Hello Dysfunction

We’re back!
Hospital nightmares, no skin checks, vaginas do bleach panties. Monitor your kid’s zoom messages and don’t scream in the bank. Ratched is this week’s tv recommendation.

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BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

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Our new baby is here!! 
The rough ride is finally over, Crystal is healing with a frustrating new side effect, please wash yourself thoroughly before receiving a service.  We can’t hang out with problematic celebrities and as a rule, let’s continue learning and becoming a better you every year. 
Queen & Slim is this week’s tv recommendation.  

Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Today’s the big day! 
Taco Bell KEEPS breaking our heart, Crystal is experiencing some interesting nasal changes, we share secrets on this podcast. Celebrity disappointments, the fires are consuming A LOT, please don’t ejaculate your pets. 
This week’s tv recommendations are The King of Staten Island and Married At First Sight. 

Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal updates us on her surgery while Pata Fria prepares for hers. Family drama, lots of bullsh*tting on OF, an injured testicle. A funny work story, a listener write-in, and you’ll never look at butter knives the same. 
This week’s tv recommendations are In The Dark, 1BR, Married At First Sight, Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes. 

Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal is nervous about surgery and guys are really gross. Our air quality is awful and depression is on the rise. Kittens are available! vaginas weren't made for men and please use extreme care when introducing step-parents into your family. I May Destroy You, Perry Mason and The Rain are this week's tv suggestions. Stay safe and don't forget to subscribe!

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Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

This week we’re celebrating Crystal’s birthday, playing matchmaker and calling out bullshit. Unexpected places to blow off steam, listener write-ins and probably the worst birthing story you’ve ever heard. Stay cool, stay safe and subscribe xo

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Waking up to some bad news, Crystal is Snow White in her dreams and don't ever question what someone else is purchasing. Fruit cocktail is tied to some uncomfortable memories, new paranormal things are happening and micro penises are more common than you think. 

Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal is dressed like The Ultimate Warrior, Pata Fria is having contractions. Wear clean underwear for your medical procedures. Don’t have strangers text your kids, if you want Dottie or Crystal’s attention use cheese. Pregnancy really causes some unexpected surprises and body modifications have reached shocking new levels. 

Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Welcome back...some babies have arrived, court went well, cats cast spells, watch out for things sucking your feet! Check expiration dates everywhere, don’t joke about anyone’s trauma, utilize social media now more than ever and bring back products from the 80s! 


Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

We’re back with a bang and good news from our doctors! Crystal had a long visit inside a small chamber, spiders can’t be trusted, keep your kids close but give your doggies some space. Try new meats and always be aware of your surroundings. Some difficult news and code switching isn’t a good thing after all. Are re-born dolls doing more harm than good? 

Enjoy xo