Her Career Ladder

Michele:
Hello, everybody, thank you so much for joining me today. We have a special special guest with us. We have Theola Debose. She is going to be one of the speakers at the women of color insome virtual summit this year where the topic the theme is the power of you. Not me but you back. Exactly. Viola, can you let tell everybody a little bit about yourself?
Theola:
Yes, thank you, Michelle. Thank you to everyone. I'm so honored to be a guest this year and a speaker. I've spending the past few days really struggling with an air table spreadsheet. So I feel extra honored to be speaking to folks who are leaders in STEM. And hopefully I can get some tips from you all as well from your powerful cells. I am Theola and I spent a long time as a journalist and I made a career change working in education which where I actually fell in love with spreadsheets and data, and then eventually went on to work in the Obama administration, leading the National Endowment for the Humanities with their communications. The theme through all of that is the power of storytelling. Hello, Kathy. Hello Tawana. Thank you for joining us live here. Beautiful. And storytelling is something that is not just for writers or for authors, all of us are storytellers, all of us every single interaction that you have either adds to your story or subtracts to your story. So what I do now as the founder of J skills is that I use technology and storytelling to help career changers leverage up and then change their careers and so much about your career involves storytelling. So I'm super excited to dig into this topic with all of you today.
Michele:
Okay, you just made me feel very like, I'm an engineer, I tell stories. How do I know I do. You know, at least when I was in corporate, I dealt with numbers that it looks like there's always a story numbers like either you're late. You're on time, you're early, or you're over budget, on budget, or above. And I guess there is a story behind that. So can so so let's back up a little bit. Now, earlier in your career. You learned storytelling. So what was that like early in your career? Learning that aspect?
Theola:
Yeah. I learned it first, as someone who did a lot of very intentional listening, the job as a journalist, there are lots of different kinds of writers. But as a journalist, you you depend on other people to give you your information for you to write about, I can't make it up. So I had to listen to people. And I would be listening. And I would say, even you would say, Hi, I am Michele Heyward. And I would say, Michelle, is that one L or two? Right? Because I'm listening to you. And then I'm thinking about a question. And so the first way that I learned to tell stories was to listen. And the way that you can apply that to yourself is that a lot of times people will say, Well, I don't have a story, or I don't tell stories. And that's because you haven't even listened to yourself. Right? You haven't actually step back to say, who am I? What do I believe in more than anything? Right? What is it that gets me up in the morning? There's a reason why you chose the kind of work that you do. And where I see a lot of people struggle is they'll say, Well, I am in sales, and I want to break into tech. And I say, Okay, that sounds great. Why do you want to do that? Right? Oh, well, I just like technology. Why do you like it, then it turns out that they've always, you know, maybe somebody in their family was able to, you know, use a computer and that was instrumental in their education. And so they got curious about the computer and that is never followed up on that. So that's why they love technology. So that's why they want to break it. And that doesn't mean that you have to tell the whole story all the time, but you have to know that Story to then be able to actually pick and choose. How does this motivate me? How does this play into my career
Michele:
that will say too often we do not listen? We're thinking about what we're going to say next. And I've gotten better at listening. I don't know if it's because I'm in business now, as opposed to, I know what the next question is going to be. I know, I didn't say that, right? I'm actually listening to what the person saying, because I'm trying to see what their problem is, for me, still an Engineer mode. And if I'm the person to help them solve it, or if I can connect them with somebody who can. So I can say, I've gotten better at listening and like you said, is it Michelle, or one or two L? And those people that those rare people that asked me that? I like, how Where did that come from, like, oh, I have a sister or cousin. Or My name is Michael and I get confused to when people write my name down. And so I learned to listen like it I, I got to the point where I understood that people weren't going to listen. So I don't even tell people my name, I just spell it for, because they will automatically spell it Michelle with two L's, and they're going to spell my name wrong. So it and that's how I started, like, people don't know this. And it's like, well, you don't either.
Theola:
So yeah, it's powerful. It's such a powerful thing. I don't mean to speak over you. Um, so I was the person interviewing other people. I was interviewed a couple of times. And one time, there was a story written about me. And it was crazy, because the journalist, just listened to me talk for about, like, three hours, right? And after that was done, I said, Man, I was about to tell him everything, right? Because listening is so powerful. Like, I came home, and it was like, pick up these clothes. And my kids were like, whatever. I'm like, see, nobody listens. Right? Like, it's so powerful. And if that's something that you can take away, for your career, is just listening. So someone's talking, and you listen, and then pause, and then ask them a question based on what they said, Oh, my gosh, I mean, I have had full conversations where I've said nothing, except ask the person questions. And then they say, Oh, it's so great talking to you. Okay, sure. Right, because I was listening. And that is a really powerful place to start a story because you have to hear, what are the facts? What are the details? What are the emotions, either from someone else or from me? And then how do I put this together?
Michele:
Now, you're no, you're still you utilizing your skill set from being a journalist, over to your startup J skills. Tell us more about J skills.
Theola:
So I am obsessed with career change. And the reason why is because in the whole universe of career, which to me is very, I think a lot of it is boring. A lot of it is you have to do XYZ, you should should should, you need to write a cover letter, don't forget to reach out to your five LinkedIn contacts. And you need to do it this way. It's just like, it's just too much noise and blah. And like, you know, I mean, no offense to dentists, but who wants to go to the dentist, right? Nobody, but you go so that your teeth don't fall out. Right. Thank you, Danielle. Yes, a very real human need to be heard, especially through a process where everybody is so unique and special. And everybody knows what it's like to apply for a job. And it's like, what makes you special just completely goes away? Right? Until you get that like 10 minute interview. And suddenly, you have to turn special on, right. And then you throw a career transition on top of that, and all of the problems are magnified. I felt that struggle. When I was a journalist, and I had been at a top company, the Washington Post for more than a decade, I did all these things that were fantastic. Travel the world. And then when I said oh, I want to do something new. I had no clue how to do that. I didn't know what skills I had. I didn't know what else I was qualified to do. I didn't know who to talk to, you know, the technology right now just sends you information based on what you've already done. If I go into zip recruiter and say I want to change careers, zip recruiter sends me writing jobs, okay? Because that's what I know how to do. If I say hey, I'm a little tired. I want to something new. They're like, No, sorry, our algorithm can't To help you. So I am figuring out right now, what can we build that actually brings more of that humanity and more of that utility? Because so many jobs, so many titles, it's all transferable, right? Every job no matter what job you have, you manage something, you manage yourself, you manage your time you manage some resources, right? You lead, maybe you lead in your ideas, you lead a team. And there's so many concepts that are core that can really transfer out into different industries. So that's what I'm studying right now. We run workshops where we walk people through identifying their transferable skills, this is all very analog right now. And then eventually, we will bring technology to that process.
Michele:
I love it. I absolutely agree. It is truly a struggle. A few years ago, somebody is like, Michelle, you have transferable skills. It's like, but I'm an engineer. What transferable skills, I don't understand what doesn't compute, yes,
and engineer another high functioning role, right? You're educated, you're high functioning, and you're like, what transferrable skills you have no idea where to start? Not.
Exactly, exactly. So, think about this. So what is your topic for the virtual Summit? What are you talking about? Because I want to tie this back in so they'll know exactly why they do not want to miss your session.
Theola:
Yes, yes. So there was a term, I think it's still in use some places. So this idea of Stranger danger, right? Something that is strange, and that we don't know, someone, if they're a stranger, there's something dangerous there, right. And I will be talking about this concept that in the workplace, you know, you have colleagues, maybe you have some friends. Everybody really is a stranger in the workplace, right. But for, for women of color, we are perceived as strangers for reasons that are outside of ourselves, right, because of history because of society because of inequity. So the first step is to acknowledge that right is and just say, hey, somebody like me, is going to be seen as a stranger, in a different way, compared to somebody who maybe doesn't look like me. And then what does that mean, for how I interact, because everybody is a stranger in the workplace needing to be heard, needing to tell their stories, so that they get better assignments, that they get resources that they get to hire somebody on their team. But there are techniques to telling your story and techniques to picking pieces of yourself without feeling like you have to divulge something or give something up. But it's just really important to be able to know how to leverage your story and the power of you, so that you can take away that stranger danger. And then be someone who was known and known in a way that is comfortable to you. Because for too long, people of color. Women of Color, we have shame about our stories, right? And we and we feel like the achievements are supposed to oh, just, you know, focus on my degree focus on my title, you don't have to know about my brother who's in prison, right? And maybe that person doesn't have to know maybe you have to tell them, but the fact that you know, drives you, right, the fact that, you know, maybe over Christmas, you're going to visit him and someone says, How was your holiday? And you say, Oh, it was fine. And then you move on? Because you don't want to bring that up. But then your colleague is saying, Oh, they're so unfriendly. They're a stranger, right? I was just trying to figure out if they if they had a nice holiday, right? So all of us have had trauma have trauma in different ways. And there's still a way to tap into the power of telling your story so that you can take that stranger danger, and then use it to your advantage.
Michele:
Absolutely, absolutely agree. So, Violette is going to be on live talking about all of this on your on Monday, right. Did I get that? Right? I think it's Tuesday. It is Tuesday. Okay. Let me switch with our other one. We just approved me right. Well, here we go. It is a Tuesday, February 23. Definitely, definitely come and join her session. And it is really important that we talk about that talk about this as soon as I figure out how to take this down, because it's really important to understand what you're doing He is, and through the narrative, and I know we have a question about trauma. If you had aren't in a place you haven't healed yet, you haven't had help dealing with that trauma, you're not going to be able to tell that story without potentially traumatizing other people in adding more trauma to yourself
to yourself.
Theola:
Yeah. And let me just talk about that for a second. Because I do know that my perspective, as a journalist, you know, I have conducted more than 35,000 interviews of people through my entire career, you know, I would talk to 1215 people a day, times, five days a week, you know, and so, I have talked to lots of different people. And I've listened to so many stories, and I have asked people questions, you know, after their child was killed, right, I once interviewed a sexual assault nurse, basically, the woman who you see on SVU, who does the rape kits, right? Very, very sensitive stories. So from that experience, I know that there is a way to hold the dignity of you, while still discussing topics that may be perceived as difficult. Michelle, you are absolutely right. There has to be some kind of, I will say settling, if not healing, but settling for you. Just to be able to say, oh, yeah, I have a brother. Um, he lives in Texas. I don't see him very often. How was your holiday? Right? Because I don't have to say, Oh, he's in prison doing five to 10 for attempted murder, right. I, I know the details, details, but I am okay with saying, Oh, yeah. Here's this, what about you? And so it's about giving yourself, I call it the flexibility and the power back? Because every single person, if not to their person, if not in their family, certainly in their family history. We all have trauma. I mean, frankly, the trauma of racism, you know, is a trauma that all of us have black, white, everybody, right? And so it's just about finding, finding the place where you can actually say something about it without saying something about it.
Michele:
Absolutely, plus one on that. So everybody, now you see why I'm so happy to have the OLA on as a speaker for the women of color in STEM virtual summit comm join her session on Tuesday, February 23, which is literally a week from today, right?
Theola:
So from behind me, I'm still I'm still putting together those wonderful, wonderful everything for you guys. It'll be great.
Michele:
It will be and I can tell you from the from other speaker, other attendees, what they love the most about the sessions are the ability to have have the speakers answer questions like we just did right here. trauma. And so you want to be there live? If you can, there's a replay. So send me questions, you can message me here, you can and really just let me know if you have questions about how to create your story. There are replay so you can catch the replay for 24 hours or you can purchase the entire summit. So you get everything for 12 months. So definitely definitely come and take this opportunity to learn and grow and understand how to create your story, your narrative. And so you know what you're comfortable putting in and you're you're you can leave out because they don't need all the team. They might just the tea bag,
Theola:
right? Like, you know, dip it in or let it steep right. You can just dip it in,
pull it out. Right.
Michele:
Exactly. Thank you so much for joining me tonight.
Thank you, Michelle, thank you to everybody on the live. It's really nice to see you here and I can't wait to see you next week. Thank you.
Bye, everybody. Bye

