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“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw

I caught the George Bernard Shaw quote a few days ago, and it made me reflect back on my life. It is almost 21 years that my son passed away.

I do not recognize myself from the person I was in the past. I am more confident. I appreciate myself more. I have a new life, blogging and advocating social change for social good and recently, a budding coffee producer. I am having the time of my life and feeling beautiful, loved and being loving.

After years of denial, numbing feelings of pain and all sorts of emotions, I finally came true to myself. I learned to take care of myself emotionally through practice and learning new behavioral patterns like. "Acting as if " (see episode 4)

I forced myself into positive recovery behaviors, disregarding my doubts and fears, until my feelings caught up with reality. I am still a work in progress, of course.  Leave a voice message here. https://anchor.fm/momblogger/message

I am not a very religious person but I believe in prayers. I often drop by this quaint little chapel in Eastwood or the one in Greenbelt. See, my children don’t live with me anymore and I worry as most parents do. My only comfort is in prayers as it lessens my anxiety.

My prayers are always for my children: May they be safe, may they be happy, and may they be healthy. Leave me a voice message here. https://anchor.fm/momblogger/message

Today is the birth anniversary of my dad. I miss my dad terribly. My dad outlived two of my brothers, my mom and his grandchild, Luijoe. My sister , Myrna believes that dad’s legacy is his example of strength and perseverance to us, the seven children and eighteen grandchildren. I learned by watching him suffer from the ravages of Stroke, that I should never give up on life, and to hold on to every precious moment with my loved ones, fully aware that, like a candle’s flame, life can flicker out in an instant. His laughter just resonated . Enthusiastic, effervescent, so full of life! Leave me a voice message here. https://anchor.fm/momblogger/message . Your message could end up on a future episode of this podcast if you agree.

I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.– Wayne Dyer

It’s so easy to notice what’s wrong.

It takes practice to see what’s right.

Sometimes, it can’t be helped that I get my dose of negative vibes but I let it go after a while. I don’t let it destroy me. Each day, I ask myself, what’s right and what’s good about other people, my work, my day and my loved ones. Positive energy heals and transforms. I choose positive energy. I try to maintain a positive frame of mind by surrounding myself with positive energy in my life. I usually add the following elements to my life:

"A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again. Yes, they're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on."

Holly Goldberg Sloan said, "For someone grieving moving forward is a challenge because after extreme loss you want to go back." Unfortunately, we still live in a world where grief is a taboo topic. People who don’t outwardly show grief are said to be ‘strong’ and ‘brave’ while those who show and express feelings are spoken of in derogatory terms such as ‘falling apart’ and ‘going to pieces’ or ‘breaking down’ etc. “She’s not moving on”…In reality the latter are the strong ones, as they don’t care what people think of them.