Harmony in the Home

We talk a lot about B- parenting and with that comes a lot of mistakes and blunders and imperfections from both parties.  Living in compassion and grace and empathy for ourselves allows us to give that gift to our kids. Today I talk about the 4 Rs  of an apology developed by the Gottman Institute which is the leader on relationships and great to model this for our kids.

The 4 Rs are 

Responsibility 

Repair

No Repeat

Remorse

Read more about it here: https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/

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I want to teach you about an important concept called Buffering. Buffering is any kind of activity that you take a part in that is an effort to escape negative emotions that creates a negative result .

Sometimes we think we need to be happy all the time and should never feel negative emotion. So then if we feel a negative emotion then we feel like something has gone wrong and want to “buffer” away from that emotion.

Feeling pain and negative emotion is part of our human experience and when we resist negative emotion then that emotion will only get stronger and intense. It is kind of like when I tried to resist laughing in this video with my best friend in high school. https://tinyurl.com/ResistingEmotion When i tried to stop laughing, we only laughed harder. The same idea works with negative emotions….what we resist will only persist!

Zap me back to tell me your biggest takeaway from this episode.

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We are heading into uncharted territory with CoronaVirus Pandemic and parenting our miracles through it all. I was inspired by this talk with Dr. Shefali https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGKRwE99fc4 to share with you how to be calm during the insecure times.

Our kids are watching us during uncertainty so they know what to do during uncertainty. Here is where our good deed went left: https://tinyurl.com/GoodDeedWentToGreed that I talk about in this episode.

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Join my FREE parenting bootcamp: https://mailchi.mp/038b02da043a/freebootcamp

Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:

Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com

Find me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kelly.hutcheson

Find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/kelly.stouthutcheson

Moms ask me all the time what to do when kids lie. I’ll help you figure out why they lie, how to prevent it and what to do when they lie. The goal is to strengthen their inner dialogue early so they choose not to lie because of how it makes them feel vs hoping that mom and dad don’t find out about it. I’ll teach you how to strengthen their inner dialogue now so it will only get stronger as they grow .

And here is the 4 R’s of an apology I touched on this week and will dive even deeper in another episode. https://www.socialmediatoday.com/content/power-im-sorry-four-rs-trustworthy-apology

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Join my FREE parenting bootcamp: https://mailchi.mp/038b02da043a/freebootcamp

Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:

Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com

Find me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kelly.hutcheson

Find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/kelly.stouthutcheson

Last week we unpacked our relationship with time and brought conscious awareness around our thoughts about time. This week, we will create action steps to bring us closer to our goals because abundant motivation and drive will be coming from the feelings line of our model.

I will show you how to love the time you have and have enough time to create a oola life by design so you are controlling your time and time is not controlling you. You will have down time coupled with time to create the life of your dreams.

We need to create a relationship with time just like we would with our loved ones. The way we talk about time should be similar to the way we talk about our dear friend. Because our relationship with time will set the tone for how we approach the tasks we want to do in life and how efficient we are in accomplishing them.

We can’t achieve our goals when we are constantly telling our brains that there isn’t enough time for any of it. When we come from lack with time then we will create more lack with time. When we come from an abundant mindset with time then we will create more time to do the things we do want to do and do the things we don’t want to do that will bring us closer to our goals.

https://www.oolalife.com/

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Join my FREE parenting bootcamp: https://mailchi.mp/038b02da043a/freebootcamp

Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:

Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com

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A lot of times we are asked to wear masks as a child and we unconsciously wear them because they act as an oxygen mask to seek security and stability and love. When we grow up, we still have those masks and then expect our children to wear them too because we aren’t even aware we even have them on and assume that is what the child is supposed to do. Some examples of masks could be, but not limited to:

1. The Cool Guy

2. The Humorist

3. The Overachiever

4. The Martyr

5. The Bully

6. The Control Freak

7. The Self-Basher

8. The People-Pleaser

9. The Introvert

10. The Social Butterfly

I’ll help unpack these masks and how they serve us, but also how they hinder us from being vulnerable in our closest relationships.

Leave a review if you had any lightning bolt moments while listening.

I loved teaching reading when I taught first grade.  I used a couple of different approaches with my first grade team so their reading levels and scores would soar to the highest level possible for each child.  Even though they all came to me at varying levels, my first grade team worked together to find their sweet spot of learning to give them books at their “just right” spot so they were never bored and never overly frustrated. THe same works when we are teaching kids about their emotions. 

The best way to have more harmony in  your home is to teach kids how to self regulate their emotions .  We can do that together as we get in alignment with our emotions then we can teach our kids how to do the same and pull from the strategies that we model, guide them through and as they practice them independently.

I break this down on how it looked in the classroom so you can transfer that same skill set around your children in your four walls; where all the magic happens to create an emotional literacy lab right under your nose.

Share this episode with every parent you know and tag me on social media when you share this episode!  

Subscribe on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/harmony-in-the-home/id1471554293

Subscribe on Android: 

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kelly-hutcheson/harmony-in-the-home

Join my FREE parenting bootcamp: https://mailchi.mp/038b02da043a/freebootcamp

Let’s Connect! Here’s where you can find me:

Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com

Find me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kelly.hutcheson

Find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/kelly.stouthutcheson

Destination addiction is the concept that happiness is in a final destination or can be found somewhere else rather than the present. We all want happiness, but sometimes we think that happiness can be found in another job, another spouse, or another weight and so it consumes us and holds us back from being happy today with our current situations. Or we put our happiness on hold to acquire this goal and once we achieve it we are very disappointed that it’s not all that it was cracked up to be. So today I’ll unpack this concept for you so you can have consciousness around it and find your happily ever after today and inside of you instead of somewhere else with someone else. Zap me with a review if you had any lightning bolt moments.

Today we have a special guest on the podcast and that is my dad, Len Stout who is one of the most wonderful humans on this planet and you get to learn and grow from him in this part 2 episode about how he faced challenges in raising 3 girls and kept his cool throughout it all. I don’t know how he did it, but he shares a lot of his past and how is constructed his future; I even learned a lot about him and he dove deep for us to learn and grow with him.