Michele:
Hello, everybody, thank you so much for joining me. I know it is a Monday. And here I am, because it is a very, very special week coming up. And I'm going to be introducing to all of you well or reintroduce e to some of you some fantastic women who are speaking at my women of color in STEM virtual Summit, where the theme is the power of you Why oh, you today I have Francesca Scotto, she is one of the speakers. Actually, this theme is because of her a conversation we had look at. on its nose. This is why I love having her first this week to talk about for you to learn more about her. And this theme, and we had this conversation. So I'm gonna let her first tell you a bit about herself, her background and a little little fun tidbit about herself. So Francesca, thank you for joining me.
Francesca:
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Now I want to hear this whole thing about how I helped inspire the theme. I am curious. So a little bit about me, I am a serial entrepreneur started my professional journey as an engineer, way back in another day. And I started my first venture writing software to track the performance of aircraft engines, that was a great learning experience crashed and burned. And it was fantastic. And then from then on, I started multiple things from fitness to your Mary Kay lady, to finally settling on continuing to do software development and coaching startups. And so I've been able to work with organizations like black and brown founders, dear to my heart, which is how we met the show, I co created curriculum there with a new year Williams and I'm Director of Education for them, helping continue to train the next wave of black and brown entrepreneurs. I mean, I've done a lot, but I don't want to bore people with like the things I've done, I want to share with people that one of the reasons I continue to do this work is because I strongly believe that entrepreneurship is the most effective form of activism. And so if you want to change the world you live in, you change how people make money. And you can even change the game of work itself, redefining a lot of those parameters and redefining who gets to succeed and what success is. And so to me, entrepreneurship is such a powerful tool for economic development, for social disruption, and for upward mobility of groups that typically are disenfranchised, from whatever success metrics are in the general population. Something funny about me. Gosh, I thought it was going to be easier like impromptu, I can come up with this. I have a fabulous sense of humor. That's that's the thing. I know, right? i Some people would argue that I don't, my kids would be the first ones. Um, so something fun. I think I picked up painting. That's my COVID hobby. I am loving it. I used to draw charcoal drawing for a long time. And so my realism was on point. But color was something I didn't know what to do with or how to do. And so I picked that painting and I have been thinking up a storm. So not funny, but I love it. But more fun, new passion.
Michele:
Yes, that's the that's the tech meets art. Right there. I love it. I love it. So but let's take a step back. Yep. First, the first software company now you're in software. But you are actually you actually have an industrial engineering degree. How does that work? We're well,
Francesca:
so what happened was, um, while in college, and I, I thought about this multiple times throughout the last 25 plus years, I did take computer programming courses that was part of the curriculum for my degree, I kind of chose that track. And I took this database course. And I got the best grade in the class. And the professor was a female. And so she came up to me, she was like, you know, you have the best grade in this class. Like she wanted me to know that. And I didn't know what that did. But I was like, I'm good at this. I believed it and so I ran with it. When I started work, I went to work for GE. And I did their technical leadership program for two years, thank God that I had just a dynamic personality, they wouldn't let me go into manufacturing, they put me in segments. And I was annoying, because I didn't want to sell that wasn't where my passion was, I really wanted to work with the people aspect of manufacturing, you know, just the production line and doing the automation and the robotics and improving processes that was like the heart of Industrial Engineering. However, quickly, I found out that software was becoming this tool to do just that to automate processes and to find efficiencies and to improve just quality in general how, you know, software was really revolutionising that. So I started to play with software. And with between the courses I took and just diving into stuff, I was like, I can improve and streamline processes using software. So that first venture, what we were doing now we have sensors and all these things that collect data and tell you how not just an aircraft, but any machine is doing a point in time. But at that time, we didn't have the technology wasn't as developed, right. And so I was really fascinated by the challenge of commercial aircraft and by commercial is not just passenger flights, but cargo and other kinds of flights, right, that are smaller aircraft, but there's a lot of accidents that it's very accident prone industry. And so our task was to figure out how we could predict when an engine needed to be serviced. And so the manufacturers of aircraft engines have their proprietary software that they use for diagnostics. But if I am managing a fleet of multiple aircraft that have multiple engines, right, so managing different engines, the question was, how can I mechanic at this airline, manage all of this data and be able to know this plane needs to come off, you know, the wing needs to be taken to the shop and be able to kind of recycle that throughout. And so it was a process that was broken maintenance process, and we were coming up with a solution. It was we were learned so much, what not to do. But we were at the cusp of something really good. I
mean, our first year was like a million dollar a year, just off the gate. And all we had to invest in was a freaking computer, you know. So it was just a really good place to play. I think that aviation is still a great industry to be in. There's a lot of new stuff, especially because we think of cars going green. But when we think of airplanes going green, there's a lot of technologies developing and new ways. But I digress. That's how things went from industrial engineering to software.
Michele:
What what did you start with the startup?
Francesca:
So that was 1998. Before startup was a word?
Michele:
Yes. That's right. Before the.com Boom, so So I just want everybody to really reflect on this right? Because startups is really popular. Yeah. But then he was such a novelty. And so it is completely Oh, yeah, here to hear hear about that. This is why I love it. This is why I have you on set. Okay, so your topic for the virtual Summit is what
Francesca:
it's basically about leading the revolution, is it and I think it's what you just said, I really want women and black and brown people in general to know that at every moment in time, we are in a position to shift the whole thing. And I mean, the whole thing. And we live in a geography right, like we're in the United States, that's where our feet are planted. But we belong to something bigger. And there are so many ways to make a difference. So many ways to take art skills, especially in STEM and take it to a small pivot, that brings about ridiculous amount of change. If anybody wants to read some books, because you're into that that's what I do in my free time. There's out of poverty by Paul Poehler. And one of the passions I have is how do we take existing technology and shift the revolution towards the global South, where we are all originally from? Right? So whether that's Latin America, or it's Africa, or India or anything that is global South, you know, when you think of countries that are still catching up technologically, whatever that might mean, the way they are using technology is very different than how we use it. And so when we're thinking about like, oh, I want to create the next Facebook, well, Facebook was already created, I want to create the next Uber was already created. However, there are places in our world right now, where that last mile, for example, from, say, the post office to that person's home, that trajectory, there's no road infrastructure, how do you get water to those places? How do you bring electricity to those places? How do you bring food there, right? So things that have been solved for us remain to be solved in many other places that technology exists? The question is, can you build a business that is profitable and makes an impact, right? So you really can turn this whole thing around with what exists today already? Being a disrupter is great. Being an innovator is great, starting something from scratch, all of that is fantastic. But can you take what exists and do something miraculous, right? So I won't get into the whole topic this this morning. But I do want to empower people to see themselves with the privilege that we already have, by being in the most economically stable, and the most politically powerful country in the world right now.
Michele:
I absolutely love it. So how did this come about was, I said, I'd hit you up to talk about becoming a being a speaker. And we we finally connected, you're like, No, no, Michelle, we have to talk about the power we have as, as people, we always talk about the power and privilege of white people, but we have our own power and privilege. What does that look like we have to own it, we have to direct it. And, and that's what we should be talking about. We need to be harnessing our own power house like this, we do talk about it. And we don't often talk about it, I reframe it in different ways. But when we specifically talk to black, and brown women, specifically, who are often hushed, or are overlooked and ignored, you still have a voice. And we talk about how to how to do certain things. But we don't outwardly say your power, or the hour of you. And so that's really why I named the conference, the summit after that, because we do have power and asked for issue. And that's really why I focus on it. So it came from that that that brief conversation that now you remember
Francesca:
that now. And there was more to it too, because one of the things we discussed I remember was the impact that COVID has had on disrupting the future of work, and how we get to shape what comes next. Right. And so as a female, haven't been told 100,000 times you cannot work from home, when I needed to have the flexibility because I am raising children. Right. But I you know, it's not just women that will benefit from this men have been deprived. The flip side, right men have been deprived from that home life, because they were told this is the only way that you can participate in the professional world in the corporate world. And so while women traditionally and it's stereotypical, I know but women traditionally have been stuck at home and men have been stuck at work. We all now have a proven record. This is not theoretical. And that doesn't person saying I can do it, I can do it. It's like we did it. We all did it. And you know what, it was fine. When the dog barks, nobody died. The deal didn't fall through. You know. So there's a lot that I think we have the power now to power, we have data, we have a year worth of evidence, not me, but a world that functioned in a new way. And so we have the opportunity to take that bull by the horns and really continue to drive that revolution that change. For sure. I remember
Michele:
that now. She all fired up this this is like oh my god, I gotta take this. I gotta I have to do so much. So much stuff coming in 2021 and 2022. After that conversation, because I am in the future of work. That is what I built out and because of the pandemic, there are new issues and problems to be solved. Even though we we have proved to employers, women are still productive at home. Even with kids, they have to homeschool it's a lot to manage right now, right at the same time. are employers willing to make other changes? To make sure these women have inclusive workplaces still feel as they belong, and are going to have career opportunities to grow in advance. So I have a whole other thing I'm working on.
Francesca:
Yeah. And then how do we continue to level out pay? Right? Because it's out of sight, out of mind, then there are, there's a lot that we need to do around here. This is a great opportunity for our fellow ally men, to also rally behind it and say, Wait a minute, I work from home to win. You thought I was fabulous, right? And like, so there's yes, there's a lot. There's a lot, and I'm excited for it.
Michele:
 I am, too. So everybody, if you haven't already, number one connect with Francesca, on LinkedIn, if you haven't, number two, you need to head over and register for the women of color in STEM virtual summit. The theme is the power of you. We are absolutely about what does that look like? What What should you what can you do? And so we have six speakers, we do one speaker per night. That way you like you know what, Tuesday and Wednesday I don't need to be there I have other stuff I need to do. We get you there as a 24 hour replay. Or you can pay for by the whole summit replay for the next 12 months. Because we know life is real different still in during the pandemic. But we only do one speaker for one reason number one, you have other things going on. It is you can be very focused in at one short time span with that one speaker, ask questions, get actionable steps and really use that to harness and push you through for the next 90 days. And for some of you the next year. And so I love I love having everybody come on at we had a speaker, I think it was last year. February. One speaker actually one of my former mentees, she was an executive at GE for 14 or 17 I think 17 years. And somebody came through a few months ago she like I'm still she's like I'm taking action on the notes I took from that event. months. Wow, exactly. So when reporting free, people don't see value. But we literally have black women and Latinas who are sharing with you, their experiences, the information, they gather the studies, they have the results to help you move forward. So this is not just just free or low cost doesn't mean there isn't value. I just want to make sure you have access to great women who look like you who understand additional barriers that you often encounter that can talk through that lens and that is why I bring on specific speakers for for my very niche audience of black and brown women. So everybody, if you haven't go sign up, we are going to get out of here because guess what, it's it's sort of like late lunchtime. And Francesca, thank you so much for joining me. Yeah. I'm excited for your session next week, everybody. Be sure to be there and have a great Monday, everybody. Yes. Bye bye.

