Growth Marriage

The price of sex has dropped from, in our grandmother's generation, it was probably a year of dating, in my generation it was 3 dates. We had a thing called the 3-date Rule in the 80's. Now the price of sex has dropped down to the barrel-bottom price of one well-worded text. What it takes to grow a long term bond isn't sex. It's everything else! It's communication skills, conflict resolution skills, empathy, compassion. It's really hard to develop those when your brain is being assaulted with a dopamine rush not unlike the one you get from heroine that you get from a new sexual relationship. Men can have sex with the same woman every week for 6 months and not like her any more after 6 months than they did on the first day. Just because you're having sex, doesn't mean you're in love.

The price of sex has dropped from, in our grandmother’s generation, it was probably a year of dating, in my generation it was 3 dates. We had a thing called the 3-date Rule in the 80’s. Now the price of sex has dropped down to the barrel-bottom price of one well-worded text.

What it takes to grow a long term bond isn’t sex. It’s everything else! It’s communication skills, conflict resolution skills, empathy, compassion. It’s really hard to develop those when your brain is being assaulted with a dopamine rush not unlike the one you get from heroine that you get from a new sexual relationship.

Men can have sex with the same woman every week for 6 months and not like her any more after 6 months than they did on the first day.

Just because you're having sex, doesn't mean you're in love.

Valentines Day Surprise! - Gary Chapman (Author of "The 5 Love Languages") For 24 hours you can listen to, download, and enjoy this one hour interview with Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages. Sorry the sound quality is a little rough... my bad. -Nate

Valentines Day Surprise! - Gary Chapman (Author of "The 5 Love Languages")

For 24 hours you can listen to, download, and enjoy this one hour interview with Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages. Sorry the sound quality is a little rough... my bad.

 

 

-Nate

Forgiveness isn't fair. If somebody really hurt you, you don't want to let them off the hook because what they did was wrong. And if you have a high sense of justice, you think "I can't, because it's not fair." He hasn't suffered enough. He hasn't paid for his wrongs enough. And sometimes he hasn't even admitted he's wrong and said, "forgive me." But it's not dependent on any of that. It's a choice that you make. "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies." -Anne Graham

Forgiveness isn’t fair. If somebody really hurt you, you don’t want to let them off the hook because what they did was wrong. And if you have a high sense of justice, you think “I can’t, because it’s not fair.” He hasn’t suffered enough. He hasn’t paid for his wrongs enough. And sometimes he hasn’t even admitted he’s wrong and said, “forgive me.” But it’s not dependent on any of that. It’s a choice that you make. 

 

"Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."

 

-Anne Graham

Favorite quote from this episode: You become what the most important person in your life thinks that you are. "At the end of Ty's life, I want him to be able to say, 'Terri was the greatest earthly blessing in my life - the best thing that ever happened to me - and that I'm a better man because of how she loved me. And that's the goal that I live with every day. That's how I want to love this man.'"

Favorite quote from this episode:

 

You become what the most important person in your life thinks that you are. “At the end of Ty’s life, I want him to be able to say, 'Terri was the greatest earthly blessing in my life - the best thing that ever happened to me - and that I’m a better man because of how she loved me. And that’s the goal that I live with every day. That’s how I want to love this man.'"

Jay and Lara have been together for over 20 years. We met with them on Jay's 49th birthday. They took us into their home, fed us, and gave us beds to sleep in. Last year Jay retired early so he could take time to reconnect with his wife. So now they're selling their house, buying an RV, and they're going to spend a decade exploring the world, and experiencing adventure.

Jay and Lara have been together for over 20 years. We met with them on Jay's 49th birthday. They took us into their home, fed us, and gave us beds to sleep in. Last year Jay retired early so he could take time to reconnect with his wife. So now they're selling their house, buying an RV, and they're going to spend a decade exploring the world, and experiencing adventure.