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"Be curious, not judgmental." - Ted Lasso

I heard this quote on Ted Lasso. As we have all experienced, we feel so much freedom and comfort when people are curious about us rather than judgmental. Because when we are looking for reasons to love & accept each other, we find them.

& when someone sees us as lovable, it goes a long way in helping us believe that maybe we are. So, it makes a heck of a lot of sense that being curious towards others makes our lives and the lives of those around us so much better. It’s life-altering advice for our relationships with our lovers, our haters, and everything in between.

Today, I realized that “be curious, not judgmental” isn’t just life-altering advice for how we view others. It’s even more life-altering when we apply it to ourselves — our bodies, our actions, & our feelings. I get caught in the frustration of not living up to my own expectations in my actions, achievements, & appearance sometimes. 

But beating myself up has never once helped me achieve more. It just stops me right where I am, too busy glaring at myself to move forward. Which makes it impossible to connect with anyone else. Sometimes, I get so busy looking for what is ugly about myself, what others must hate about me when they see it, that I can’t see anyone or anything else. And I don’t think I’m the only one.

The comfort and freedom that comes with being curious about myself instead of judgmental is the fiercest fuel on the fire of growth I’ve found yet.

Like Mr. Rogers said, “When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the façade, and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.”

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Pastor Dave's Instagram: instagram.com/pastordavehaney

His church's Website: Hobokenefc.org

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DM me on instagram, babe! https://www.instagram.com/themorganburch/

Right after college, I remember reading an Alan Watts quote in which he said something like “the purpose of life is so simple, it is just to be alive.”

I remember thinking he was wrong. I remember thinking, “But I am alive, and that does not feel like enough. My life feels sad and dark and empty and boring, even when it supposed to feel exciting. Surely, there is more to life than just being alive.”

I spent so many years trying to find my Passion with a capital P.

I was desperate to find the thing that would make me feel the way fighting makes Conor McGregor feel or the way writing makes JK Rowling feel.

What I discovered instead was the truth that things we are passionate about, as wonderful as they are, are merely sparkling conduits to our deepest feelings of aliveness.

I don’t know if this is what Alan Watts meant, but I have found that the purpose of my life is to feel alive, which sounds simple. But it is a terrifying undertaking because it requires almost constant discomfort. But the alternative is so much worse. As Paulo Cohelo said “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine - it’s lethal.”

Maybe you read “feeling alive” as partying and drinking or chasing instant gratification or living as a beach bum. But those things usually don’t make me feel alive. They make me feel like I am avoiding life.

When I feel sad, dull, and lifeless, I have to go out and be desperate for life itself. I don’t dream of being a billionaire or a mother or a CEO. Having those titles never gave anyone joy. The life woven in the pursuit of doing them well did.

Which is why I have no mountain top I’m desperate to reach. I have mountains I’m excited to climb.

I am desperate to be shaken back to child-like wonder as often as possible, to grow ceaselessly, to be radically honest, to learn, to bare my soul, to see your soul bared too, to feel, to explore, to risk being judged, to dance with danger, to fall and get back up again, to try and fail and try again, and most of all, to love. I don’t mean romance. I mean the space where I have found all of life be— in that vulnerable messy tangle between two people, between you and me.

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Eric's Instagram: https://instagram.com/emariasis29

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Richardjordancasting.com

DM him on Instagram @richardjordancreative for acting/director coaching

Richard Mark Jordan on IMDB

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NOTES APP POETS INSTAGRAM: //www.instagram.com/notesapppoets/

WEBSITE/MERCH: https://www.notesapppoets.com/

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I've had this conversation with a lot of people, and all I can say is that this is what works for me. And if your heart is breaking, I hope it breaks open.

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Updating’s Instagram (The Hilarious Live Show) — https://www.instagram.com/updatingshow/

Updating’s TikTok — https://www.tiktok.com/@updatingshow?lang=en

Harrison Forman’s Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/htforman/

Tickets to the Show — https://www.updatingshow.com/tickets/

Casting for the Show — https://www.updatingshow.com/casting

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I make this stuff to connect with people so please follow/dm/subscribe wherever you prefer.

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