Mental health is critical right now especially for children. While parents are worrying so are their children. But what can parents do to help their children during these uncertain times?

Christina Broderick is clinically trained Licensed Social Worker, a Psychotherapist and a Certified School Social Worker. She’s worked in K-12 educational settings for nearly a decade. She is also the founder of  IgnitEDU.  It helps every student to learn, build and strengthen their mental health foundation within their education journey.

When Christina started working with students, she realized there’s a consistent gap that existed related to mental health. Christina established IgniteEdu which she’s the founder that helps every student to learn, build, and strengthen their Mental Health Foundation within their education journey.

Talking about career at your career team. And today we’re specifically gonna talk about sponsors, what is a sponsor? And truly understanding the power that sponsors have in really helping you get to where you want to be in your career. Now, you’re like, Michelle, you may like a sponsor for like an event, a sponsor if I am in a guest. No. So very specifically, there are different types of sponsors. But I’m specifically talking about career sponsors, those people who help guide you through your career, and they make things a whole lot smoother, a whole lot easier. A whole lot. I don’t know. cozier than it could be, if they were not there. Right. So the first thing that a sponsor does, they advocate for you, your your sponsor many times, can get into meetings, we’ll be talking to people you generally won’t see you won’t interface with within the workplace, especially if you’re with a large corporation, you have different divisions, you have different offices, they will have the inside track and have the ability to talk about you to people who know nothing about you, you’re simply an employee number from part of department, Hey, you are truly truly just somebody they don’t really know up and know much about. So it’s truly important to have an advocate who, who is there, let me make sure I’m in the right place. Right, I got to make sure I’m in the right places you scare me. Okay, well have a good night. Thank you so much for joining me. Um, so if you have a, an advocate in the workplace, right, if you have an advocate in the workplace, they’re helping you guess what? Bypass barriers, they truly take barriers out of your way, so that you can progress quickly and more smoothly in your career. Now, this person has power and authority to do that. So you’re like, Michelle, what do you mean? They remove obstacles? How many times do you see job postings where in they say, you must have this? You like I said, I have to have it. So I’m not going to apply? Then somebody says to you. Okay, then, then somebody comes to you say, Hey, there’s this role we want you to apply for in this group, or there’s a role we think you’d be perfect for. And you look at it, like I don’t have any of this, I have maybe 20% 30% of it, like oh no, you will do great. Such and Such recommended you and you’re like such and such I hardly ever talk to such and such, what happens is such and such, or what’s his name, or what surname is your sponsor, you may not be aware of it until people come to you with different opportunities you had thought you’re not ready for, you may have thought you didn’t have the requirements for you just thought it was beyond where you are. What happens is that sponsor has removed the must haves, the EU, the requirements, right, the mandatory require they’ve removed or met the mandatory requirements for that role. A sponsor can truly do that. They make it a whole lot easier for you to have access to that role, access to new opportunities in an organization and if they’re really really powerful within the industry. So watch out because you having the right sponsor can take you to different places and different levels you never thought possible. Now, what else so so now that you have this role, and you’re like Michelle, if this sponsor gets me to roll and I’m not ready forand I fail, I’m check the hell up. Maybe not. So what a sponsor does a sponsor also protects you. So the sponsors get removed these barriers so you can get access to opportunity that you can’t progress faster in your career. So to progress faster mean you have to take risks bigger More often, and you’re probably going to fail fast. But you also need to be able to recover fast, well happens to a lot of women of color, especially in technical spaces where you’re scientists, engineers, developers, and so forth. And it, what happens is, you have very small windows to fail, because you do not have a sponsor. Failing one time can get you fired, failing one time, he completely make you not eligible in the organization for any management role, because there is no one to protect you when you fail. But failure is a part of everything in life. This sponsor protects you when you fail. Trust me, I’ve had a sponsor who protected me and the way who believed in me and saw my potential. And I was able to grow within a two year period to the point where I was getting a bonus, the client was sent an email saying how great it was to work with me, they couldn’t have done it without me. And having a candid conversation with the, with my sponsor, at the time on the side of the road, was like, You know what, you were struggling at beginning of this project, but you have done such a great job. And nobody else managers didn’t believe me, but the sponsor did, the sponsor saw something my manager at the time didn’t see. And the sponsor literally made sure I got this other role, because I talked to my then manager, prior to getting the role. He said, Hey, and he was like, Oh, well, I’m looking for somebody who has this, this and this, my sponsor was like, now go apply for this. Don’t worry about it, just go apply. And I got the position. So sponsors truly, truly do take the chance, and they see something different in you, and they protect you while you are taking high risks. So do understand you can take more risks. And that is truly how you grow throughout your career, because you’re taking more risks. Alright. The next thing this sponsor is willing to advocate for you remove barriers, and give you protection, because they see your skills and abilities in a different way, a manager may not a different way than a mentor may not. Um, and so with that they’re able to really have faith and see that you have potential to go and be something great within an organization to really have a great career. So I tied those two in so the sponsor knows your skills and abilities. And he or she also sees your potential. So when you are trying to fit well, why did this person pick me? They see something in you. It is like, you ever go pick fruit or vegetable? And you’re like, No, no, this is the right malate this is the right cucumber, this is the right pitch, you just see it. And you know, it is right it, it smells right, it has the right coloring is the right shape, right, you just absolutely know it is the right bunch of collars. And this is the same thing with sponsors, they see that you have what it takes. And they absolutely believe in you. So I’m gonna do a recap of the five characteristics that a sponsor will exhibit towards you, they will advocate for you. removeable barriers, protect you when you fail, because you will fail. They will know your skills and abilities.Yeah, you just see it right. They know your skills and abilities and they see your potential. When you have an advocate like this, when you truly have an advocate, you can go so far in your career, or at least in your workplace. Now, I know some of your ones like Michelle, but we talked about mentors, mentors, and advocates can be different people, a mentor can be guiding you, but an advocate, a mentor may not be able to have the same authority and get into the same places as a sponsor. A sponsor truly does have power, authority and respect from a lot of people, which is why they’re able to advocate for you and people listen, they’re able to remove barriers because they’ve built relationship people respect them, and they’re able to protect you. And because they have those characteristics, they can definitely be different than a mentor. So they could be the same person they could be somebody different. So don’t think they’re always the same thing. But an a sponsor can truly smooth the path while I mentor focuses on The things you need to do in order to progress in your career. So your sponsor may not even talk to you often. But they can see the work you’re doing with your mentor and how you making changes and you’re making progress. And they really liked that because you’re continuing to show them that they were right in believing in your potential, and that your skills and abilities are growing and getting better over time. Yes, so you gotta love it. So that’s why I split apart, mentor and sponsor because they can be different people. Everybody, I’m Michele Heyward. This is another edition of mentor Monday. I will be back next week for another edition. I think we’re going to talk about community. Yes, having a community when it comes to your professional career. Until then, have a great work week. No, Monday’s aren’t sad Mondays are fun days. They are the way for you to create energy to activate or your career strategy. So you can go to where you want to be in your community. So don’t dread Mondays, Mondays are fun days, and they’re definitely definitely a way to progress in your career. You’re absolutely welcome, everybody, have a great week. Bye.

