Gymkommentary!

It's a long road, when you're on your own. And it hurts when they tear your dreams apart. And it's a longer road, when you're with the Gymkommentators. And it hurts when they never shut their mouths.

The Tale of the Tape
Film: Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
Director: George P. Cosmatos
Runtime: 96 minutes
Genre: National Revenge Fantasy
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Charles Napier, Martin Kove, Julia Nickson-Soul
Rated: R for Gun Violence, Graphic Sweat Stains, and Scenes of Intense Facial Jiggling
IMDb, Wikipedia, Officially Licensed Rambo Knives

To get this RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II GYMKOMMENTARY FILE in your iTunes, open iTunes then go "Advanced" to "Subscribe to Podcast" and then enter this link:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/gymkommentary

On Gymkommentary 6: Rambo: First Blood Part II: Leonard Part 6, Matt and Chris head back to Vietnam, a land of exotic beauty, blatantly racist dialogue, and architecture that explodes when you shoot it with an arrow. Rambo's gonna take a mulligan on that whole Vietnam War thing: and this time, we get to WIN, thanks to Sly Stallone's rippling physique and flapping jowls. Grab some popcorn and a good supply of bodybags, and prepare yourselves for the bloodiest Gymkommentary ever.

Okay everyone! Look at the camera and say "How'd it get burned?!? HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?"

The Tale of the Tape
Film: The Wicker Man (2006)
Director: Neil LaBute
Runtime: 102 minutes
Genre: Regrettable Remake
Stars: Nicholas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Leelee Sobieski
Rated: PG-13 for Intense Hairpieces, Suggestive Kicks to the Face, and Disturbing Images of Little Girls Being Run Over By Trucks On Boats
IMDb, Wikipedia, The Wicker Man on Rotten Tomatoes

To get this WICKER MAN GYMKOMMENTARY FILE in your iTunes, open iTunes then go "Advanced" to "Subscribe to Podcast" and then enter this link:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/gymkommentary

On this enthralling edition of Gymkommentary, Matt and Chris head off to Summersisle where the women paint their faces like villains from the original Star Trek, the men are mute sex slaves, and Nicholas Cage calls little girls liars and kicks Leelee Sobieski right in her talk hole. I know it sounds like the greatest place on earth, but don't go buying a timeshare just yet! For this island carries a terrible secret. What could it be? I don't want to spoil anything, but here's a hint: it rhymes with "schmooman hackrifice." Truly these are our favorite things, our favorite things.