Hairy Butthole

This week Youngmi is joined by Maria DeCotis (comedian, Rolling Stone), who discusses her experience with a psychologically abusive relationship. Maria discusses how after leaving the relationship, she struggled with the long process of healing. She talks about the difficulties of enduring lingering emotional wounds that most people think disappear immediately after abusive relationships end. She also touches on how psychological abuse is viewed as “not that bad” in comparison to physical domestic violence, and the exhausting denial from her friends and family of its seriousness. Youngmi talks about how sometimes people who she sleeps with lie about having significant others, and questions the selfish motivations that cause people to cheat.

This week Youngmi talks to Kareem Rahma (Keep the Meter Running, FIRST! with Kareem Rahma podcast) about the art of comedic hosting. Kareem’s new show has recently blown up and he discusses the art of hosting as a comedian, and why the art form isn’t considered as a role. He talks about the importance of centering the stories of people in society who are generally ignored. He also discusses the death of his father and the emotional destabilization that led to him doing things he deeply regrets to this day. The discussion deep-dives into the sadness of regret, which is a topic not yet discussed on the podcast. Youngmi talks about feeling never-ending guilt and shame, and taking steps to alleviate that.

This week, Youngmi talks to Mudang Jenn (shaman, @shaman.mudang) about her work as a Korean shaman. Jenn talks about why it’s important to her to continue these ancient Korean traditions for Koreans of the diaspora. She discusses how her immigrant parents hated these traditions as born-again Christians and Catholics. Jenn discusses the various types of abuse she endured as a child, including religious abuse, when her grandmother was convinced she was Satan reincarnate. Youngmi talks about seeing ghosts again and asks for Jenn’s advice on an evil-seeming spirit who lives in her mirror. 

This week Youngmi talks to Kevin Hayes (artist, director, son of Lili Hayes) about LA, dive bars in the LES, open mics in the basement of a Holiday Inn, his mom and the death of his dad. Kevin talks about being placed in special ed as a teen for having dyslexia and how that tainted his view of himself versus the world. He also discusses his eccentric parents and their unusual marriage. Kevin talks about the events leading up to his dad's death and why he has chosen not to find out the cause of it. Youngmi talks about how his mom Lili Hayes is an inspiration for women who don't fit into conventional gender norms.

This week Youngmi talks to Susie (TikTok star @soogia1) about the feeling of being “too much” as an Asian woman and how she was told all her life to quiet her voice, only to become a viral TikTok sensation known for her unique voice. She discusses her transition from making videos about politics to food while maintaining the core subject of racial identity politics. She talks about not being able to handle the sad past of her father, and Youngmi discusses how she has the opposite reaction to hearing about the sad past of her mother.

This week Youngmi talks to Samuel Hyun (director of federal relations for the city Of Boston and Mayor Michelle Wu) about balancing a social media presence while having a “real” day job. Sam talks about the reasons he decided to start creating content and the difficulties of having a large Internet presence. He discusses his dad leaving his family when he was a teenager, the present state of toxic Asian men online, and the concept of holding them accountable for causing harm while also holding space for their victimhood as well. Youngmi brings up the correlation between Sam's compassion for his father and how he feels about Asian male online culture. 

This week, Youngmi is joined by Milly Tamarez (comedian, host of The Betches Sup podcast). Milly discusses a sad story that happened in her early 20s when she lacked the confidence to stand up to bad behavior from men she was dating. She also touches on a phase in her life when she only dated Asian men because she was influenced by stereotypes about Asian men. Youngmi discusses how those unfair stereotypes and exclusion from sexual viability has led to some Asian men developing “fuckboy” behaviors in order to prove them “wrong.”

This week, Youngmi speaks with Whitley Watson (comedian, host of Club Video). They discuss their shared experiences as biracial people and the similarities and differences as biracial people who are half Asian and half Black. They also touch on the idea that race is a social construct and therefore not “real” yet respecting the fact that racial identity is deeply important to a lot of people in their respective communities. Whitley discusses a traumatizing incident in high school where her high school crush who happened to be white attacked her for her “Black” features after a confusing pseudo-sexual encounter. Youngmi brings up the difficulties for young people of color who have to navigate not only their teenage raging hormones but also bear the weight of pathological societal ideologies such as racism and misogyny.

This week Youngmi speaks with Geoff Rickly (lead singer of Thursday) about his heroin recovery. After struggling with addiction for years, Geoff decided to take a powerful psychedelic treatment known as Ibogaine. Because of the risk of death during the treatment process he had to travel to Mexico. He discusses what he learned about himself and his ultimate journey out of heroin addiction. He also discusses self-hatred, hating your inner child, and the compartmentalization of different aspects of his person.

This week, Youngmi chats with Sarah Hartshorne (comedian, writer, abortion activist, former ANTM contestant). Sarah discusses how so many things in life exist on both sides of the moral boundary. She touches on how in the fashion industry, a lot of the harm is perpetuated by former victims. She also discusses how abortion transcends people's individual ideas of "good" and "bad". She talks about her work as an abortion advocate while breastfeeding her newborn (metaphor alert).