Hello, hello. Hello, everybody. Thank you so much for joining me. I’m Michele Heyward, founder of a tech company positive hire. And this is another edition of mentor Monday. Yes. Today we’re going to continue with talking about creating your career team. And today we’re specifically going to talk about sponsors, what is a sponsor? And truly understanding the power that sponsors have in really helping you get to where you want to be in your career. Now, you’re like, Michelle, you mean like a sponsor for like an event, a sponsor if I am an a guest? No. So very specifically, there are different types of sponsors. But I’m specifically talking about career sponsors, those people who help guide you through Through your career, and they make things a whole lot smoother, a whole lot easier. A whole lot. I don’t know. cozier than it could be if they were not there. Right. So the first thing that a sponsor does they advocate for you, your your sponsor many times can get into meetings. We’ll be talking to people you generally won’t see you won’t interface with within the workplace, especially if you with a large corporation, you have different divisions, you have different offices, they will have the inside track and have the ability to talk about you to people who know nothing about you. You’re simply an employee number from part of department, hey, you are truly truly just somebody they don’t really know of and know much about. So it’s truly important to have an advocate who Who is there? Let me make sure I’m in the right place. Right I gotta make sure I’m in the right places you scare me. Okay, well have a good night. Thank you so much for joining me. Um, so if you have a, an advocate in the workplace, right, if you have an advocate in the workplace, they’re helping you guess what? bypass barriers, they truly take barriers out of your way, so that you can progress quickly and more smoothly in your career. Now, this person has power and authority to do that. So you like Michelle, what do you mean? They remove obstacles? How many times do you see job postings where in they say, you must have this, you I, I’m instead I have to have it so I’m not going to apply Then somebody says to you, okay, then then somebody comes to you say, hey, there’s this role we want you to apply for in this group, or there’s a role we think you’d be perfect for. And you look at like, I don’t have any of this, I have maybe 20% 30% of it, like oh no, you will do great. Such and such recommended you and you’re like, such and such, I hardly ever talk to such and such. What happens is such and such, are what’s his name, or what’s your name is your sponsor? You may not be aware of it until people come to you with different opportunities you had thought. You’re not ready for that you may have thought you didn’t have the requirements for you just thought it was beyond where you were. What happens is that sponsor has removed the must have the EU the requirements, right the mandatory require they’ve removed or met the mandatory requirements for that role. A sponsor can truly do that. They make it a whole lot easier for you to have access to that role, access to new opportunities in an organization and if they’re really, really powerful within the industry. So watch out because you have in the right sponsor can take you to different places and different levels you never thought possible. Now, what else so so now that you have this role, and you’re like, Michelle, if this sponsor gets me a role, and I’m not ready for it, and I fail, I’m check the hell up. Maybe not. So what a sponsor does a sponsor also protects you.So the sponsors get remove these barriers so you can get access to opportunity that you can progress faster in your career. And so to progress Faster meaning you have to take risk bigger risk more often. And you’re probably gonna fail fast. But you also need to be able to recover fast. Well, I miss a lot of women of color, especially in technical spaces where you’re scientists, engineers, developers, and so forth. And it what happens is, you have very small windows to fail, because you do not have a sponsor. They only one time can get you fired, failing one time, he completely make you not eligible in the organization for any management role, because there is no one to protect you when you fail. But failure is a part of everything in life. This sponsor protects you when you fail. Trust me, I’ve had a sponsor who protected me and the way who believed in me and saw my potential. And I was able to grow within a two year period to the point where I was getting a bonus client was sent an email saying how great it was to work with me they couldn’t have done it without me. And having a candid conversation with the, with my smart save time on the side of the road was like you know what you were struggling beginning of this project, but you’ve done such a great job. And nobody else managers didn’t believe me, but the sponsor did the sponsor saw something my manager at the time didn’t see. And the sponsor literally made sure I got this other role because I talked to my then manager prior to getting a role and said, Hey, and he was like, Oh, well, I’m looking for somebody who has this, this and this my sponsors like now go go apply for this. Don’t worry about it, just go apply. And I got the position. So sponsors truly, truly do take the chance and they see something different than you and they protect you while you are taking power. risk. So do understand you can take more risk. And that is truly how you grow throughout your career because you’re taking more risk. All right? The next thing the sponsor is willing to advocate for you remove barriers and give you protection, because they see your skills and abilities in a different way. A manager may not a different way than a mentor may not. Um, and so with that they’re able to really have faith and see that you have potential to go and be something great within the organization to really have a great career. So I typed those two in so the sponsor knows your skills and abilities and he or she also sees your potential. So when you are trying to figure out why did this person pick me they see something in you. It is like you ever go fruit or vegetable? And you’re like, No, no, this is the right malad This is the right cucumbers. This is the right peach. You just see it. And you know, it is right it. It smells right. It has to write coloring. It’s the right shape, right? You just absolutely know it is the right bunch of collars. And this is the same thing with sponsors, they see that you have what it takes. And they absolutely believe in you. So I’m gonna do a recap of the five characteristics that a sponsor will exhibit towards you. They will advocate for you. remove barriers, protect you when you fail, because you will fail. They will know your skills and abilities. Yeah, you just see it right. They know your skills and abilities and they see your potential when you have an advocate like this When you truly have an advocate, you can go so far in your career, or at least in your workplace. Now, I know some of your one like Michelle, but we talked about mentors, mentors and advocates can be different people, a mentor can be guiding you, but an advocate, a mentor may not be able to have the same authority and get into the same places as a sponsor. A sponsor truly does have power, authority and respect from a lot of people, which is why they’re able to advocate for you and people listen, they’re able to remove barriers because they built relationship people respect them, and are able to protect you. And because they have those characteristics, they can definitely be different than a mentor.So they can be the same person, it can be somebody different. So don’t think they’re always the same thing. But a sponsor can truly Smooth the path, while I mentor focuses on the things you need to do in order to progress in your career. So your sponsor may not even talk to you often, but they can see the work you’re doing with your mentor and how you making changes and you’re making progress. And they really like that because you’re continue to show them that they were right and believing in your potential, and that your skills and abilities are growing and getting better over time. Yes, so you gotta love it. So that’s why I split apart mentor and sponsor because they can be different people. Everybody, I’m Michele Heyward. This is another edition of mentor Monday. I will be back next week for another edition. I think we’re going to talk about community gas having a community when it comes to your professional career. Until then have a great work. We know Mondays aren’t sad Mondays are fun days. They are the way For you to create energy to activate or your career strategy. So you can go to where you want to be in your community, so don’t dread Mondays, Mondays are fun days and they’re definitely definitely a way to progress in your career. You’re absolutely Welcome, everybody. Have a great week. Bye

In this episode you'll learn where to go and how to get to the people you'd like to network with for your career.

