virtue", but out of self respect. Out of love for my younger self, and a deep protection for the woman I'm still becoming.

Utah brought me some of the most painful and traumatic experiences I've ever faced. But time and space gave me the gift of remembering who I am & that I was never broken to begin with.

I'm ready to face the home where it all started. To repair what I can, release what I can't, and to do it all grounded in the beliefs I've found for myself, not the ones I was taught.

This episode my relationship with God, with sex, with home, and my parents .

If you see any part of yourself in my story, I hope you remember this: no matter where you are, there is always healing to be found,

Love you sis,

xoxo, Bethany

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