Episode 6: (Minutes 50:20 to 1:00:50)

This week rushes us through our first day of classes and the first (and only) flying lesson at Hogwarts. We seriously question Madam Hooch’s qualifications and also, why isn’t she called “professor?!” This chunk finds us eventually creating a spinoff of just Sir Nicholas and the Grey Lady roaming around gossiping after killing off Harry’s character. Should be a hit. (Another *small* post-credits fight again this week…)

Join us next week for minutes 1:00:50 to 1:13:44!

(Scene Marker: This chunk ends with the trio at the trophy case and Harry’s line, “I didn’t know”...)

Episodes 5: (Minutes 41:28 to 50:20)

This week brings us into Hogwarts and the tradition of the Sorting Hat (minus the song!). We get into a mathematical debate about the number of students and realize it’s possible neither of us know what we’re talking about. This chunk invites us to the first feast in the Great Hall despite ghosts getting all up in that chicken. Stay tuned after the show for our sad attempt at an elocution lesson from two former Midwesterners. (Also, we definitely forgot to say our likes and dislikes. We’re sorry, we suck sometimes!)

Join us next week for minutes 50:20 to 1:00:50!

(Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Harry petting Hedwig next to an open window…)

Episode 4: (Minutes 31:02 to 41:28)

This week puts us on the Hogwarts Express after an apparently large chunk of time travelling and a disappearing Hagrid. We want to know where August went?! This chunk introduces us to the Weasleys as we travel to Hogwarts and truly brings us a lot of joy. Also, our heroine Hermione comes in hot with her big dick energy and we are HERE for it.

Join us next week for minutes 41:28 to 50:20!

(Scene Marker: This chunk ends with McGonagall’s line, “We’re ready for you now. Follow me”...)

Episode 3: (Minutes 20:08 to 31:02)

This week we experience Diagon Alley for the first time, glorious Gringott’s, and we clear up last week’s post-credits “disagreement”. We love the details of everything but we aren’t happy about missing poems or goblin fingers. This chunk also has us wondering why Ollivander is so creepy and whether or not he’s actually a good storekeeper. Post-credits have us discussing embarrassing shows that we’re into (just a few…)

Join us next week for minutes 31:02 to 41:28!

(Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Hagrid’s line “You’re the boy who lived”...)

Episode 2: (Minutes 10:01 to 20:08)

This week we see Harry turn 11 and enter the wizarding world-all thanks to a large, hairy man breaking into a shack. This chunk has us wondering how everyone knows exactly what HP looks like at 11, why is Hagrid so trusted, and is it possible that he’s a bit twisted for disfiguring a child? Stay after the podcast for a few minutes of a heated Quirrell debate.

Join us next week for minutes 20:08 to 31:02!

(Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Harry Potter telling Quirrell “goodbye” at the Leaky Cauldron…)

Episode 1: (Minutes 0 to 10:01)

This week we dive into the first chunk of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone! We meet toy baby Harry Potter, the sort of shitty Dursley’s, OG Dumbledore, and so many freaking owls. In this chunk, we look for scripty writing on the letters, costume details, and wish we had more Figg! We also coin the phrase “book bitch” for when we notice a discrepancy between the books and the movies.

Join us next week for minutes 10:01 to 20:08!

(Scene Marker: This chunk ends with Harry Potter slowly closing his cupboard door…)

Welcome to Harry Potter Movie Minutes! A weekly podcast with two bi-coastal friends dissecting the movies of the wizarding world *approximately* 10 minutes at a time.