Coaching, critical to my success in life, art, politics, advocacy. Still need to do my own work & make choices. Listen to a session with one of my coaches, Jan Oldenburg.
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Episode Notes
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Find FULL TRANSCRIPT at the end of the other show notes or download the printable transcript here
Contents with Time-Stamped Headings
to listen where you want to listen or read where you want to read (heading. time on podcast xx:xx. page # on the transcript)
Proem.. 1
The start of a business relationship 03:19. 2
Managing the swirl of me 05:50. 2
Coaching as a parent of a teen 07:21. 3
Advice, reflection, self-reflection, shades of grey 09:56. 3
First, build trust 11:02. 3
New position, new relationships, new levers 12:51. 4
Measurable outcomes of a strategic plan 16:24. 4
Changing roles at PCORI 17:02. 5
Vanilla management training. No nuts 20:08. 5
Clarifying personal mission, priorities, goals 24:26. 6
Staying in touch with, leveraging, advancing my constituency 26:27. 6
Capable of a delicate balance? 29:22. 7
Rare Disease as an inequity 30:15. 7
Keeping a pulse on Board effectiveness 32:23. 7
Leadership role on the Board 34:00. 8
The rest of my life 39:11. 9
Reflection 45:42. 10
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Credits
The views and opinions presented in this podcast and publication are solely the responsibility of the author, Danny van Leeuwen, and do not necessarily represent the views of the Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Institute® (PCORI®), its Board of Governors or Methodology Committee.
Music by permission from Joey van Leeuwen, Drummer, Composer, Arranger
Web and Social Media Coach Kayla Nelson @lifeoflesion
Rumours of Light image used by permission from Sue Heatherington @theWaterside Quiet Disruptors
Inspired by and grateful to: Christine Goertz, Sharon Levine, Nakela Cook, Mike Herndon, Tanisha Carino, Kara Ayers, Connie Hwang, Luc Pelletier, Caryl Carpenter, Dorothy Cucinelli, Peter Tetrault, Tim Sullivan, Cynthia Meyer
Sponsored by Abridge
Links
Related podcasts and blogs
https://health-hats.com/pod141/
https://health-hats.com/chiropractic-operating-at-peak-performance/
https://health-hats.com/retirement-micro-stepping-with-mini-goals/
About the Show
Welcome to Health Hats, learning on the journey toward best health. I am Danny van Leeuwen, a two-legged, old, cisgender, white man with privilege, living in a food oasis, who can afford many hats and knows a little about a lot of healthcare and a lot about very little. Most people wear hats one at a time, but I wear them all at once. We will listen and learn about what it takes to adjust to life's realities in the awesome circus of healthcare. Let's make some sense of all this.
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The Show
Proem
Want to be a fly on the wall of a year-end session with my professional coach, Jan Oldenburg? You can hear the good, the bad, and the ugly of my process to hone and strategize my professional and personal work. Why would I share a coaching session? Is this TMI (Too much information) too private? Does it make me vulnerable? In last week’s podcast, Matthew Hudson emphasized that you reveal something about yourself with the questions you ask, the problems you try to solve. Frankly, I am a bit anxious about sharing this, but you already know that I have little guile. I wear my life on my sleeve. I try not to say stuff I wouldn't want on a billboard, but I’m not perfect at that. I reveal this session so you might sense how important coaching can be anytime in your life. Early in a career, as a leader, in health, art. I've been fortunate to have many coaches over the years, some paid, some pro-bono. Here are a few: Lynn Hubbard, Caryl Carpenter, Luc Pelletier, Dorothy Cuccinelli, Tim Sullivan, Peter Tetrault, and my current coaches, Jan Oldenburg, Jeff Harrington, and Kayla Nelson. As you’ll hear in the conversation with Jan, the output of coaching is up to me. I need to do the work. The choices are mine. This session is audio and video recorded with a transcript. You can find the video of this episode on YouTube with links on my website show notes. By the way, I thought this would be the least edited episode I’ve ever produced. True for the audio and video, not so much for the transcript.
