Helping Challenging Children

There has been a great deal of talk about how this pandemic is affecting the mental health of those who already struggle with mental health disorders. But it is and will have effects on our children, who don't have the developed frontal and prefrontal lobes to logically process the situation and make future plans.  They need us for this. But how are we doing?

Listen to this episode and think about what signs of long term stress which can make you more vulnerable are also being seeing in kids. Let's work to keep the number who develop PTSD down as low as possible.

Before the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act there was the Education for All Handicapped Children Act (EHA) from 1975 to 1990. This was enacted while I was in college, which is why I never really had exposure to students with disabilities, especially Down's Syndrome. I have spent my career working with students with all abilities and difficulties but have felt more of a need to advocate for children with Down's Syndrome because they are an endangered segment of our society. Even today there is a push internationally for abortion if a mother is carrying a fetus found to have Trisomy 21. 

I want to take a moment to celebrate all the achievements these children have given us. Let's not continue to discriminate against them from inception onward, but work to help them show us all that they have to offer. And they have a great deal to offer.

These are scary times for all of us. We are unsure of our economic future and our physical and mental health due to the pandemic. As adults we are struggling to remain calm, to use logic to counter the fears that run rampant through our minds.

Our children are also struggling, and are many times more fearful because they don't have the maturity of our brains and the experiences where things have gone wrong but later got back to normal, or a new normal. They reach out to us to provide the sense of safety that we will all get through this.

But some of what they need is physical contact, hugs, snuggles, a loving touch, sharing your bed at night, which is the scariest time of all. We need to be here for them, and realize that if we have been practicing physical distancing from others we and our kids can safely get physically closer. That sharing of physical closeness can help us all, so don't be afraid to share with your kids.

Right about now many families are getting very tired of being in close quarters with their children. Many things are getting on the parents nerves, especially actions which their children are doing which feel like intentional behavioral actions.

But, this may be a good time to sit back and observe as a scientist would, to objectively watch as the child goes about his activities, or as you try to get him to do some school work. As your child works, do these behaviors begin to show up, despite your child looking like he is still focusing on the task at hand?

Learn more about motor movement problems and tics, so that you can be supportive of your child if indeed you find that these motor movements are not intentional, but rather, neurologic.

Fears and phobias are very common in children due to the fact that their brain is managed by the limbic system and that they have had very few life experiences to help them cope with the novel or unknown.

Learn about how to help children with fear and phobias so that they can have better days.

Anxiety disorders are not a grown up disorder. They actually begin in childhood with 4-20% having a diagnosed disorder, depending on which disorders are being looked at. There is also an equal number who don't make it to the disorder level, but still struggle with anxiety in different situations.

Learn how to help these children so that they have more skills as they get older and may not be as at risk for grown-up anxiety disorders.

Over my 30+ years of working with challenging children, I have experienced a number of situations where my "challenging child" was seen as the bully, when in reality it was the other child who set up the situation in order to get my child in trouble. 

Check out this episode to learn how to help challenging children who feel like they have limited options on how to respond to other children picking on them.

Cabin fever comes quickly to children who are temperamentally high activity level or who have been diagnosed with ADHD. They have rapid increases in internal energy which must come out before they - and you - explode.

Here are a few ideas of how you can help your child.

When evaluating children for problems, parents and teachers are often asked to fill out questionnaires and checklists. These can be very valuable, but checklists may not give the entire answer due to the nature of the statements which the adults are asked to agree or disagree with.

When looking at children it is important to look at the 3 components that make them up; 

• temperament
• biology (or neurodevelopmental disorders)
• environment (how their world affects their development and behavior)

Check out this episode to learn more.

You can also learn more about these 3 components of children through my mini-course, Never Assume: Knowing Children Before Labeling Them which can be purchased at https://www.helpingchallengingchildren.online/offers/Baep8fG2/checkout

When we talk to children we expect them to be able to understand and hold on to the total of the information which we are sharing with them. With one child in six, however, who have neurodevelopmental disorders, this is often not the case.

If you want your child to be successful at responding or reacting to what you are saying, you need to understand how to communicate effectively with him. Learn more with this episode.