Have coffee with me

There is nothing abnormal about having the "holiday blues," which are more like a mood than any sort of lasting condition. Depression, anxiety, and other psychological symptoms are associated with the holidays because this season brings back memories of a happier time in our lives.

Whenever news about a mother is sensationalized or controversial, my readers ask for my reaction. I tell them that I cannot judge on what a parent should or should not do. Like any parent, I made mistakes in the past, learned from them and never did it again. Now the next question comes up with “How do you know whether you are being responsible or irresponsible ?” How do we teach our children what it means and how to act accordingly? Ellen Schrier on “What Exactly IS A “Responsible” Parent?” gave me wonderful insights on parenting without being preachy and calls upon your better judgment, maternal instinct and being honest about your role as a parent/

It is actually simple. Remember these key phrases. To be responsible means to respond appropriately.

It’s quite common to hear oh she is so brave! when the broken-hearted person appears controlled and poised in the face of grief. How is someone supposed to feel when their heart is broken?

And yet we continue to admire those who do not show their grief in public, who receive condolences as though the occasion were a pleasant Sunday afternoon blabber. He was so brave. I was proud of him. He didn’t break down, not once, and so on and so forth…we hear people say.

Really, whose benefit is this tight hold on our emotions? For the griever’s sake? For the sake of the consoling friends, who may be afraid of being swept into their grief?

I learned from my parents. When the girls consulted with me on their college degrees, I said “Do whatever you want. Follow your passion. Because if you are happy in the work that you do, there is no need for me to worry if you will be successful. You will be successful if you’re doing something that you love to do.”

I am so excited that I got accepted as a program participant of YouTube's Creator Program for Independent Journalists. YouTube announced on August 5  "the selection of nearly 50 independent journalists and over 40 digital-first newsrooms across the programs." The Creator Program for Independent Journalists aims to give the growing number of reporters publishing independently the tools needed to succeed on YouTube. I will continue to cover underplayed stories, fighting disinformation, Covid-19 and Voters' Education. So I am just learning how to do video production.  I started practicing a few videos at my channel. Don't worry, I will get better. Here is my channel https://www.youtube.com/user/noemidado. , You can read more about it here https://blog.youtube/news-and-events/supporting-news-industry-and-next-generation-journalists-youtube/

This podcast episode is a departure from my usual post on grief recovery so this will be a public service post. 

I wasn't planning to write about my housing loan experience right after the enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) last year, but I continue to receive queries until today. Because of my Facebook post on accrued interest payments in October 2020, four other clients with a similar experience from the same commercial bank asked me about the process for its reversal, so let me share my experience. (I published the printed version of this podcast at the Sunday Business & IT, Manila Times, August 1, 2021.)

I know I haven't posted anything for over a month. Here are some updates in my life and celebrating my son's 28th birth anniversary. Death ended my child’s life but not his relationship with my family. Even if there is no birthday boy to celebrate his 28 th birthday with, I know that a spritual bond exists between us. As I gaze at the lovely flowers I bought at the Market! Market!, I marvel at God’s creation on the beauty of life. It’s good to be alive and to have survived the past 21 years of this grief journey. True, my son might not be around but his memory lives in my heart. We can still celebrate his birth anniversary at home.

I like looking back to what I wrote back then. Here is an affirmation that I took from my recovery notes:

For too long, I have been hard on myself. Others have spilled their negative energy on me. I know it had nothing to do with me. I am a gift to myself and to the Universe . I am a child of God. I do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything I am not. My beauty lies in me just as I am each moment. I will celebrate that.

I will take time to pause, reflect and rejoice in my accomplishments. For too long, I have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what I have done lest I will fall into the arrogance trap. Celebration is a high form of praise of gratitude to God. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Today, I will celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth of friends and family. I will continue to enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to me. I will celebrate all that is in my life and all that is good.

I will celebrate me.

I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” Says Robert Browning

Dear Luijoe,

It’s been 21 years . 21 years today…

· without seeing your impish smile,

· without receiving wild flowers with a note “I love you so very much, mama”

· without your gentle reminder to pray

· without your lectures on parenting

· without your crazy jokes

· without pinching your handsome cheeks

These are all vibrant memories now tucked in my heart, which I stitched back together.

Oh yes. the tears still stream down my cheeks just like today because I miss you terribly. Love never died, even if you are gone from my embrace. 21 years ago, I felt the world swallowed me up. I thought I could not live with the unbearable, gut-wrenching pain in my heart. At times, I thought I went crazy. I barely survived. I had to find that courage to live because your two sisters and dad needed me. That difficult journey left me literally with a broken heart but not too broken, because why did God give me a second wind in life to make a difference in this mortal world?.....