The start of a business relationship
Danny van Leeuwen: Jan Oldenburg, you know that I love you.
Jan Oldenburg: I love you, too, Danny.
Danny van Leeuwen: I appreciate our relationship as it's developed over the years. At first, we were human curious, and then we started doing projects, sat on teams together, provided counsel to each other, and strategized in several different forums. It was always rich. When I was appointed to be on the PCORI Board of Governors, I was both full of myself enough and smart enough to know that I was the right person to be selected. I'm good at what I do. There was no way I would reach my potential without help and regular counsel. I immediately thought of you.
Jan Oldenburg: I'm honored.
Danny van Leeuwen: Thank you. So, we developed, and I insisted that you were very generous and excited and would have done this work pro bono for me, with me. I insisted that we have a business relationship. Part of that is because you got to walk the talk. We insist that people need to be paid for their work. And then there was another not so noble motivation: people with whom you have a business relationship will naturally be more responsive because they have a business relationship. I wanted that. So, we've met over fifteen months, pretty much monthly. And for me, I think the most important thing that's happened is recognizing that I needed a filter between my brain and my mouth.
Jan Oldenburg: I have that problem, too, actually. So, I really understand that.
Managing the swirl of me
Danny van Leeuwen: It's good to say, okay, wait a minute, before I go off half-cocked, let's just chew on this with somebody else, with Jan and clarify, clean it up, focus. Yeah. And so that's good. And then I think it's bringing all of the various threads that I'm involved in. So, just as I am not multiple sclerosis, I am not PCORI board. I am Danny van Leeuwen, and I have my fingers in many pies and am working on lining that stuff up with life pace. How much energy do I want to be putting out in total, in what buckets and what issues, and balancing all that? So, that's my introduction. What I'd like to do here are two things. I would like to give you a chance to just talk about coaching and your feelings, approaches, and philosophy, and if you want to apply any of that, you can say anything - the good, bad, and the ugly about me is fine. And then let’s do a year in review.
Coaching as a parent of a teen
Jan Oldenburg: Perfect. Coaching is an interesting role for me. I hope this won't offend you, but I think this applies whether it's coaching you or coaching my adult children. One of the things that has been a critical lesson for me in building a relationship with my adult children is figuring out that they don't want me to fix their problems. They want me to be a sounding board. And whatever advice I am trying to give them, it's not the point of the exercise. The point is about helping them figure out what they want to do, their instincts, and where they want to go. I bring that, frankly, hard-won lesson, and they will tell you; I still struggle with it. But that's one of the things I've tried to bring into this relationship that this isn't about it. If I'm doing the job well, it's not about collaborating to solve the problem. It's really about my being an echo and a witness and a sounding board for you to figure out where you want to go. And that's not the easiest part of it for me, quite honestly. Cause I also like to solve the same kinds of problems. But it has been wonderful for me to be able to watch you. And frankly, your focus and resilience in approaching who and what Danny is at this moment in time. And his roles and, if anything, helping you to hone that a little bit more or tune it up, or think about the ways, what you really want to accomplish in each of these forums and how you can best accomplish that. And I hope that's how it's felt to you.
Advice, reflection, self-reflection, shades of grey
Danny van Leeuwen: Yeah. It does. I think that being a reflection is important. So, hearing back, you do a lot of, ‘this is what I'm hearing you say,’ Sometimes it sounds right. And sometimes it doesn't. I do like your opinions or advice, ‘if it were me, I would do, I might do this.’ I find that helpful. I, in no way, feel like that's okay, then I'm going to do it. Cause I'm just not like that. I think we are people who are not black and white. We are people with many grays, and that gray is in and of itself gray has so many tones, and it's where to try next.
First, build trust
Danny van Leeuwen: I feel like another thing that happens is the follow-up of okay, what did we start with? We started with trust, building trust with my new colleagues. I was in a new role....