Hello, everybody, thank you so much for joining me this is Michele Heyward, on connecting, or how to virtually network rather. So what we’re going to do right now is, if you’re watching the replay, you can’t do this. But if you’re joining in live, I want you to go ahead and put like your first name in there. What is your area of expertise? What field you’re in. And so I’m a civil engineer, I worked in heavy construction building 345 kilovolt transmission lines, there’s another another sibling here, and she works in the transportation field. So even though we’re both civil, we may connect, but we do something different. Um, I have a project manager within the federal government background is organizational development, and psychology, see, working aerospace industry as a systems engineer background as mechanical engineering. Somebody else I work in it feel support for clinic support and instructional technology and support. So yeah, so you can drop in your LinkedIn, but it’s good to have an intro. So people are Oh, yeah, let me definitely go connect with you. A lot of times in here, we just connect with each other because we’re here. I’m a senior majoring civil engineer with a focus in construction looking to become a project manager. Yeah, when I left, I was a, I was a PM, billion dollar projects, where everybody uses different software is a whole other struggle. And I ended up using paper and paper and pencil to manage projects, because it was just annoying to do it any other way. All right. Um, I have a background anthropology transitioning to HR after being a police dispatcher and getting an MS in human resource management. That’s what’s up. So definitely, a lot of people in here are currently we’re in somebody says they currently work in risk management. So I’m gonna go ahead and get started. We still have many people still joining. Now, I do want to let you know, when people join, or fall, rejoin or join LinkedIn, they cannot see your previous comments. So what I highly encourage you to do every 10 or 15 minutes, every two to three people that join to reshare, your intro. And so that way the new people can see it. And it could be somebody that you would love to connect with on LinkedIn or offline. And so we will get this party started. Real quick, just not great, quick, okay. And I love to network on social, a lot of people don’t. And virtually, virtually, I mean, so social is still virtual for me. So let’s get started. So, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Michele Heyward, I have an early stage tech startup called positive hire, where we help connect experienced black, Latina, indigenous women to management roles are based on rural South Carolina. And it is so great to have you all here. This is going to be a practical hands on webinar. So if you’re thinking like, Oh, I’m just gonna take some screenshots, I’m gonna take some notes. That is great, but we’re actually going to practice in here. So what you’ll learn is who is Michele Heyward? Why network virtually how to create networking goals, what to say that net work virtually and then a follow up. All right, so we always money the goal is really in a follow up. Okay. So a bit about me, I have a Bachelor of Science degree in civil engineering master’s degree in Industrial management. Both are which from our both are from Clemson University, I have experienced in technology transfer, technical sales, but the bulk of my career was the construction slash project management.I tell you, it’s not that don’t people just always want to hit you up. Here’s a bit about positive hire, we’re going to skip through this. You can always Google it. So wide network virtually. When you network, virtually a lot of people are going to be very, very quiet. They’re not go to ask questions, but it’s an opportunity for you to stand out. Meaning people, especially if you’re underrepresented, underestimated women in STEM, they do not know what you do. They don’t even know you exist, except when it comes time to lay people off or give out raises. Right. And even when they give out raises, they don’t know who you are. And if you didn’t give you a great raise, they definitely don’t know who you are. So it’s really important that it gives you an opportunity to stand out. It also gives you an opportunity to connect with other people. So when I say networking, but I truly believe in connecting people what value can you give to them, some people are laid off and right now if you’re employed and there are opportunities in your organization, it’s a great time to go out and help other people even review their resume. Certainly there. profile, and just feed it to people. Because when people in the most need, guess what they’re going to remember you when you come and you have your ass, it is the opportunity to grow your network. So prior to social media, you like, oh, everybody has six degrees of separation. Well, what social media, the Six Degrees has been ahead, it has diminished greatly. So your ability to network and do introductions to other people virtually really helps you and especially on LinkedIn, it helps people see your content better. Lastly, you can build your social currency. And what I mean by your social currency is the value you bring to your organism and the value you bring period, whether it’s to an employer to society to a community. And so what I encourage you to do is is understand,
understand that you do have value, and others may not see it, but it’s truly important that you showcase that value, especially virtually, because your employer may hide you. But it’s an opportunity to truly show the value you bring. All right. How to create networking goals. So too often we show up, how many of you put in a chat, just yes or why. If you go to internal virtual meetings and say nothing, like you don’t ask questions, you just say hey, Bob, you don’t you don’t do anything. You don’t type in. Hey, I’m calling in from the Virginia office. I’m calling in from Hawaii on vacation. How many of you Okay, all right. Yes, the fly on the wall. Okay, cool. Okay. Karen’s like, nope, cares. Like, I don’t do that I show up. And I show out. That’s what’s up. Karen, we girl, we got to talk. Let’s get them ready, baby. Not ready. But let’s do that. Okay. I forced myself to say at least one thing. Exactly. So, Angela, what’s that one thing? You say? Karen? What? What do you generally say? So share with other people because these we can really come up together with best practices. And and what does that look like? Um, so how to create networking goals. And one one of your networking goals or for virtual is just to say something, right is to introduce yourself. And you literally can say, Hey, I’m a cyber security engineer, in our Augusta, Georgia office is great to be here. Bear with the company. 12 years, two months? and seven and seven hours? I don’t know. Right? Just tell people you there. All right. Sometimes you want to network for a new job or career opportunity, speaking opportunity, right? So some of you are not even engineers, technologists, scientists, mathematicians, STEM professionals. But you’re still here, right? So you’re, you’re broadening your network, expand your personal brand. And so too often we get thought we get stuck into what we do. But you are a brand. So what you do is part of your brand, but who you truly are is your brand. And you can expand that and really share that more in virtual spaces. So maybe you you’re coming to an HR event as an engineer, and they go, Oh, my God, I’m an engineer that really understands how difficult it is for HR professionals to understand the analytical side of engineers. There’s like, Oh, my God, I need to connect with you. What is your LinkedIn profile? What is your email, right? So expand that brand of yours, maybe you’re looking to launch a new business. So you’re going to virtually events to learn about marketing, sales, social media management, things like that. And so you can still use virtual events for that. Maybe you want to gain new customers, some of you have that side hustle, whether it’s $5 jury, or it’s $500 per hour consulting, whatever that is, just know and identify what that goal is. And your goal can be simply to say one thing in that virtual event. And that could be internal meetings that could be webinars like this, it can truly be a lot of things.So select two to three goals. I love that you’re going to start out with just say something. But maybe you want to get a new job, you’re looking for an ally, a sponsor, you want to raise your personal brand. You want to build your network, maybe you’re collecting data, right? You have like a lot of new hires don’t attend the internal meeting. Maybe you go ahead and you simply ask a question. Hey, who’s a new hire who’s been working for the company for less than a year? You get two people to respond like Yep, new hires. At least they’re not really Responding only to responded out of 238 people on that call, right? So you’re collecting some type of data to try to understand and validate something that’s going on, connect with the C suite. Oftentimes, internal meetings are facilitated by the C suite. today or yesterday, today, today is the 22nd, the CEO of Wells Fargo had an internal meeting. And he said there was not a lot of black talent available, the talent pool was small. Let’s just say he catch it hell right now. But that’s a reason to connect with your C suite, because you don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, on the other side is positioning, how do you position yourself as as an expert, a thought leader, in your workplace, in your industry, in your region, right, whatever that goal is. And so you can use virtually events to help do that, whether you’re doing a webinar like this, whether you’re actually in the comments, asking questions that people have, because I asked some of you to share, what do you say, when you attend virtual events? I think of it, they are privileged to me and your presence, because you offer value, I can ask for more detail or add more detail sis Angie. Okay. See, so you really understand how to position yourself. So let’s say you are a mechanical engineering, and they are talking about ball bearings. And if I get these ball bearings didn’t perform as desired, as we desired. And so with that, we had to shut X, Y and Z facility down, we lost millions of dollars. And you’re going in, well, what kind of ball bearings? What are your specifications? I Oh, well, I did XYZ. And this is these are I findings, shoot me an email and you dropping your email link? because now you’re helping somebody figure out how to overcome something, and you have literally done it before you have or have similar experience. So you’re positioning yourself and you’re raising your personal brand. Does this make sense? Let me know if this this is what this is kind of the things you’re looking for. Maybe it’s completely different. Okay. Now going on. What to say? Cuz this is often the biggest question I get, and, and I am guilty of this, like what to say what to say, Okay. Current industry trends. One of the certain things that many of us are reading on industry trends about what’s going on whether it’s an energy is in tech is a software development. It’s an automotive, what are some industry trends you can talk about or being discussed in a webinar? And you don’t have to know it all. Maybe you’re just asking a question, right? And you’re trying to get more information. So you don’t have to be the expert. But maybe you’re asking a really, really deep question. And that there’s like, Oh, my God, you You would not believe how many wins I Oh, my God, I was afraid to ask a question. And they will connect with you Just because you asked a question they wanted to ask, but they didn’t. The topic of discussion of discussion what is being discussed? So some of you like oh, no, I don’t be quiet. So you can come in here and you can literally share your tactics and your goals for networking, virtually. Even though I’m doing a webinar, you still can share your best practices and your tips is your area of expertise. You know what to say? Like, hey, go check out my white paper. I did a YouTube video. Back at my other job. I did X, Y, and Z. I know this, I own this hit me up I got you. Maybe I did I do. The number four. The fourth bullet is commonalities and personal. And this is what I often do, when I do these particular bursts of virtual events is commonalities and and something personal. So sometimes we’re talking