Hello Dysfunction

Crystals cat is acting like Pata Fria, assume everyone has home surveillance, keep your pets out of your webcam scenes and always support those that support you. Valentine’s tees are a huge hit, no more butter before bed and radio dedications are signs of a good friend.


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  Crystal saves a cat through osmosis, Pata Fria ponders getting a shock collar for Dottie. Water your hot pockets and wash your ass. Some fun fan questions, a Dom story with a pro golfer and Crystal’ s early wrestling career.

The weekend recap, family drama, McDonald’s soda secrets, pass on the Grammy’s, be on time aka early, practice code switching and let’s all be smart with our money. 
Enjoy xo

IKEA sucks, Crystal hates January. Pata Fria searches for a dead body and dentures are really common. Read a book, watch the Aaron Hernandez doc and don’t wear nazi costumes.

Enjoy xo  www.Instagram.com/Hellodysfunctionwww.facebook.com/HelloDysfunctionwww.Twitter.com/dysfunctionShow

Crystal has another sinus infection and Pata Fria’s energy bill has skyrocketed. We need multiple streams of income so try everything, even singing about cats. Don’t shame people for working regular jobs, don’t be a house pirate. Donate your organs and check your pets for wetness. 

Enjoy xo
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The first episode of 2020 is here with more vagina talk, explore the possibilities of lube, teach your kids to properly prank each other, never trust a leather kilt, follow the rules of the internet, keep your brains hydrated, some interesting beauty procedures and ear maintenance
Enjoy xo  

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It’s the end of a decade and this week we have the amazing Lil Debbie joining us. Holiday recap, tips on successful gift giving, cats are thieves, New Years traditions from around the globe, don’t cheat during monopoly, baby jousting, and our favorite white trash delicacies. 
Happy New Year!!

Crazy Xmas shopping and delivery delays, Crystal celebrates 14yrs w Mark, internet matchmaking, did Pata Fria finally cure her rash, cancel culture, trust your intuition, delicate familial subjects, save your skin after you die, and did a sweat shop make your outfit? 
Enjoy 

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Rainy days, kids know when you’re gay, celebrity tension, ‘tis the season for kindness, culture vultures, Crystal’s Animal Rescue is still in business, don’t share contact lenses and be nice to strangers that text you. 
Enjoy xo

Live show recap, Billy was a joy, Apple is glitching our phones, kids shouldn’t give haircuts, foreplay is mandatory, possible potato crisis, signing up for Better Help, listener questions, I probably won’t let an animal get raped. 
Enjoy xo

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