Hello Dysfunction

Happy Mother’s Day, warm weather is upon us, Pata Fria is being responsible. Everybody doesn’t need kids, go thru your family’s texts, Crystal loves vibrating beds. 

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

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A day late and a dollar short. Crystal is missing her foster puppy and Pata Fria had a rollercoaster of a week. Beware of ticks, scabies and Californians may have an accent. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

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Crystal has vertigo and a close relationship with AAA. Covid is still here, Rest In Peace CY. Pata Fria is liking her meds but being around people is still rough. Noise bothers you more when you get older, be careful with life coaches. 

This week’s tv recommendations are:
• Insecure (HBO) 
• I Care A Lot (Netflix) again lol 
• The Family I Had (Amazon) 
• Exterminate All The Brutes (HBO)

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

We had some technical difficulties recording this episode, bear with us. Pata Fria is planning another surgery, Crystal had a run in with the cops. Bra shopping isn’t a good time and don’t hoard your Meals On Wheels containers! 

This weeks tv recommendations are:
• 2020 (Hulu) The Chameleon and Tangled Web episodes
• Them (Amazon prime)
• The Lie (Amazon prime) 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal’s favorite store is gone, Billy is at it again, don’t see clients in Discovery Bay and monitor your kid’s porn searches. Happy Birthday Mark and Pata Fria’s dreams are still outta control. 

This week’s tv recommendations are: 
Koncrete podcast’s YouTube episode featuring Mark Laita of Soft White Underbelly. 

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories/birthdays at: [email protected] 

April Fools, Easter and making sure everyone showers. Crystal is still betraying Pata Fria in her dreams and both are fully vaccinated. Don’t rush your happiness, 30s are when the REAL fun starts and we’ve never regretted breaking up with anyone. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

The hot weather is not appreciated, Crystal is BACK in FB jail, Sharon Osbourne is shit, Chet Hanks is embarrassing. The universe is hella funny sometimes, spirits are acting up, let us keep our body parts and now we know how Natalia really feels. 

This week’s tv recommendations are: 
• Q: Into The Storm (HBO)
• Seaspiracy (Netflix) 
• Beauties of The Night (Netflix) 
• Tina (HBO) 
• The Shining (HBO) 

This week’s podcast recommendations are:
• Radical Musings with Rosanna Arquette!

Check out this week’s sponsors! • CD Universe 
Explore their huge selection of assorted sex toys for yourself or to enjoy with a partner! 
Limitless assortment for every interest and curiosity. 
cduniverse.com 

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal nearly dislocated her shoulder, Pata Fria’s dysfunctional trip to the snow, Billy loves Elvis, onlygrans, watch your mouth on the phone and keep it cute on clubhouse. 

This week’s podcast recommendations are:

• Radical Musings with Rosanna Arquette!
• Sword and Scale episodes 177, 178, and 180.

Check out this week’s sponsors! 

• Hella Infused 
High quality handmade CBD infused products. 
Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and free shipping to our listeners. In addition, all proceeds will be donated to Instagram.com/sisters_helping_hands_ fund to feed the homeless. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction1 at checkout. 
hellainfused.com 
IG: Instagram.com/hella_infused

• CD Universe 
Explore their huge selection of assorted sex toys for yourself or to enjoy with a partner! 
Limitless assortment for every interest and curiosity. 
cduniverse.com 

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Nostalgic cravings, an old dumb monarchy, there’s always gold in the comments. Sharon Osbourne is gross, we love positive examples of sex workers, virginity is a societal construct. 

This week’s podcast recommendation is Radical Musings with Rosanna Arquette! 

Check out this week’s sponsors! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

• Hella Infused 
High quality handmade CBD infused products. 
Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and free shipping to our listeners. In addition, all proceeds will be donated to @sisters_helping_hands fund to feed the homeless. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. 
hellainfused.com 
IG: @hella_infused

• CD Universe 
Explore their huge selection of assorted sex toys for yourself or to enjoy with a partner! 
Limitless assortment for every interest and curiosity. 
cduniverse.com 

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal is emotional, Pata Fria is not Italian. Stretch your butthole. Post our dead pics. How to hire a hooker and mosquito-eaters are harmless. 

This week’s tv recommendations are: 
•Meghan Harry Oprah interview (PBS)
• Bliss (Prime) 
• Biggie doc (Netflix) 
•Pretend It’s A City (Netflix) 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

Hella Infused 
Highly recommended handmade CBD infused products. 
Black woman owned/local/independent business! 
www.hellainfused.com 
IG: @hella_infused

The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 
1-888-634-1123

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]