Hello Dysfunction

Our brains are getting bored and we’re all dreamers. Home school is stressful. Health over capitalism. Must see show/film recommendations. Frankenstein is freezing and it’s a shitty time for a money scam. Crystal takes us down a dark path about cleanliness and if you don’t want to barter w your landlord don't ruin it for everyone else. 
Enjoy.

Same old shit, different day. Crystal and Pata Fria handled a joint dog catching assignment. Happy Birthday to Crystal’s mom Charlene. Pata Fria is doing a new form of charity work. Don’t expect Crystal to change her cleaning routine. Be careful how you speak to/in front of your kids. No show can really top The Office and Trump is ready to colonize other planets. 
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Lonely days, disturbing dreams, some family dysfunction, sassy tones and lots of tv 

xo

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Keeping in touch with you guys during the social distancing. This week we discuss lucid dreams, a new baby, ridiculous dads, investigating your partner, tiger king and the inability to get motivated lately may not be your fault... 

Week 2 of quarantine is upon us, some ideas for making use of your time at home, companies extending some free offers to the community, don’t let johns take advantage. Crystal is back to normal and discovered an interesting new way to show off your pets. 
Enjoy xo

Corona Virus is bullying us all, book vs film. Don’t get scammed on the internet, penis injections are a thing and Pata Fria has added a new service to her menu. Stay calm and safe in the house... We’re all in this together.

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This week Crystal is starting a water challenge while growing closer to her adopted raccoon. Pata Fria revisits the importance of credit and making money on social media. Porn Hub is in hot water, celebrity sex offenders receive some justice and the corona virus might be scarier than we thought. 
Enjoy xo

Mercury is in retrograde and everyone is feeling it. Don’t worry about the Corona virus, strange news, ppl are cat fishing and women’s bodies really have it rough. 
Enjoy xo.

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Financial literacy is important as are cameras surrounding your house. Dog bites suck, 90s beauty products were great and Pata Fria made Crystal litter. Do a credit check on your future partners and don’t ask how much someone paid for their kids. 

Enjoy xo

Ep.68.   V Day recap, it’s time to restructure The Bakers Act, we love dating shows and Robert Lee Noye is a hero.  Domestic violence is serious, don’t bomb the wrong house, you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Enjoy xo

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