about being parents having pets, a region of the country like oh, I’m out in Arizona, but I’m originally from South Florida. Why from South Florida to we should connect? Where did you go to college? last last week, we did why now Wednesday, we were focused on LinkedIn. I had Texas Tech and Tuskegee alums on that webinar, and I was like,Who would have thought so they’re connecting just from those commonalities, right. And you don’t know that unless you share certain things about yourself. So you know how I mentioned where I graduated college, sharing the chat right now, what college are colleges you receive your degrees from, you may be able to connect with another alum. And one thing I do know alumni look out for each other. Maybe you have best practices and case studies which I previously mentioned. Okay, money yeah, no money. I know Monique from way back. North Carolina Central Howard Walden. I know a mark Hill is the Mars Hill fontbonne Did I get that right university? Alabama? Oh, Arizona State. Okay. University of Maryland, Baltimore County, Penn State, St. John’s, Towson St. John’s Trinity. Yes. I saw your smith college grad. I took an executive training program at Smith weigh about eight years ago. Yes. It’s been eight that was 2012. But and then outside in western pa on Western Mass last year for an accelerator. So I didn’t I drove past. I think we wrote past Smith. So yes, it’s such a small world. Finally, someone knows. Yeah. So nobody knows Smith College. It is a very elite women’s college in western Massachusetts. A lot of high powered, mostly white women have graduated from that college. And it’s not cheap. I will put a lot of people don’t know, either like Worcester Polytechnic Institute or WPA, when they think Massachusetts, they think MIT. And WPA has a great engineering program. Um, so yeah, I know, I lived in Massachusetts for like eight or nine months, way back when, when I did tech transfer, so we want to talk about that. So best practices and case studies. So you can share resources, and things that you do as well when it comes when you’re in a virtual event. So that’s all I got. That’s all I’m telling you. So guess what we get to do? How much time do we have? We have so much time? I’m so excited. Yeah, like, Why is she excited? So we are actually going to out do exercises. And I don’t want to do number one yet. I’m doing them in a different order. So we are going to do number two, exercise two first. And I’m going to break you out into pairs of four, three or four. I have to see how many of you are in here. Oh, now people want to leave? Why do you want to leave? Why do you want to leave? We just get started.
Recovering?
All right. So we are literally going to do breakout rooms. And I’m going to do assign 18 participants to three rooms now as 18 participants. I want to do six rooms. So it’s going to be three of you in each room. I These are the questions you’re going to answer in your room? No. So what’s going to happen is I’m going to put you all in a room in each of you is 18. And it’s probably kept me maybe counting me. But there’s no it’s not counting me, there are going to be six rooms, three people in each room. So it’s going to be a Zoom Room. So you’re going to have to turn on your audio. Isn’t that wonderful? So while your audio is on, these are the two questions. You have to at least turn on the audio. Um, hopefully it’s working. Which apps are tips Do you swear by to save time? which apps or tips Do you swear by to save money? So these are going to be great ways for you to interact and engage and guess what? virtually networks? I want you to get comfortable with it. And the best way to do that is truly I don’t know, doing it. So here we go. You’re going to see a box pop up. It’s going to transition if you’re on a mobile device. I have no idea what it looks like. angelite Michelle, so you trick me. I make sure y’all get real hands on help. See, that’s how I do I take care of my people. Okay, so the rooms are created. I’m gonna open up the rooms now. And you should if you don’t automatically go in. It will literally take you there. If not click Join on your screen. I see cognito has gone Simone’s gone stars gone. Miranda is gone. sumaira Um,
okay.So they are going to get five minutes to do this exercise. So up next, you’re going to answer these two questions. And they are what is your area of expertise? And what approaches have you taken when men get credit for your work? Yes, share this share some best practices, I can’t wait for you to come back. And let us know as a community, your answers. That’s what’s up. Love it. So I will see you back here in five to six minutes. Let’s see. Okay, so for this exercise, these are the three questions I want you to ask share with your partner, or partners, three privileges you are grateful for, share a specific moment you felt power less. And now share and then share a specific moment you felt powerful. And this is really to dig in more with your emotions and the things that you can truly share on the emotional side, and maybe not the intellectual side of who you are. So mess get to it. Yes, this should be fun. I like I like doing, you know, mixing it up. Okay. So what we’re going to do now is really close this out and talk about what are the next steps you should take. When it comes to networking, virtually it is in the follow up. So you want to connect with people online, so that it’s LinkedIn, Instagram, even email, within your organization or not outside, because if you don’t do social media, and you’re like, I don’t do social, I’m barely on LinkedIn. I saw your message from like, three months ago, Michelle? Yeah, here’s my email that is quite all right. With the world opens back up. Or maybe you’re wearing your masking up and you’re going out and hanging out in social does. You connect with people offline? So some people have met with people they’ve met online in real life, and I’m one of those people without met people on Twitter, Periscope, Facebook, I have met them in real life. Actually, I got a mentee from my live streams on Twitter. Don’t ask, but it has happened. You want to schedule a time to talk offline. So y’all can do a google meet. Maybe zoom, and you’re you are you can do a virtual and you can do it offline as well. Um, put reminders on your calendar. Yes. So maybe somebody told you they’re looking for, they won’t be looking for a new job until January. So you put a reminder on your calendar to follow up with them. December 1, say, Hey, have you worked on your resume, let me know if you need help before you start the job hunt in January. So you can literally put small things in there as well. Something I do is like birthdays. It’s gotten a whole lot easier now with birthdays, but I will add those to my calendars even to people I meet on social media. And I can just go in and say happy birthday. And I don’t need a Facebook reminder. Okay. So those are some things that you really want to try to do. And so maybe some of you have said, Hey, I see you want to get into pharma. Why don’t we set up a time shoot me, send me your message me your email, over on LinkedIn, let’s clinic on LinkedIn and schedule a time to talk. So one of the apps I use to schedule time says calendly, I’m a black man founded it is a tech startup in Atlanta, you can get a free account. And you can start using that some of you may have done a 1520 minute career ops opportunity chat with me, I used that same thing. And maybe you’re just doing 1520 minute talks with people right now during the pandemic. I know a lot of moms right now are stressed out because they’re trying to homeschool. They’re trying to work from home or go out and work. Maybe you’re just sharing strategies on that. And that’s really how you’re connecting with people. So you’re like, you know what, let’s check in once a week for like 1015 minutes, right? Just to give each other like, Oh my god, did you bring the wine? I got my bottle? Do you have your bottle and really just really make that real human connection. So I call it is we started with networking, but really you want to connect with people and that’s through the follow up. All right, so the next seven to 21 days. So go ahead and take a screenshot of this because if you’re new to me, I’m all about actionable steps. So steps one and two I want you to do in the next seven days. So by next week. Monday, I need you to find three virtual events to
add this be Facebook events, you can do searches on Twitter. LinkedIn has events. Now even Eventbrite. Maybe it’s in your local paper. Maybe you’re texting family and friends. But what are some virtual events you can attend and just be like, Oh, that looks arts and crafts. One, I hate arts and crafts, but I got nothing else to do. Let’s go get some popsicle sticks and glue, right and just find something different to really engage with, schedule each event on your calendar. So maybe you’re only going to do one virtual event a week, maybe that’s outside of your job, because less kind of zoomed out. That’s what you’re going to do the first seven days, days, eight to 14, what I want you to do is customize your, your LinkedIn URLs. Yeah, somebody had Michele Heyward dash 8439 Abracadabra. So you can truly customize it for free, it’s in the LinkedIn Help section. And it just is very easy or easier for people to remember it. And for you to remember as well. So you are always going on over to LinkedIn and pull it down, you can easily typing in very quickly. Um, and then for those events, virtually events that you decided you’re going to attend research the speaker or speakers. How many of you put in the chat? If you’re new to me, how many of you researched me or at least look at my LinkedIn profile before you like, Yeah, no, it’s not like an interesting topic. But she is not the person to to follow this up. So you want to research your speakers, or presenter? And what you really want to do is maybe they went to same university, they grew up something similar. You they talked about their Chihuahua, yeah, oh, I have one too. And you can use that small little thing about that speaker, speaker and share like, Oh, I saw you grew up in Arizona, I grew up in Arizona, too. And you immediately are connected with people. So you can do that. And then through the exercises, so days, 15 to 21, I want you to create three to five questions. One or two of those can be for every single one of those events. And then other ones should be custom to that event. And then you’re going to create your written and verbal pitch. Remember, I asked you what was your area of expertise? What did you do? So you can be like, I’m a dog lover here in South Florida, who is an electrical engineer in the power industry. That’s your pitch. That that’s all you have to do. Just keep it very simple. Add in something that is a little bit personal about you. That is industry specific about you and then adding your area of expertise. Does that sound doable? Is that doable? Put in a chat Yes or no? So it’s six steps. screenshot this? Let me know if we’re connected on LinkedIn. How’s it going? If you get stuck, what questions you have? And we can go from there? because y’all know I will do y’all know I’ll do a LinkedIn live and talk about it in a heartbeat. Great. I didn’t but I got a good vibe from you. I did not actually area whatever. Maybe she talked about her very, very first one now somebody else is joining us. I am cracking you know what she may have thought it was central time. But it is not central time that we’re starting this. So I’m just gonna say that maybe you thought it was simple. central time. A very, very first one. My very, very, very first Okay, your Bear Bear. First one. Okay. Oh, sorry. I like that, um, handle you have, okay, or URL? All right. Um, let’s see, what else will this work for me. So if you’re not connected with me on social, I make it really easy. I’m the Michelle with one l Hello, one love one l middle initial seed and it’s Heyward h, e y. So Hey, how you doing that hay for horses, W AR D and you can find me much easier on the gram and LinkedIn and email as well to connect with me. I have input positive hire code, just remember it’s a.co and not a.com. And you can just put the shell dat dot Hayward but either way I respond to both emails. Just people generally spell my name wrong. So nothing else. You can definitely email it. Email me and I’ll get it. Oh, so we just we just a little late, late. Okay. So don’t go anywhere. I have some special announcements and then we will be back

