Goodbye to All This

He’s still here all the time. Yet he’s not. And a diary has more in it than expected.

“She hates me going into her room”. A pink, strappy, high-heeled shoe causes a big row. The girls are growing up – fast. And now Sophie is crying over a shoe.

The washing machine breaks. The bills are mounting. Sophie almost electrocutes herself. And just as it couldn’t get any worse, it’s raining and there’s nowhere for the delivery men to park. Now she is going to be late for her appointment.

“You’ll never find anyone if you’re not online.” Sophie is ready to start dating again but finds it’s done differently now. She meets a man who likes her shoes.

“Mama, I can’t get to you!” There’s unexpected danger on a holiday, when the family is swept out to sea in Byron Bay, Australia.

“His death is nothing like the worst thing. The worst thing is now.” Sophie is struggling after Russell’s death. Everyone is trying to help, but is saying the wrong thing – except one person, who knows what it’s like because his wife has died.

Love, flashes of anger and remembering funny things. It's the first time Sophie has nothing to do except sit since her husband died. And she looks like Jackie Kennedy at JFK’s funeral.

“He was covered in flowers and looked so peaceful.” The children put them in his hair and all around him. They stroked his head and kissed him.

“I’m sorry it’s not better news.” A hospital appointment feels like a polite break-up. Sophie and Russell are told nothing more can be done.

“Hold on, we think. Hold on.” A photo and a moment captured, trying to cling on, before it all begins. The cancer treatment starts and everyone wants to help.