We love to watch people rise.

We cheer for the underdog, admire their grit, and celebrate their early wins. But the moment they cross into real success—the kind that sets them apart—something shifts. Suddenly, we start picking them apart. We look for cracks, mistakes, scandals. We whisper, “Who do they think they are?”

Elon Musk is maybe a tricky example—because let’s face it, the man is as controversial as they come. But here’s the truth: people were tearing him down long before politics, Twitter wars, or hot takes. And this isn’t about him—it’s about us (I had to get your attention somehow. hello?). If you find yourself triggered by every little thing and unable to hold a rational conversation, that’s exactly why you need to keep reading. Because what we hate in others often reveals the very thing we’re avoiding in ourselves.

It doesn’t matter if they’re creating jobs, donating millions, or solving real problems. We’ll still find a reason to drag them down.

And here’s the truth no one likes to admit: that criticism says more about us than it does about them.

Why We Tear People Down

Psychologists call it status inconsistency resentment—the discomfort we feel when someone climbs the social or financial ladder faster than we think they “should.” We love when people are scrappy and struggling, because it makes us believe we could do it too. But when they’re wildly successful? We stop seeing them as one of us, and start seeing them as above us.

That comparison stings. Because if they made it, maybe it’s not luck. Maybe it’s choices. And sitting with that reality is uncomfortable.

So instead of facing our own lack of progress, we attack. We discredit. We gossip. We convince ourselves they were lucky, connected, or corrupt. That way, we don’t have to ask hard questions like:

* Why haven’t I taken more risks?

* What’s stopping me from building something greater?

* Where am I still playing small?

Here’s the pattern I’ve noticed again and again:People attack what they secretly wish they had.

Envy is the ego’s shield. Think about it:

* The person mocking a billionaire’s spending often struggles to pay their own bills.

* The person tearing down an author’s bestseller hasn’t written a single page.

* The person criticizing someone else’s confidence usually wishes they had more of their own.

We critique what we crave. And every minute we spend doing that is a minute we’re not building, creating, or rising.

But we can actually do something about this

If you’re tired of wasting your energy tearing others down, here’s how to redirect it:

1. Catch yourself.The next time you feel the urge to criticize someone’s success, pause. Ask: Am I really analyzing their choices—or just projecting my frustration?

2. Study instead of dismiss.Every successful person knows something you don’t. What mindset did they adopt? What risks did they take? What can you learn from their story?

3. Use discomfort as a mirror.If someone’s wealth, boldness, or confidence makes you uneasy, ask: Why? That’s your clue. The trigger often reveals what you actually want for yourself.

4. Take one bold action.Instead of gossiping about what others have accomplished, write down one uncomfortable, needle-moving step you can take today toward your own rise.

Here’s the Bigger Truth:

When you get close to highly successful people, you see what it really takes: mindset work, risk-taking, relentless effort, resilience. Nothing magical. Just one step at a time.

And once you see that, envy fades. You realize they’re not untouchable—they’re proof that it’s possible.

And I am not talking we should we looking up to ALL successful people - people that we don’t like, sociopaths or world leaders who love to play war. Think more generally about instances in which we are triggered for no reason…..by friends and associated who suddenly pass you by….

The question is: will you let their rise inspire you or threaten you?

Because envy will keep you small. But turning frustration into fuel? That will change everything.

So my challenge to you is simple:Stop tearing others down. Start building yourself up.

You’ll be amazed at what happens when you trade bitterness for boldness.

Because when you rise to more, you don’t just elevate yourself—you give others permission to rise too.

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