Hashtag Embarrassed

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 24 - #HighStories, Part 1!  

Hashtag Embarrassed is an indica-dominant hybrid strain. Unsurprisingly, this strain has a distinct, fart-forward aroma, with a skunky taste on the exhale.  

The euphoric, uplifting, pain-relieving, and relaxation effects of this strain include:  

Creeping on servers at a chain restaurant in Small Indiana Town  
Cooking with mushrooms  
Imagine if weed was a person?  
You get a piece of nipple, and YOU get a piece of nipple, and YOU get a piece of nipple, and  

Before you go, don’t forget to check out Rebecca’s upcoming country single, “Stop Your Heart And Burn Your Boobs, And Be The Best Friend That I Need You To Be, I Will Put Myself In A Coma.”

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 23 - #DrunkStories! The July 2021 Premium Boxed vintage of Hashtag Embarrassed offers a heady and intoxicating nose, with overtones of tobacco and macerated cherry, undertones of In-N-Out Burger Spread, and a husky, acidic tang on the finish that will leave your palate feeling like it's taking the walk of shame straight into work the next morning.  

Tasting Notes:  

Good ol pee jug  
Put on your meat loafers  
If it’s not on TikTok, I don’t know about it, because I have anxiety  
“Your house is so nice, it’s like where they film porn”  
Have you ever [censored] a [censored] [censored] in [censored] while you’re sittin’ on this [censored]?  ‘cause that is the first thing I picture

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 22!  We didn't forget we had a podcast, and hopefully you didn't either! 

Did you know you can earn prizes or cash? Hey—it’s for real! Just join the Hashtag Embarrassed Sales Club and find out for yourself! Here’s the deal- you sell greeting cards, stationery, gift wrap and more; you earn big bucks or outrageous prizes, including:

• Weak excuses for Hashtag Embarrassed’s latest hiatus
• The betrayal of Drugless Douglas
• Bezo babies. Zuckerberg babies. GATES BABIES.
• This is my wedding day, whatever I have to do to make you look at me I will do it. I will put myself in a FUCKING COMA
• Elizabeth returns to the scene of a crime

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 21- #FuneralStories, Part 2!  

It's time for the Hashtag Embarrassed Put a Finger Down challenge! Put a finger down if you:

• #NoodleMode
• How comfortable would you be if youuuuuuu.... heard about a bird’s asshole? Like... 7? Out of 10?
• Ain’t stoppin’ till the casket’s droppin’
• A picture of a man in a mullet with cash fanned out over his body... it was his beauty that had ruined him, his beauty and the youth that he had prayed for
• Stop that man! He's not Pop-Pop's grandson!

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 20 - #GotchaStories, Part 2! No rose without a thorn, but many a thorn without a rose- is this podcast a rose? Because it doesn’t… smell like one.  

Seat backs and tray tables must be placed in their upright and locked positions. Please ensure all of the following items are stowed under your seat or in the overhead bins:

• Babies with scissors
• Don’t start touchin’ your coo-coo till the door is double-checked
• Example vibrator noises
• Example touchin’ your coo-coo noises
• Ring lights for your thing site
• Here’s my cooter, here’s my pooter, I don’t care
• Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no… toilet paper… in here
• Shauna can’t handle the vibes, Cheyenne is dead inside, but Mary is a golden moment

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 19 - #GotchaStories!  

Look under your seats! It’s….  

• Dr. Swamp Crotch isn’t a homie, not yet
• It’s never too late to Live Más
• Guess who’s back, back again? Tramp stamps. It’s tramp stamps.
• A story from Matt, host of Straight From the Hot Tap, who is almost certainly English, or at the very least, possibly European. Maybe.
• Elizabeth accepts a cigarette from a dead man
• A rallying cry against enemies of the No Pants Revolution

#GmailThatIsh

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 18 - #FuneralStories!  

Per Food and Drug Administration 21 CFR § 101.17, the safety of this product has not been determined, and may contain less than 10% by weight of:  

• The Rise of the Chicken King and the Fall of the Tiger King
• A Christmas thing where we’ll play sad music, and you can make a stupid ornament and cry, in public, because THAT’S fucking fun
• Elizabeth can have Jesus anywhere she wants
• Which one of our hosts knows more about Jessica Simpson?
• Rebecca has some nice things to say about the Birthday Gentleman
• Who needs Tinder if you volunteer at the soup kitchen?

Avoid spraying in eyes. Contents under pressure. Do not puncture or incinerate. Do not store at temperatures above 120 deg.F, and do not forget to follow us on Twitter @embarrassed_pod.

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, winner of the Nasty and Morbid Podcast of the Year award! Tonight, Episode 17 - #VacationStories!

Please find enclosed:

• Spoiler alerts for the 2012 Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman-directed Pixar joint, Brave
• A very nearly copyright-infringing performance of In the Arms of an Angel by Sarah McLachlan that just barely squeaks into Fair Use territory
• Playing Titanic with Cory Alexander
• Baby tunnels ’n gravy funnels
• Rebecca saying “saggy vulva” on the podcast

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, an award-adjacent, celebrity-acknowledged podcast! Look out, JoJo Siwa, whoever or whatever that is?    

Tonight, on Episode 16: SiblingStories! Part 2:  

• Elizabeth learns to pronounce the name of one of her best friends
• Rebecca wants to get a tattoo of Elizabeth’s last name
• Elizabeth’s mom is given a nickname (despite her being a disgusting chess-playing intellectual)
• Rebecca doesn’t shit in her pants (barely)
• Rebecca and Elizabeth pause the podcast while they cry about their dogs that died last year (yes this is still a comedy podcast)
• Elizabeth shares a hot tip for avoiding embarrassment while stalking someone on social media, but fails to realize that this is a public podcast that anyone can listen to

Disclaimer: I know on one of the older episodes we told Rebecca’s mom not to listen, but maybe Rebecca’s mom (and maybe her cousins) can also not listen to this one, as a personal favor.

Welcome to Hashtag Embarrassed, Episode 15 - #SiblingStories! (Or, “I Can’t Believe You’re Going To Come At Me With Some Poop-Poop On My MySpace Wall”)  

I wonder if putting out clickbait content will boost our audience? Couldn’t hurt to try.  

On tonight’s special episode of Hashtag Embarrassed, you’ll never guess….   

• What optional cable packages Elizabeth had in the eighth grade!?
• How Rebecca’s mild narcolepsy manifests!?
• What Elizabeth’s co-worker asked her the other day!?
• What Rebecca did last summer!?
• How many stepbrothers Elizabeth’s cousin has… ON HER MOTHER’S SIDE!?

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