 
Hello, everybody, thank you so much for joining me. This is Michele Heyward. I have Dr. Lizette with thrive minds here with me today. And I'm going to introduce her I'm really excited to talk to her. We talked a few weeks ago, probably like two months ago. And so much has changed since then. And this was such a, an important topic that we decided, hey, let's do this now as opposed to later. So, number one, she's an award winning diversity psychology expert authority on career development. She is a tenured associate professor at Texas a&m, where she teaches multicultural counseling and career counseling. Her diversity scholarship has been recognized by the National Academies of Science, Engineering, and medicine. She has presented and publish her research in numerous outlets, including the US American Psychological Association journal, cultural diversity and ethnic minority psychology. She is the founder of work life lab where she and her research team are currently analyzing data on 1200 diverse parents in STEM. As a child of Mexican immigrants who do not even attend high school. She is passionate about helping diverse leaders unlock their highest selves at work with out having to burn out, opt out or sell out. She is also the proud mother of three trilingual, black brown boys. Thank you, Dr. Lizette. So for joining us today.

Thank you, Michelle. I'm so excited to be here.
 
Great. So let's start out first of all, you're you're at Texas a&m. What am I one of my early bosses when I started construction, he actually has nuclear My engineering degree from Texas a&m, and he will always fight the long horn in office. So it was always a lot of fun to have that happen. Oh, somebody says clap for 2002. Okay. Okay. Thank you everybody for joining us. So we want right now we're in the midst of a pandemic, and we weren't initially talking, we were talking about the pandemic. And then we've now doing more social justice, more social change, creating anti racist organizations, institutions, corporations. And that is a lot of an additional work for people of color. So what are some things today we're going to be you're going to be talking about how we can take care of ourselves in all of this, like, what are some strategies, but first, I want you to tell us a little bit about how did you get to this point Helping people of color really focus on self care, because that's not something we could afford to do, right. Like our parents didn't take vacations. Usually, they don't do a staycation is like that. It was always something to do. You always have to make sure that kids are taken care of the bills were paid, or at least mostly paid as much as you get paid. How did you get to this point, say, Hey, we need to change this for at this generation.
 
I'm telling you, the journey hasn't been easy.
Still, to this day, I get I challenged myself because there's only one of me and there's so much work that needs to get done. And I think that's something that's really common among
us. Feel like we have to make a big impact.
And we want to make a bigger impact and give back
to our communities.
Because we come from a place where a lot
of our past generations have had to sacrifice a lot. Struggle have their identities stripped their
language stripped,
be in a position where limited opportunities were available. And so the thing that I hear a lot and that, quite honestly is also something that I carry with me is that
I have to be my best I have to
I have to go after every opportunity that is available to me or create my opportunity, because I owe it to my family, my my parents, my grandparents, everything that they went through to help me get to this point. The thing though, is that we still have the some baggage in terms of what is possible for us.

And so when you're with it's like navigating to different worlds, and you're you have one foot in each world one is
where you come from like for me, I'm a child of Mexican immigrant parents, like I didn't even know how to use
When I went to like fancy dinners, I didn't even know how which fork to use. I'm like, Alright, so and it's just like little things like that where it starts to make you feel stressed out. In addition to navigating networking events, in addition to doing your work, it's these little micro doses of extra stress that is unnecessary, that holds you back from being at your best because you've got to constantly be thinking about these things, and how to navigate different spaces. And with different faces, right, we talk about code switching, and that
alone is exhausting.

Like, the way that you talk, the way that you move, your mannerisms, the words that you choose, having to think about who you're with, what is their, what is their perception to be about you, depending on how you show up in front of them and so kind of, it's like being in a closet. Trying to figure out okay, which mask Am I going to put onto? It depends on who you're with. And whether you perceive them as an ally, or someone who has your back. And in many ways these days is a lot more stressful because you can always have this guard up and you can't tell whether they're safe or not.

We're in back in the days when there was a lot more overt discrimination. I mean, we still have it now, obviously. But there was a lot more over like, you can't sit here you can't hear that kind of thing. Right. And so in a way that was
I hear this from a lot of people is that that was a little bit easier because you knew who was safe and who wasn't you knew where they stood.

Exactly. You don't have
to waste that energy in trying to read between the lines to try to figure out it are they for me, or are they against
exactly how much of me do I bring to the table and could it possibly used against me. How do I speak up? When do I speak up? Who do I speak up to? Do they have the best? My best interest in mind? Do I have to be careful about the things that I say?
And so think about it, this extra layer of stress compound with what's going on right now with the COVID, and the cultural crises.
And one of the things that is really important is to think about how you right now have to navigate multiple roles and multiple spaces. And that also compounds So thinking about how not just the cultural but the professional and the personal and the familial, all come into play, asking for your time, effort and energy all at the same time at 100% level. And so what happens have a tendency of darting or feeling like Something's got to give, I don't know what And oftentimes, we, it ends up being us that we sacrifice our sleep or health or our mental mental well being. And what happens when you do that is if you push beyond your abilities to tolerate a lot of stress, and a lot of us are used to carrying this around. But let me tell you, they're gonna become a point where it all comes crumbling down, you're gonna find yourself in a corner in the closet, crying, because you're like, I can't take it anymore or it's gonna come out with your kids, your family, your partner, and they're the people that you're doing all this for to begin with, and now it's they're taking the brunt of it, because it's just too much for you to bear or maybe You know, you respond to an email in a way that
kind of was passive aggressive, or, you know,
it's like the straw that broke the camel's back type of thing. And so what we want to do is be in prevention mode rather than remediation mode or intervention mode. Because it's a lot easier, less stressful, to avoid something, prevent something from happening than to deal with it. When it does happen, because there's a lot of course correcting, it has a ripple effect, it causes different levels of problems in different areas of your so to go back and fix something, let's let's not, let's try to work to not get it to that place as much as possible.

And so with the mud, I mean, there's a lot of things that I encourage my clients to think about and it falls into three different things. The first one is clarity, strategy, and then Your mentality. So when I say clarity, I'm talking about getting really clear on your vision, your values, who you are, how you want to show up, where you're putting your time, effort, and energy into where you see yourself next year, the year after that for the duration of your career, your life, right, getting really clear on that, and then figuring out alright, everything that I'm doing right now take a hard look at that and ask yourself, Is this helping or hurting and then start to make some really difficult decisions as to whether you're going to let go of something or Give your all to something else because we can't be all things to all people all the time at the same time. Okay, and so getting crystal clarity on what you want, what matters most what your vision is. for yourself, for your professionally personally, so that you're able to allow your whole self to show up fully
without having to sacrifice your identity, your, your energy, your productivity, your sanity, your family.

