What if all the words you ever said were recorded? If you wore a microphone all the time? What would your words say about you? As we start a new series, Sticks & Stones, Nate Hilgenkamp teaches through Matthew 12:33-37, showing us how much God cares about our words.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- When you are all alone your words show who you really are.

- However great something’s potential for good is, equal is its potential for evil.

- The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Proverbs 18:21).

- What you plant is what will grow.

- Your relationship with your words is similar to your relationship with your bank: you can only withdraw what you have deposited.

- Apple seeds make apple trees, and orange seeds make orange trees...there are no exceptions. It’s no different with your heart and your words. What type of seeds are you planting?

- You can’t fake what is growing in your heart.

- God hears everything you say, so you are only fooling yourself if you think you can hide or fake anything.

- Ask someone close to you what your words display about who you are.

- There is a big difference between simply not sinning with your words and advancing the kingdom of God.

- Put purpose behind your words.

- Are you thoughtful about your words? Every single word you speak is an opportunity to speak with purpose.

- If you are a parent, what words will your kids remember about you?

- To put purpose behind your words, pray before you speak.

- You will pay for what you say.

- On the day you die and stand before God, what will your words say about you? It’s only through Christ’s death and resurrection that we are saved, but we will give an account for our words.

- The most important words ever spoken were from Jesus: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Do you believe those words?

MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

- Suggested Scripture study: Matthew 12:33-37; Proverbs 18:21

- Sermon: Words Matter

God created the earth in the very first verse of the Bible. Do you know what He did immediately after that? As we finish our series, Conflicted, JP talks about our ability and authority as Christians, as well as answers the most common questions we received about conflict.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- Ability and authority go hand in hand, and as Christians, we have both when it comes to handling conflict.

- Here is the ability for how to handle conflict: See conflict as an opportunity, own your part, know conflict is pressing, overlook a small offense, clearly express your hurt, and when necessary, widen the circle.

- Asking for forgiveness should be normative for Christians.

- Knowing what to do is often not the problem. It’s the fact that we are scared and care too much about what others think about us.

- Right after God created the earth itself, it was formless and empty, so He formed and filled it.

- God made mankind in His image and commands us to fill the earth and “subdue it” or form it.

- Genesis chapter 3 is the grand conflict in all of Scripture, and in the very same chapter, we see God provide the solution in Christ.

- The church has authority given to us by the Father through Jesus which we live out in the Spirit.

- Central to what it means to be a follower of Christ is to be a minister of reconciliation. With the authority God has given us comes a responsibility.

- Christians are often the number one offenders in doing the very things God calls us to fight against: gossip, slander, cynicism, and reconciliation.

- The Word of God is our conscience, authority, and guide.

Q&A

How do I handle conflict with someone who isn’t a Christian?

- The opportunity in conflict with a non-believer is to share the gospel.

- Love them, share the gospel, and make much of Jesus!

How do I handle conflict with someone of the opposite sex?

- The setting might change based on variables (married, single, family, etc.), but the process remains the exact same.

What if I need time and space before resolving conflict?

- This is very common language today, but we don’t see it in Scripture.

- The Scriptures teach an urgency in dealing with conflict. Again, we don’t see time and space prescribed in Scripture.

- It’s unloving to leave an open ended plan for when and how quickly you will meet to resolve conflict with someone.

What if someone ghosts you?

- Reach out and ask if you have offended them.

- Never practice the process of conflict resolution over text message or email. Never.

What is forgiveness?

- To rightly understand forgiveness, we always have to start with Jesus and what He did for us on the cross.

- Forgiveness in the Bible is a release or a dismissal of something.

What if I’m not ready to forgive someone?

- Go back and center your mind and heart on your trespass against a holy God.

- Remind yourself how much God has forgiven you of.

- This is a great chance to display and live out the gospel.

What if the person who hurt you is your boss?

- Are they a Christian? If yes, practice the process of conflict resolution. If no, share the gospel.

- Don’t measure obedience by the outcome. Have an “even if” faith when it has to do with areas of obedience.

Why have you said this might the most important series you will ever teach?

- Conflict resolution is central to the Gospel. It is the gospel!

- There is a separation of church/faith in our day that God never intended. We should take our faith with us in 100% of everything we do.

MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

- Suggested Scripture study: Genesis 1:1-2, 26-28; Genesis 3:16-19; Matthew 18:15-20; 2 Corinthians 15:14-19; Proverbs 26:4-5; Matthew 5:21-26

- Conflict Field Guide

- Week 1, 2 & 3 of Conflicted

Have you ever known the right thing to do but didn’t feel like doing it? Or maybe you did it, but it was begrudgingly and with the wrong heart? What posture should you take when pursuing conflict with others? As we continue our series, Conflicted, JP teaches us how to be balanced when dealing with conflict.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- There are so many things that Christians are divided on...there are over 30,000 different denominations in America alone.

- You don’t get to pick your biological family, and the same is true of Christianity; Christians are part of God’s family.

- To summarize the last two weeks of our series, Conflicted: 1) Change your perspective, see conflict as an opportunity; 2) Own your part; 3) Know conflict is pressing; 4) Overlook a small offense; 5) Clearly communicate your hurt; and 6) Widen the circle.

- “Worthy” in Ephesians 4:1-6 is from axios, which is where we get axel and axis. It is something that a structure balances on. Paul is calling us to live with a sense of balance.

- Be balanced in attitude.

- In conflict, are you more focused on winning and being right or resolving the conflict and seeking peace?

- Our country is divided unlike few times in its history. As Christians, we all have a role to play...none of us are on the bench.

- To be balanced in attitude in conflict is to be as humble as you possibly can. This type of humility does not come from striving but from surrendering.

