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【观影变4】:喂!你的周黑鸭...不,是你的舒化奶


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The 3D blockbuster film Transformers: Age of Extinction is currently screening in most of the major cinemas across China. The box office results have been very good for the first few days. Today our movie review Laiming will check out the movie for you.


One important criterion we Chinese use to evaluate blockbusters is something called a pee-point. It describes the part of a movie where nothing exciting happens and therefore the viewers could safety embark on a journey to the lavatory without missing anything significant.


Often some nice amateur critics online would kindly pinpoint these pee-points so other viewers would know when to visit the loo. And of course, the more pee-points there are in a film, the worse it is considered to be.


"Transformers: Age of Extinction" have no pee-points for first time viewers: all viewers should be willing to exercise control of their bladders in anticipation of exciting moments.


But for those who care to look back after 166 minutes of boredom, they'll regret having endured so many pee-points and wonder what's happened to the spectacles promised in the trailer.


Indeed, there is a marked downgrade in a film which is supposed to be all about spectacles. Instead of giant machines smashing at each other, viewers get to see tiny, paranoid humans hunting down friendly Autobots.


It can be quite an impressive scene to see a swarm of ants bringing down a giant elephant, but that sensation is missing in Michael Bay's latest outing.


According to a popular joke about his fiasco, Michael Bay had started this film with a one-page story on his left hand, and a voluminous manual on the right hand which outlined all the products and faces that absolutely have to appear in the epically long film. With all due respect for the storywriter Ehren Kruger, and whoever and whatever must appear in the movie, I think the obsession with product placement destroyed every possibility for "Age of Extinction" to develop a decent story.


The viewers are fully aware that they are buying the tickets for a sensational experience, not a seriously intriguing story, but nonetheless the mediocre sensations should at least make some sense, "Age of Extinction" hardly makes any sense.


The last part of the film is set in China and is particularly unnecessary. This shift of setting may help Paramount squeeze out more shares of the box office in China, but it also creates a dent in other markets. I don't know the math behind it, but I certainly hope Michael Bay have worked that out before turning on the cameras.


Besides, the move also fuels the egocentric hallucinations on some part of Chinese critics who have begin to entertain the idea that even Hollywood is trying to lick our boots. That's exactly what is needed to stifle China's meagre creative strength in the movie industry.


The only improvement about "Transformers: Age of Extinction" is: the viewers could finally distinguish one giant machine from another, but that's probably because there is a much smaller number of them.


Michael Bay's effort to reduce cost and boost profit have yielded an awfully long commercial in IMAX 3D, moviegoers and companies may continue paying for its sequel, I will not be part of that again when it returns in 2016.
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