Healing & Dealing

Hey listeners! It’s my 20th episode. It’s crazy to think that I have reached this huge milestone. 20 episodes, that's 20 weeks of giving you myself, sharing content with you, sharing all these beautiful people with you who have been guests on my podcast, sharing my family, sharing deep, intimate details of my life. So it's a huge deal to me. This is a double celebration because I am also celebrating one year of being alcohol-free. It still surprises me to think I have survived living without alcohol for a year. In this episode, I am going to reflect on my experiences with alcohol and how giving it up led to significant positive changes in my life, my childhood experiences, attachment styles, and the impact of my upbringing on my adult relationships, and the importance of self-love, healing, and embracing vulnerability to overcome past traumas and build meaningful connections with others. Additionally, I will share insights gained from my podcasting journey, highlighting the power of deep, meaningful conversations and the importance of authenticity and self-expression.

“There have been so many times where I've thought in the past that I won't ever get to the place that I want to be because of what I've been through. And that is just completely wrong. Now I understand that all of that that I've been through, is a motivator. And it's a catalyst for me to do bigger and better things. And I don't have to be a victim of the trauma I've been through, I don't have to play small and play into that part of just someone who's poor, someone who's on autopilot, someone who doesn't do any healing work, I don't have to stay in that. I've already grown so much, I've already conquered so much just in this short time of having the podcast that the sky's the limit. And it's not just the limit for me, it's the limit for everyone.”

In this episode, let’s delve into:

• Podcasting journey, alcohol-free milestone. 

• Starting a podcast, embracing a new identity as a podcaster. and overcoming perfectionism. 

• Divorce, co-parenting, blended families, and personal growth. 

• Quitting alcohol for improved mental and physical health. and healing through attachment styles. 

• Healing from childhood trauma and toxic relationships.

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The moment you get curious, you start questioning, then you start noticing the problem, that’s when you will be able to give up alcohol . With these little shifts, it can change everything. I am joined today by Becca Walkinshaw, a mindset coach and creator of be magnificent AF alcohol-free lifestyle design coaching for professional women. She will talk about how she overcame being alcoholic, her childhood trauma, and struggling with her identity. She also shares her journey to self-discovery and building her identity after quitting alcohol where she emphasizes the importance of visualizing your ideal self, free from alcohol, and how this helps you make choices that align with your values and goals.

“I would have friends and people would be like, you're so kind and you're so outgoing, you're so loving, you're so popular, like people love you. And I never knew it. I couldn't see it about myself because I was so in this world when I would be home, like my thoughts and was drinking and was in this really negative cycle with my boyfriend too. And so it was just really interesting, because I didn't know like, to the outside world, I was like this happy, fun, loving, kind person and then on the inside, I just had self doubt, I had shame, I was in these negative cycles.”- Becca Walkinshaw

Here are the key highlights:

• Teenage drinking and its impact on self-identity.

• Alcoholism, used as a coping mechanism for childhood trauma and volatility, struggling with identity conflict due to pregnancy.

• Quitting drinking and self-discovery. The value of having a coach in your journey towards alcohol freedom who can help you shift your perspective and beliefs

• Journaling practice, noting how it helps you release subconscious thoughts and shift your focus from darkness to empowerment.

• The importance of loving and appreciating past versions of themselves, even if they made mistakes or held onto negative patterns.

• The importance of self-love and creating a schedule that prioritizes personal growth and well-being.The speaker prioritizes one-on-one time with loved ones, working out, and setting boundaries to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

• Overcoming alcohol addiction through self-awareness and reprogramming and the importance of helping others and creating a safe space for sharing and growth.

