Being hurt by another Christian can be devastating, but the church is filled with imperfect people who do things they shouldn’t. As C.S. Lewis said, ‘God works on us in all sorts of ways…above all he works on us through each other.’ So before you give up and walk away, consider these suggestions: 1) Admit how much it hurt, and start to cope with it. Running away doesn’t achieve this. Humbly approach the person who hurt you, motivated to reconcile. Discuss your pain with the purpose of releasing it and moving on. 2) Ask, ‘What’s my role in this?’ If it had nothing to do with you, as in the case of a trusted leader who has fallen morally or legally, ask yourself if you put idealistic expectations on their humanness. Did you think they were perfect? Now that you realise they’re not, can you forgive them? 3) Ask God what to do next. He knows the motives in the hearts of the people involved. Give Him time to answer. 4) ‘Guard your heart…for it determines the course of your life’ (Proverbs 4:23 NLT). Choose to follow God, even when your heart breaks. He alone can decide motives and intents, and He is just and reasonable. But many times, our faithfulness must come first before His blessings flow. 5) If you still feel you must leave, promise yourself and God that you will leave well. Refuse to say anything bad. Don’t leave mad, and admit the good, no matter how small. Most important of all, don’t give up. God is good, His church is good, and people are flawed. Locate another house of worship, and commit to it with an open heart.

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.