Emily is joined by spectacular guest host and good friend Liz Demmon. They discuss how astrology is the new religion, millisecond suicidal thoughts are totes normal and boarding school turns you gay. Enjoy!

***The episode gets cut short toward the end, it may totally f*cking catch you off guard and we are so sorry, but you will most likely survive***

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@therealemilywilson

@edemmon13

Emily just found out she's not 16 anymore. Sophia is scared of her own mania. Celine Dion's life is perfect.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

Emily debates switching to the rhythm method. Sophia turns 24 and talks about her Big Birthday Blans (plans). Nail salon employees MUST stop being bullies.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

The morning after his banger surprise party, John joins the Brunettes on the blue couch as Guffanti's first ever guest. Emily is convinced she is getting evicted. Sophia recalls a violent phase in her life. Apparently smoke has been blown up people's asses since the 1700s.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

@jawnhiggins

Emily's landlord has found her "disturbing." Sophia is on her way to becoming a practicing psychic. Childhood rage is incomparable to all other forms of rage.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

Emily ponders the wholesomeness of religion. Sophia recalls her extended absence from high school. The first ever Guffanti listener questions are answered.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

Emily explains how drunk words are not necessarily sober thoughts. Sophia recalls her terribly embarrassing pre-braces mouth. Those are about the only two G-rated topics in this filthy, graphic episode.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

Emily has a supernatural connection with Jennifer Aniston. Sophia has a bad case of Department Store Depression. Who are more nuts in the head, porn stars or YouTubers?

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

Emily does not like romantic sex. Sophia has Asian genes. Apparently the CIA is f*ckin' stupid.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario

Emily fell vulnerable to the manipulative staff of Aritzia. Sophia had a 48-hour adventure with an incel. Apparently you actually CAN affirm certain bodily issues away.

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@therealemilywilson

@sophiapercario