Connect with Becca: 

Website: https://bemagnificentaf.com/

FB:https://www.facebook.com/becca.walkinshaw?mibextid=D4KYlr

Private FB Group: https://bit.ly/3d8hhGW

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You have to let go of everybody’s crap that they stored in your brain. Now that you are a grown adult, you have the freedom to reprogram yourself. There’s a great power in self-love and self-acceptance. In today’s episode, Paola Rosser joins me to talk about her journey from being in an abusive family growing up and an abusive ex-partner causing her trauma and leading her to her dark period to finding an unexpected love and achieving every single thing in her vision board. Paola describes her own healing journey, which included dealing with past trauma, paying off debt, and untangling deep-seated belief systems from her childhood. She emphasizes the importance of personal growth and healing. She will delve into the various healing methods she used to address her past trauma and emotional baggage. Also, the importance of reprogramming your brain to overcome negative thought patterns. Join us as we laugh and cry to her journey towards healing and dealing with her past trauma. 

“I never experienced unconditional love. It was as if you were putting oil into water. And that's what it's going to feel like when you're standing in front of the mirror looking at yourself and saying, I am beautiful. I am smart. I am capable, I am talented. I am deserving, I am worthy. I am enough. If you do that every single day at first is going to feel weird. I guarantee it. But after a while, it's going to start reprogramming your brain. Yeah. And what happens is when you start reprogramming your brain, our brains are these beautiful things that are emitting frequency all the time. And people don't understand that this is a frequency you're always emitting a frequency. If you start to become aware of people's frequencies. If you go into a local bar at like, one o'clock in the morning, just don't even drink, don't do anything. Just go in there and sit by yourself and feel the frequencies that are coming off of people. One o'clock in the morning, a local dive bar, you'll feel that they are at the lowest frequency.”- Paola Rosser

In this episode, we’ll breakdown:

• Emotional abuse and its long-term effects. 

• Toxic relationships, self-regulation, and personal growth. 

• Overcoming addiction and depression. 

• Journey to recovery after a traumatic event, including their use of a gratitude journal to shift their mindset and find positivity.

• Overcoming hardships and finding gratitude. 

• Manifesting through self-love and healing and how it all unfolded.

• Healing from childhood trauma and toxic relationships.

• Overcoming limiting beliefs and negative self-talk and reprogramming your brain to overcome negative thoughts. 

• Self-affirmations and their impact on mental health. 

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Welcome to the new episode of the Healing and Dealing Podcast. In this episode, Xiomara is joining me to talk about her life and her partner who decided to go alcohol-free back in February 2022. Xiomara shares how the alcohol impacted the dynamics of their relationship with her partner and her relationships with her friends and family. We will delve into the topic about the positive changes in their lives after being alcohol-free and the alcohol-free bachelorette party she organized. She will also talk about how the Euphoric Program helped her recognize the growth-oriented mindset needed for personal development and creating sober spaces and communities for others. Listen and be inspired by the transformative journey of Xiomara and her partner towards sobriety.

“I think we've definitely learned healthier coping mechanisms. So it's not about, you know, numbing your feelings anymore. It's about feeling your feelings and learning how to deal with the hard feelings in a healthy way, rather than numbing and turning to alcohol. So just to bounce off of that, yeah. But for me, my relationships, for the most part, have improved. I'm not going to say, you know, I think most people who go alcohol-free do have to deal with losing some relationships. You know, some of them for sure probably I was tolerating because I was drinking. And so when you quit drinking, especially like, early on, I really needed to be in healthy relationships. And I wasn't going to accept being mistreated anymore. And so there was like, one major relationship where I was like, I'm sorry, but I can't continue my relationship, essentially. And so that was a big one. And this was a pretty major family member. So that's been difficult. But again, it's kind of just like for your own peace of mind and mental health. And just, if it's getting to the point where I'm just like, so depressed from this person that I'm like, contemplating my own drinking habits, and like turning that then like, I can't have that person in my life.”-  Xiomara

The key highlights of this episode:

• Xiomara and Karolina's Decision: Xiomara and Karolina decided to go alcohol-free as a couple to improve their relationship and personal well-being.