- Be balanced in effort.

- This admonition from the text is not “let go let God,” it’s “Let God and let’s go!”

- Christians have one and only one enemy: Satan.

- Make no mistake, Satan is way stronger than you are. However, God is infinitely stronger than him.

- To be balanced in effort is to fall fully into the strength of God.

- Be balanced in unity.

- You have more in common with any Christian—regardless of language, skin color, politics, etc.—than you do with any non-Christian.

MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

- Suggested Scripture study: Ephesians 4:1-6; 1 Peter 2:23; James 4:1; Ephesians 3:20; Colossians 1:29

- Conflict Field Guide

- Week 1 & 2 of Conflicted

Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship because of conflict? As we continue our series, Conflicted, JP teaches through Matthew 18:15-17, showing us how to overlook a small offense, clearly express our hurt, and widen the circle.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- Whether you realize it or not, conflict affects every single relationship you have, and because God loves you, He has given you everything you need to get through it.

- A healthier Harris Creek will have more conflict, not less.

- Did you know that Jesus prayed for you? He prayed that you would live in unity with other Christians the same way He and the Father are unified.

- As a summary of the first message in our series, Conflicted: See conflict as an opportunity; own your part; and, conflict is pressing...there is an urgency to it.

- Overlook a small offense.

- Are you more prone to peace-faking or peace-breaking? If faking, you probably need to pursue offenses more. If breaking, you probably need to overlook offenses more.

- If you can’t overlook something, you should go address it with the person.

- God in His kindness gave us three really clear steps for how to deal with conflict.

- Clearly express your hurt.

- When someone hurts you go and tell them: “You hurt me by _______”.

- Three helpful questions to help you assess what’s going on in your heart are: How do I feel? What did the offense cost me? What am I asking for from them?

- A crystal clear application of the first part of this Scripture is to go and talk to someone, just between the two of you.

- The 24-hour rule: If someone talks to you about someone behind their back, give that person 24-hours to go tell the person they talked about, and if they don’t, go with them to talk to the person together.

- God is in the business of putting things back together through His Son so that the world would see His Son.

- Widen the circle.

- Stay in the ring and don’t get out of the ring...only bring in others who are part of the problem or part of the solution.

- Church discipline is helping people see their blind spots, protecting the flock from wolves, and helping members see their clear path to redemption.

- Church discipline is not publicly shaming someone. It’s all about restoration and unity so that Christ may be more known.

- Conflict is hard, yes. However, the cross was hard, and God loved us enough to go through with it so that we could be in a relationship with Him again.

MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

- Suggested Scripture study: Matthew 18:15-17; Ephesians 4:1-3; John 17:20-23; Proverbs 19:11

- Conflict Field Guide

- Conflicted week 1

Have you ever been angry with someone before? Had someone who was angry with you? As we start our new series, Conflicted, JP teaches through Matthew 5:21-26, teaching us to change our perspective, own our part, and understand that conflict is pressing.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- The way we deal with anger and conflict is what we learned from our home. Are you open to learning a better way?

- The first step to deal with conflict is to change your perspective

- Conflict is an opportunity to glorify God, be sanctified, and deepen relationships. Avoiding it will not go well with you.

- Those who belong to God are peace makers. Not peace fakers or breakers, but peace makers.

- All healthy relationships are marked by conflict. Someone who says they never have conflict in relationships does not have real relationships.

- When there is conflict in your life you should be marked by urgency to address it.

- The second step to deal with conflict is to own your part.

- If you are part of the conflict, you have a part in the conflict.

- Don’t talk to someone about a problem if they aren’t part of the problem. Go talk to the person(s) that is part of the problem.

- The worst part about blind spots is you can’t see them, and when you get angry, they get worse.

- When seeking forgiveness, don’t simply apologize (“I’m sorry”) or command forgiveness (“Forgive me”), humble yourself and ASK for forgiveness: “Will you please forgive me for _________?”

- Make no mistake, conflict is work. However, as ambassadors of reconciliation for Christ, it’s one of the most important things we do.

- The third step to deal with conflict is to understand that conflict is pressing.

- We cannot measure obedience by the outcome. We measure obedience by understanding what God says to do and then doing it.

- Satan hates you, and one of his main agendas is to make you hate and be in conflict with other Christians.

MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

- Suggested Scripture study: Matthew 5:21-26; Matthew 7:3-5; Ephesians 4:2; Ephesians 4:26; Romans 12:18

- Conflict field guide

Have you ever felt like life is unfair? Like you didn’t get something that you thought you deserved? As we continue our series, Summer of Stories, Nate Hilgenkamp teaches through the parable of the workers in the vineyard in Matthew 20:1-16.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Like many of His other parables, Jesus starts this one the same way: “The kingdom of heaven is like…”

We don’t work to get saved into heaven, but once we are saved, we get to work for the Lord.

“Can we be casual in the work of God—casual when the house is on fire, and people are in danger of being burned?” -Duncan Campbell

If you are bored with Jesus it’s not because He’s gotten boring.

Life in a fallen world doesn’t seem fair, and because we don’t fully understand God and His ways, He doesn’t appear fair either.

The true wages of our efforts in life—our sin—is death.

The landowner was trying to be as generous as He possibly could…exactly what God does for us.

We don’t work in order to receive a reward, we work because we’ve already received our reward.

Don’t miss God’s generosity because you are too busy comparing yourself to others.

When you realize what God has done for you will be marked by gratitude and generosity.

MENTIONED OR RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:

Suggested Scripture study: Matthew 20:1-16; Ephesians 2:8-10; James 4:8; Romans 6:23; Psalm 103:8-12; Romans 5:6-8

Sermon: Life Leveraged for Treasure

Blog: Is God Fair?