Gospel Matrescence

Continuing with our focus on becoming a non-anxious presence in our home, today we look at six ways mamas tend to expect others to manage their own anxiety.  Displacing and projecting our anxious responses onto those we love can cause great harm to a relationship.  There are ways we can identify these destructive tendencies and repair the harm we have caused.  Let's work on becoming a non-anxious presence in our homes together!  

Here at Gospel Matrescence, we often use the term 'a non-anxious presence,' but what does that really mean?  What does a non-anxious mama look like and how does that impact the family atmosphere?  

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the same sinful responses that you give to your children or husband?  Can you imagine a clear picture of who you want to be but often feel powerless to get there?  Listen as Andie shares how the 12 spiritual disciplines form a path to spiritual growth and victory in our lives as mamas and wives.  In this episode, she shares specific lessons from the book of Nehemiah that show us how we can use the discipline of feasting and celebration to pull us out of a sin cycle and reorient our hearts towards God's goodness.  She leaves you will a challenge to plan a celebratory feast for your husband or children to break the sinful response cycle and lift your hearts towards the kindness of God that leads to repentance!  

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges of raising children is working together with your spouse in a partnership in each decision you face regarding your children.  However, gaining unity can be difficult when fathers and mothers seem so incredibly different in their approach to parenting.  God intended for a mother's feminine tendencies to bless the family and for the father's masculine characteristics to bless the family as well but what happens when those tendencies are taken too far?  We see the beauty of our differences become profane and tension arises in our homes.  In this episode, we discuss how to both recognize and respond to this phenomenon.  

Here is the link to the Connected Parenting Podcast episode mentioned"
Episode 119: The Father Effect -  https://www.connectedparenting.com/podcast

Have you ever considered that not being the 'perfect mother' may be in your children's best interest?  Could it be that your striving to meet your child's every need is actually hurting both them and you?  In this episode, we take a look at the work of the British pediatrician and psychoanalyst who coined the phrase 'the good enough mother'.  Take a listen to learn more about this fascinating concept.  

Resources mentioned in this episode are: 

https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/14/the-gift-of-the-good-enough-mother

Jordan Peterson Podcast - https://youtu.be/EzDucLhmI50?si=1tRmWoYtj2Up_4vN

Growing in our emotional intelligence and understanding of our emotional ecosystem requires that we learn to observe our thoughts.  Each of us has thought patterns that hold us back.  Today, Andie shares three common thought patterns that often hold mamas back from growth and transformation.  These three phrases/thoughts are:

• "I have to..."
• "You made me feel..."
• "It will always be this way..."

Listen to see if you are being affected by any of these thought patterns.  Learn how even small changes to your thoughts have the power to produce wildly different emotions in us!  

How comfortable are you at allowing others to feel the painful consequences of their lack of responsibility?  How often are you tempted to step in with an adaptive or reactive manner that hinders others from taking responsibility?  We can not make another person responsible, the more we try to make them responsible, the less responsible they become.  However, we can reconnect others with the pain of their lack of responsibility in a way that both allows us to remain a non-anxious presence and helps them grow in their personal responsibility.  Learn how to step out of the responsibility triangle in both your parenting and your marriage so you can grow as a non-anxious presence in your home.   

Do you struggle with martyr-mom syndrome?  Are you so busy meeting other's needs that your own go unmet and then you begin to resent the people around you for not meeting your needs?  If so, you are not alone.  Learning to be a non-anxious presence in our homes requires that we take charge of our own needs in such a way that helps us show up authentically and respect those around us.  In this episode, Andie gives four steps to learning to take charge of your own needs, which is especially important during the busy holiday season.  She discusses the Circle of Control vs the Circle of Concern and how we can use that tool to discover what legitimate needs really are.  It is possible to care about the needs of others and take responsibility for meeting your own needs at the same time.  Listen and learn how.  

In this episode, we discuss a mother's calling to minister outside her home and how vital that is to her well-being and her children's view of the broader body of Christ.  We look at principles that help us balance marriage, motherhood, and ministry.  Andie shares her own experience finding her calling both inside and outside her home and encourages you with four steps to growing in this area! 

In this episode, we take some time to discuss our parenting practices that affect our overall matrescence health.  Andie shares lessons from her parenting journey and the resources that helped her family form a confident practice of shepherding their eight children.  She discusses the role of older mentors in our lives and shares resources that have significantly formed their family's discipleship practices.  The two books mentioned most  in this episode are:

• Parents and Children by Charlotte Mason
• Shepherding Your Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp

You can find the Child Training Goals Worksheet under the Free Resource tab at GospelMatrescence.com.