• Past Alcohol-Related Issues: Alcohol had caused problems in their relationship in the past, including fights and confusion.

• Benefits of Being Alcohol-Free: Going alcohol-free had brought more peace, improved communication, and greater clarity to their relationship.

• Impact on Friendships: Their decision to go alcohol-free affected their friendships, with some improving and others fading away.

• Alcohol-Free Bachelorette Party: Xiomara organized an alcohol-free bachelorette party, fostering deeper connections among friends.

• Coping Strategies for ADHD: Xiomara shared her coping strategies for ADHD, including meditation, breathwork, mindfulness, and occasional caffeine consumption.

• The Euphoric Program: Xiomara expressed gratitude for the Euphoric program, which helped her develop a growth-oriented mindset and create sober spaces and communities.

• Podcast Recommendation: Charlotte recommended a podcast by Mel Robbins about adults with ADHD and their coping mechanisms.

Connect with Xiomara:

https://youralcoholfreejourney.com

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Welcome back to another episode of the Healing and Dealing Podcast. I am joined today by Becky Aste, a trauma-informed marriage coach. In this episode, Becky will share her personal journey and experiences in repairing a struggling marriage after years of research and various healing modalities. We will also delve into the importance of somatic work and nervous system regulation in healing and improving relationships, especially in the context of couples dealing with trauma and attachment issues. Any trauma can be repaired and healed if both individuals are dedicated to putting in the work. I am encouraging you to explore somatic work as a valuable tool for healing, improving relationships, and building a deep connection with oneself. 

“And so what the modern, especially Western psychology, mental health world people will say, If your marriage is not working go to therapy, go to couples counseling, read this book, listen to this podcast, I am a fan of all of those things, I'm not downing them. But if that's all, the only modalities that you're using, you're only working with 20% of the way that your body's designed. So you're gonna feel like a salmon swimming upstream. And you know, spend years spinning your wheels at best, or at worst, I see a lot of clients. And this was part of my journey too where you can end up getting re-traumatized, because of how much you're replaying the past and staying stuck. The body work, you know, somatic work, or nervous system regulation, those are kind of words to describe working with that 80% of natural flow messages. And so that's the suggestion, you know, the advice I give is just like, please learn how to get into the body and move trauma out because your body has kept the score of all the trauma that you've survived. And so that's where I would begin.”- Becky Aste

The key points of the episode:

• The importance of somatic work in dealing with trauma. Somatic work involves focusing on the body's responses and sensations to address emotional and psychological issues. It helps individuals move trauma out of their bodies and find a sense of safety and connection.

• Attachment Styles that played a significant role in the relationship dynamics. Becky mentioned that she identified with an anxious attachment style, while her husband exhibited traits of an avoidant attachment style. 

• Learning to reconnect with your intuition, trust yourself, and prioritize your well-being. 

• The conversation raises the question of whether couples who both have traumatic experiences can have a successful relationship. The answer suggests that healing and repair are possible if both partners are dedicated to doing the work.

• Somatic work and nervous system regulation are powerful tools for healing trauma. These approaches involve understanding and addressing how the body responds to trauma and stress.

• The importance of self-love and self-acceptance. Becky's breakthrough moment involved sincerely telling herself, "I love you," and believing it. This self-love journey positively impacted her self-esteem and relationship.

• The growing awareness and acceptance of somatic work as a powerful tool for healing and personal growth. They hope that it becomes more widely recognized and accessible.

FREE training: 3 Secrets to Thriving Intimacy

FREE Deep Dive Call with Becky: www.tinyurl.com/roottoriseapp

 www.idobreakthrough.com —> Just click the green toggling button “3 Secrets to Thriving Intimacy”

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Today’s episode of the Healing and Dealing Podcast is extra special because my son is joining me to share his experiences as a teenager and living in a blended family. We will discuss various aspects of our family dynamics, relationships, and personal experiences. We will also delve into my son's upbringing in a blended family, interactions with both his biological father and stepfather, his own personal growth and maturity, struggles he faced during his teenage years, and the challenges of navigating complex family relationships. This episode emphasizes the importance of communication, understanding, and acceptance within a blended family, while also touching on themes of personal growth, parental support, and the complexities of parenting through different life stages.

