Halal Cartels

Halal Cartels

By Halal CartelsSociety & Culture
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Halal Cartels episodes

  • Black Licorice, Cop Gangs, Escaping Arranged Marriages and Embracing Bachelorhood (sry abt the audio)

    We apologize about the audio on this thang, but the content is strong in this one. See you next week with cleaner and crisper audio. Today we talk about the National Security Agency vs Buzzfeed, the origin of the FBI and their campaign against the Flores Magon brothers, cops in gangs, arranged marriages, no Nut November, and embracing bachelorhood We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord   IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco  IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon   Twitter @halalcartels   MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

    1 hr 2 min
  • Speaking in Tongues in Cuernavaca, Curbing Comedy Punishers, Toilet Wine is Haram, Being Polite is not a Virtue,
    How being polite will be your downfall. Punishers at comedy shows. Allergic reactions at languages schools.  Evangelical faith healers pray over Gabe.  Sameer's neighbor wants him to buy home made wine. We also roast the movie Top Gun: Maverick
    We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon  Twitter @halalcartels  MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
    50 min
  • Spooky New England Bisques and Spicy Nigerian Pepper Soups
    We trot the globe from the Rogue Island Comedy Fest to the night clubs of Lagos Nigeria on this episode.  We also mention Midnight Mass, a variety of soups, haunted farmhouses in Portland Maine, Stephen King’s On Writing, CIA sponsored playgrounds in the Third World, Lagos as a libertarian free-market utopia, and more
    We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon  Twitter @halalcartels  MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
    47 min
  • A Strange Journey from Civil Wars to Stand Up Comedy Festivals in South Sudan, w/ Akau Jambo

    It's an away-game episode. Gabe met Akau Jambo while he was performing a set at a coffee shop on the Lower East Side. Akau's is a riveting story, as the first English Language standup comedian coming out of South Sudan, the second youngest country in the world! Listen in as we talk about life in the refugee camps of Kenya, comedy in Uganda, and Akau's journey so far into becoming a global voice in stand-up.   Side note, Barbados is the new baby country among the nations of Earth.   Follow him at:  IG @akaujambo  Maybe one day soon Halal Cartels will do a live episode at the Juba International Comedy Fest in South Sudan, which Akau founded. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

    1 hr 10 min
  • Haunted by Soggy Ghost Girls, Klosterman's Nineties, and Pakistan is Underwater

    The joys of the library app, misinformed by search engines cluttered with ads, biblical flooding in Pakistan, the Mandela Effect, the Nineties by Chuck Klosterman, landlines, microfiche, work/life balance, Industry- the TV series, and petty life hacks 

    We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  

    IG: @gabepac1   

    twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon  


    Twitter @halalcartels  

    MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege 

    Art by @elizabitcrusher


    51 min
  • Was Sex Better Under Stalin? Who are the Gen Z Trads? Why Bosses So Horny to Return to Officespace w/ Luisa Diez

    We bring on guest and co-host of the WHY YOU MAD? Podcast, anthropologist/art historian, rabble-rouser Luisa Diez to talk about marriage, weddings, trads, the nuclear family scam, sex under socialism, and the return to the office. And we get a break down of what it means to be HALAL/CARTELS. This one is fuego  Follow Luisa https://twitter.com/luisadieznuts  

    We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon  Twitter @halalcartels  MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

    56 min
  • Aliens on the Lolita Express, Botanical Sexism, the Bushido Code is a Rent-A-Cop Manual

    We tackle the big issues this time around. Allergies, Pets, the Tom Brown Jr. Tracking School, Samurai Bashing, UFOs, Climate Change, the Amish immune system, and space travel, Harvest of Empire, Gaddafi's drip, and more. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

    58 min
  • Explosive Ink Packets on Your Door Dash Delivery, New Predator flick "Prey", and Paris Comedy
    Prey, Stand-Up Comedy in Paris, Ministry of the Future, the dangers of Door Dash, the limits of liberte, egalite, and fraternite, shoddy American construction, McMansions wastelands,  the rise of ecological protection by any means necessary, and we got MERCH coming. Holler for shirts and lighters.
    Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco  IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon   Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
    53 min

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Halal Cartels