When it comes to our family, sometimes forgiveness can actually seem harder than with a complete stranger.  And yet, it’s not the stranger we have regret over later in life in terms of lost relationships.  Most of our family relationships we never chose, and yet they seem to define us more than others.  How big of a role does forgiveness play in the health of these “related” relationships?

Sometimes forgiveness can be elusive, because all of the elements for healthy forgiveness aren't in place: a clear understanding of the offense; a thoughtful apology; and a desire to reconcile. Sometimes we have trouble identifying whether an offense is perpetual or solvable. Other times we might wonder how many times we have to forgive someone before they reach their forgiveness limit. Is there such a thing as making forgiveness too easy? How can Jesus guide us through this important task?

Sometimes we feel like we don’t want to apologize. Maybe we feel like we haven’t done anything wrong, or that it’s not worth the effort, or that it was the other person’s fault. Maybe we’re used to shifting guilt or blame, or we’ve become insensitive over time, or believe that they wouldn’t accept it anyway. What’s the long-term effects of not apologizing? What does it do to us, or them, or God?

Define forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Compare justice to reconciliation. Forgiveness is a 2-person transaction enabled by apology. Nothing in scripture indicates that God forgiveness without confession. When we apologize, we start the process of healing. Even if our apology is not accepted, we can leave the offer to reconcile on the table, and in the other person's court.

Your spouse is your partner, not your permission-giver & denier. It’s time to redefine the “ball & chain”, “boss” and other hurtful phrases to rediscover the excitement of exclusivity.

The space between you & your partner is dynamic, meaning it’s forever changing. Whether events or circumstances are changing or the person you’re married to is changing, it’s inevitable that these changes will affect the space between you. Let's talk about learning to navigate this dynamic space and our willingness to be influenced by it.

In marriage, everything you do and everything you are affects the energy between you & your partner. It deeply matters what you say, what you do and how you think about this other person­—it matters how you think about yourself. All of it good and bad shapes the flow between you. To keep this energy full of life & vitality, you intentionally act for their well-being. This responsive movement is the foundation to your relationship. You’re looking out for their best, while they’re looking out for yours.

We're constantly told what we can't do. Our culture tries to market to our felt inadequacies or lack of ability. Think about some inadequacies that men and women as a whole gender sometimes feel. Our biggest fear is not that we're inadequate, but that we're powerful beyond measure.

Feeling unloved may stem from the fact that we experience love as conditional - we have to earn it, we can lose it, and we get worried from time to time that we may not keep receiving it. God's love is different - there are no conditions present. This can be hard to comprehend or even believe.

The world goes to extreme lengths to prey on one of our deepest insecurities—the way we look. As a culture, we constantly chase images that border on the unattainable. What does it look like to put our stock in what God thinks of us, in addition to or as opposed to our own self-image?

Sermon 1 of 3 in the worship series "Lies".