“I think the one thing a parent needs to know is just let your kid be who they want to be not what you want them to be, not what you like, fantasize about what your kid is going to be or something. Let them figure out what they want to do, be there for them and help them get to that place. And it's always gonna come back and better to the parent or to you. It's not going to resolve in a bad way. Like the kid is gonna respect you. And like all that, like, that's why I respect my dad so much. And I respect you guys.”-  Irie

Key takeaways from the conversation:

• The complexities of family dynamics, relationships, and blended families. 

• The challenges and growth involved in parenting and step-parenting. 

• Open communication and mutual understanding are identified as essential factors in maintaining healthy family relationships. 

• Adolescent development and the struggles teenagers face in understanding themselves and their place within the family. The son expresses how his perspectives on life, relationships, and priorities have evolved as he's matured.

• The challenges and growth associated with allowing the son to make his own decisions and carve out his identity while balancing parental guidance.

• The importance of respect in relationships, how someone treats you when they're angry or upset, and the idea that respect can be both earned and lost. 

• The negative aspects of seeking validation through social media, especially when people post content for attention and approval. 

• Allowing children to develop their own identities and aspirations, rather than trying to mold them into a predetermined ideal. Trust is a critical element in parent-child relationships.

Connect with Chalotte:

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In another episode of the Healing and Dealing Podcast, Kady Romagnuolo is joining me to share her life and what led her to building her beautiful empire for herself and the people surrounding her. Kady will share her journey from overcoming childhood trauma, anxiety, and self-doubt to building a successful business and finding fulfillment in life.  She also talks about her journey of self-discovery, stepping out of her comfort zone, and embracing her passion to create a successful career and life. The overall message of this episode revolves around self-discovery, personal growth, and the transformative power of sharing personal stories. We encourage listeners to overcome limiting beliefs, embrace your own stories, and recognize the potential impact you can have on yourself and others by sharing your experiences. 

“The moment in which you actually share those pieces that you feel that you couldn't, is when we start to make integration and resolution on them. And we get this outside perspective all of a sudden when we say it out loud like the first time I said I'm really struggling with anxiety to a stranger. And it felt really icky for me to say but the moment I did it started to transfer all of those old feelings outside of me, so that I could then make the connections I needed to meet the people I needed to. And it is part of the stepping stone to being on the other side where you feel like you can authentically share that story. And then you'll have another story of something else that you've gone through that I feel like I don't know if I can share that part of my story. Yes. And you'll move through that journey of finding a way to do it, because you know that it is going to make a difference for someone else. And because it is going to make a difference for you personally, in doing it as well.” - Kady Romagnuolo

This episode highlights the following key takeaways:

• Everyone's journey is unique. Overcoming childhood trauma, battling anxiety and depression, and facing challenges that hinder personal progress.

• The importance of pushing past fears and taking action, even when feeling nervous, is highlighted as a way to overcome limitations and unlock personal potential.

• Even accomplished individuals experience self-doubt. Overcoming these feelings involves recognizing them, reframing thoughts, and focusing on the excitement and growth that come from challenges.

• The concept of aligning with moon phases to navigate life and business; working with the natural cycles of the moon.

• The importance of discovering one's passion and purpose; explore what truly lights you up and pursue it with enthusiasm.

• The significance of building confidence by taking small steps, embracing discomfort, and giving yourself permission to rest. 

• Success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It's about finding what aligns with one's unique journey and passions. 

• The power of storytelling and vulnerability. It can inspire others who may be going through similar experiences and can contribute to personal healing and growth.

• Sharing personal stories can lead to healing by providing an opportunity for integration and resolution of past experiences.

Connect with Charlotte:

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Joining us in today’s episode of Healing and Dealing podcast is Tammy Ward, a life coach, personal development coach and a transformation and spiritual coach. She will share her journey towards personal growth, self-discovery and energy management. In this conversation, we will highlight the importance of moving away from a victim mentality and embracing empowerment by reframing one's perspective on past traumas and challenges. This episode will emphasize the significance of self-love, self-care, and inner healing as key components of personal development. We will also touch  on the practice of being present in the moment, releasing attachments to negative energies, and actively choosing how to respond to life's circumstances. Additionally, the conversation underscores the significance of playful and positive self-interactions, acknowledging the impact of external energies on one's emotional state, and provides strategies for maintaining a balanced energy field. Overall, the conversation encourages self-awareness, mindfulness, and adopting practices that facilitate emotional and spiritual growth.

“Everyone is different, as a personal development, as a transformation and spiritual development Coach, I would definitely say the first thing is to understand, do I still want to be a victim? So first and foremost, you need to ask yourself, Am I a victim? Do I still want to be a victim. And if you really can get into those questions, you can really understand where you're putting your energy, because everything is energy. So even though situations are energy, and if you keep attached to them, they're going to stay with you. And so meditation would be good, as you know, a meditative state of going back. So a lot of times you can have a journey, what we call it, and that shaman practitioner world is having a journey or daydream, whichever one, you want to call it, people call it a different thing. And you go back to that memory, you just go back to that memory and you allow yourself that power in that moment. So maybe you are too young to speak up for yourself or maybe you are too young to fight back. You know, it's about taking that moment and not creating anger, but create a space of like, you no longer affect me. Your words, your fist, your energy no longer affects me. And once you make that choice, that it doesn't affect you, then you can move on, you can then begin to see the power that lives within.” -Tammy Ward

The key takeaways from this episode:

• Tammy Ward's mantra is to embrace life boldly and guide others to do the same. 

• The process of transitioning from a victim mentality to an empowered perspective by releasing attachment to past traumas and reframing their experiences.

• The significance of mindfulness and being present in the moment, the value of being fully engaged in each moment and making conscious choices.

• The practice of positive self-talk and self-love is emphasized. Tammy encourages starting the day with affirmations like "I love you" and "Thank you." This practice promotes a positive mindset and fosters a healthy relationship with oneself.

• Tammy's journey from a 24-year military career to becoming a life coach and healer demonstrates the transformative power of healing and personal growth. 

• External factors, such as conflicts with family members like their mother, can greatly impact their energy. They describe an incident when a conflict with their mother resulted in a sudden drop in their energy and a flood of negative thoughts.

• The importance of self-awareness and self-questioning during times of emotional shifts. They mention questioning why they are feeling a certain way and how understanding the "how" of dealing with negative emotions can be more helpful than fixating on the "why."

Connect with Tammy:

https://coach-tammy.com/

This new episode of Healing and Dealing podcast will center around the idea that embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle can lead to self-empowerment, the discovery of one's purpose, and the ability to create a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Karolina Rzadkowolska, an alcohol free empowerment expert who helps intuitive women ditch alcohol and discover their greater purpose, the author of Euphoric Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier More Confident You, joins us today to share her valuable insight about her  journey of self-discovery, self-love, and empowerment that comes from choosing to live without alcohol. She also shares the impact of overcoming limiting beliefs and building confidence in your personal growth and the role of alcohol in one’s life. Listen to  this episode and be inspired to break free from your limiting beliefs and discover new opportunities and create a life filled with purpose and intention.

“I’m such an introvert, very shy growing up. So I really relied on alcohol to bring out that confidence. And it was such a limiting belief, alcohol never made me more confident was only deteriorating my self esteem over time and making me more insecure. But also finding that that's a state that I cultivate within through competence, through practice through building up that skill. And every time I outsourced it to alcohol, I was telling myself Karolina you're not good enough, you're not interesting, nobody wants to talk to you. But here drink this drink. And then you'll be better, you know, and how, like, how deteriorating that really can be for like a young woman's confidence for sure.” - Karolina Rzadkowolska

This episode emphasizes: 

• The importance of showing self-love by taking care of one's future self, a way to rebuild trust and respect for yourself.

• How alcohol can be associated with certain limiting beliefs, such as the need for alcohol to relax, socialize, or cope, challenging and debunking these beliefs can lead to greater freedom and empowerment.

• Becoming alcohol-free can lead to increased confidence, courage, and the ability to chase one's goals.

• Overcoming imposter syndrome, the tendency to feel inadequate despite accomplishments, one doesn't need to be an expert to make a positive impact and encourages taking action even when feeling uncertain.

• The relationship between confidence and competence: emphasizing that confidence grows through practice and learning.

• The importance of starting the day with a positive and mindful routine to shape mindset is discussed.

Grab your two weeks alcohol-free guide and other goodies: www.chrissyjaniga.com

Join her supportive Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/762299075622796/

Chrissy’s children’s book, Miranda Learns the Art of Not Fitting in: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C55SST4F

Welcome to the new episode of the Healing and Dealing podcast. Becoming alcohol-free, newfound creativity, vacations without drinking, and reflections about Mommy Wine Culture, those are the topics we will be talking about today with the author of a children’s book entitled  Miranda Learns the Art of Not Fitting In, Chrissy Janiga. Chrissy bravely shares her story of overcoming alcohol addiction while navigating through the challenges of motherhood.The conversation lands on the discussion about the impact of alcohol on parenting, their experiences with personal growth and development, and their plans to coach and support others on their journey to live alcohol-free. Chrissy's inspiring journey reminds us of the importance of self-discovery and making positive changes in our lives. And the importance of authenticity, self-awareness, personal growth, and the power of supportive relationships in pursuing a fulfilling and meaningful life.

“So I think that this trip solidified it for me and just everything I'm doing, that I'm on the right track. No, I don't want to drink again. And I say it much more proudly, confidently now. In the beginning, it wasn't. One, because I didn't know I was a little bit ambivalent. But also, even when I stopped drinking, I still was a little concerned about what people would think. Now I don't care. This is who I am. And I'm happier this way. So, it took me a little bit of time. And I think that the beautiful part of all this, it doesn't have to be this perfect story. And you can kind of choose how you want to do it. But I think that, you know, my advice is when we listen to ourselves, when we, on repeat, say we want to change this thing we think about it over and over and over again. Put some action to it. You don't have to know how everything's gonna turn out. Just gonna start doing it at some point.” - Chrissy Janiga

Interesting points in this episode:

• Where did it all start for you? The biggest thing that she really has to highlight is that when you give the alcohol, a lot of people do feel better, but that doesn't mean they stop working on the things they need to work on.

• Mindset shifts and alcohol. You don't have to be miserable to want to change your relationship with alcohol. It's just about being more aware of the relationship with it.

• Getting to know yourself again. How removing the alcohol showed her what she actually likes to do and what she doesn't like to do.

• The problem with mommy wine culture. Women are like walking billboards for big alcohol. Mommy wine culture is similar to cigarette culture and cigarette history.

• Dealing with rejection from close friends. 

• The importance of feminism and alcohol. 

• How to talk to your kids about alcohol? There is a really good podcast on this naked mind called how to talk to your kids about alcohol. It is age-appropriate and helpful for people who have made bad choices while drinking in front of their kids.

• How to put action to your intuition? Put some action to it. You don't have to know how everything's going to turn out, just start doing it at some point. The universe starts really working with you instead of against you.

Grab your two weeks alcohol-free guide and other goodies: www.chrissyjaniga.com

Join her supportive Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/762299075622796/

Chrissy’s children’s book, Miranda Learns the Art of Not Fitting in: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C55SST4F