And so you have to take a really good look at all these dimensions of your life, the personal, the professional, the physical, the familial, and see what needs to be amplified. What has been neglected for far too long, and that if it continues that way, that it might
make the you know, the ceiling fall down, right. You might be faced with the glass ceiling. Yeah, it might start coming down on you. And so how do we get rid of this? Start with clarity, and once you're clear on what really matters most to you what you need to be doing especially considering the current context, right? I don't really like the word realistic because that I think that that puts some limitations on us because of what we think is possible for us. But really, I'm all about helping you unleash your limitless potential. And at the end of the day, I believe that there's much more that you can have that if you work on addressing some of the political, social cultural issues, and how to navigate that in a way that is going to help you move forward in a much easier, less stressful wait. And so with that said, I want you to keep in mind, what are the current times we have going on right now? It's no joke. It's been really stressful. I've had to slow down a lot. I do a whole bunch of different things. But my kids are home right now. And, and, you know, I have to switch things around. And so I want you to think about reprioritizing what really matters to you. So why have that clarity and in every aspect of your life, then I want you to think about an aligned strategy. So how are you going to get from where you are to where you want to be in a way that works for you, if you sit here and look around and compare yourself to how other people are doing things, that's unfair to you, and you're setting yourself up for failure, possibly, and comparison itis is a real thing. So don't compare your chapter one to somebody chapter 10, especially if their book is a different color, you know what I mean? If they have a different set of circumstances. So I can't sit here and compare myself to a white male CEO who has somebody working at home, take care of their kids, right? Like, that's unfair to me. And so you have to think about that for you. Right, and that's why that first step is really important, that clarity piece so Think about what do I need to do to get to where I want to be? What strategies are available to me? What are the different options? Think about the pros and cons for each. What are the resources that you need to make this a reality for you. And so be very strategic creating a plan to help you get to where you want to be. And if self care is something that you really need right now, and I think that's, that's something everybody can, can use, right? Like, that's really important stuff. Let's take that as an example. So let's say you're not getting enough sleep, because you have a lot of work to do. And everybody wants a PC right now, right? What happens if you don't get enough sleep? Well, you're not going to be at your best you're going to set yourself up for possibly making mistakes, which is what you want to avoid. Because maybe right now you're thinking about holding on to your position. And so think about that. If you're already stressed and worried about Whether you're going to be eliminated from your position, how do you think not getting enough sleep is going to impact that it's going to exacerbate the thing that you are trying to avoid in the first place. Okay? If you don't get enough sleep, let's continue with that example, you're going to set yourself up for being more susceptible to getting sick. And what happens when you get sick? There we go again, right? You might not perform as well. And so it goes back to what are you trying to avoid in the first place? Right? And how am I not getting enough sleep really, actually be detrimental to you, instead of you thinking that by getting less sleep, you're able to do more things? What's the point if the more things that you're going to be doing are not going to be as good if you were at your best imagine that being fully refreshed, ready to go, being laser focused and productive because it's all about the quality of your work, the quantity of hours that you put into it. And so let's think of a strategy what, what are some ways that you can get more sleep? Maybe if you have a partner at home, and you've got other family responsibilities, talking to them about what your needs are, one of the things that I'm seeing right now is a lot of tension at home because of stress coming from every Aiko as well as trying to get work done, and also stay sane along the way. And so having the communication making time for that, to talk about what do you need, how can I support you, and here's what I need, I really need to get some more sleep. This is why I think I need to get more sleep and this is how I think

I can actually accomplish that. And what I would need from you is XYZ I would need for you maybe to take care of the morning responsibilities and getting breakfast started. So I can get a little bit more sleep or I wouldn't need you to not Let the kids come into the room so that I can get a little bit more sleep. Is that something we can do? What do you think about that? And so I'm using sleep as an example of how you can create a strategy to getting more sleep, if that's something that is lacking.

And figuring out what's going to help you make that happen. Given your current situation, your home environment, everything that you worked on in the clarity phase, you are not going to bring in to discover what strategy is going to be working for you the best. Okay? And be resourceful. Who do you need on board? Do you need to have a conversation with certain people outside of your home, right? And so figure out what it is that you need. Okay. And so once you you have that strategy in place. The next thing that I want you to think about is your mentality. This is the area that people struggle with the most and that's getting out of there. Own Way,
self sabotaging.

Feeling like an imposter, thinking that you have to work really, really hard in order to get a certain result. But the thing is, and this is this worker mentality, right, and I have it still because that's how I was raised, you have to work twice as hard to get half as far because people don't who, who are in high places don't necessarily look like you sound like you talk like you. dress like you look like you. And so if you internalize those kinds of messages that you've received from society, and it's going to take an additional toll on you, and so, being super aware of when that's showing up. So for example, if I walk into a meeting and you know, it's a really important meeting, there are decision makers there and I'm the only one who has an accent. Or who is not a white male, I'm going to be honest, I'm going to start to feel a little
bit uncomfortable. Now, the goal is not to be fearless. The goal is to fear less. So being able to walk into that space as your true authentic self, step up, stand out with confidence and speak as if you know your stuff. And you belong there. instead of allowing these internalized beliefs that are in the back of your head, because we all have them, right, it's unavoidable. It's subliminal, it's, you don't even realize it. Because it shows up in certain ways that you're like, Where'd that come from? And so for example, if I start to get anxious, I have to tell myself, all right, talk to myself in a way that is actually going to work in their science based on it. So for example, asking yourself, okay, what's the worst that can happen here? The worst that can happen? might be, they wonder if I'm the person in charge that should be in this room? How do I want to handle that? I have these options. What is the outcome that I am looking for by being in this space right now that is making me a little bit uncomfortable? What do I need to do before entering that space meditation, listening to some music that's going to amplify my energy? having one of those poses that has been shown to actually help you feel empowered. And so that's part of that strategy piece as well. And this, this is stuff that comes with time. You have to be aware of your thoughts. Are they positive or negative? And those thoughts, then we're going to trigger the way that you feel about it, fight, flight, flee, or freeze. And then that is going to then trigger whether you do something or not How you show up, whether you're stuttering or hiding or don't speak up because of that emotion of not being safe, because of the thought that you have.

And so this chain of reaction, I call it the, the, the terror method, like your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, and then the results you get. And so you have control over that. And it starts with your thoughts. And one of the things that I hear a lot of times is, well, I can't control other people's response to me. I can't control what other people do. I can't control how other people perceive me. And yes, that's true. And yes, there are some, you know, some, you know, people out there who don't. They're waiting for you to make a mistake. They already don't think that you have what it takes because there's not enough people who are who look like you in certain positions, and so they also have these beliefs, some of them are obvious others are not. There's, you know, it depends on the how ingrained This is and their level of awareness of their own unconscious biases, right? We're talking about unconscious stuff, stuff that we're not even aware of. But that triggers these emotions in us, that elevates the stress. And I'm here to help you try to elevate competence instead of stress. And that starts by, for example, thinking about what you're already really good at. And then leveraging that instead of focusing on what you're not so good at, that's just going to make you feel worse. Start with what you're really good at. It's going to amplify your confidence, it's going to take less time, which means more time for sleep, right? And or whatever self care needs that you have right now. And so that's one tip that I would suggest for you to Really think about what is your area of strength, your zone of brilliance? What is it that you do that you have no doubt that you are amazing at.

We all have it, hold on to that, put it put it somewhere obvious.
Think about it every day. And what what that's going to do is that's going to help you amplify other areas that maybe you aren't as aware of that are within your zone of genius. And the more confident you feel in yourself, the more you're going to be able to present yourself with confidence. And even when other people have assumptions about you.

They're going to feel compelled to listen to you more because of the way you show up but it all starts in here. And you know self care is really a non negotiable. Sometimes we may feel guilty because Other people need us there's more impact we want to make in this world. I know that I have experienced that. But I have a non negotiable self care routine, for example, massages. That's my go to thing. I used to feel so guilty about that, because that's a luxury. nobody in my family gets that. And so I used to feel a little bit uncomfortable when I would say, you know, I'm sorry, I can't make this meeting. Because I have a prior commitment. And that commitment was to myself
a massage because guess what, I know myself, I don't get that done.

I'm not going to be at my best for you, for my family, for anybody. And so it all starts with you. And so I want you to release the guilt that you might have about taking care of yourself. You are your most prized possession. Everything that comes out of you. Starts with taking care of yourself. Your thoughts, nobody else has them like you. The way that you make the change that you you produce, especially in STEM where there aren't enough people who come from where you come from, right? Think about that you want to be able to
us show self with confidence.

And that really starts with feeling really good about yourself and taking care of your most prized possession because, like I said, Everything you do with your hands with your mind, with your mouth, it comes from this and you need to make time to attend to it to give it what it needs, including the rest that it deserves to be at its best.

Okay, I just talked a lot and I can talk forever, but uh, I'll give it back to you we show.
Now that was really great. We have so many great comments in here. People, ladies mostly, this is the resume With
a lot of us Miss massages that that is what our go to things are first of working on our zone of genius. And definitely fear less, not being fear less. But the having less fear. I absolutely agree with people like I want to be fearless like you're like I'm not fearless. I do everything I do is within fear. I just have just enough lesson it just enough to move. So I always tell people, you stand in fear, you walk in fear or you run like hell and fear is one of the three things you do. So if you can get just a little bit less, you won't stand in fear. I'm so true. Plus you get bags and dark circles when you aren't getting sleep. I love how you can pair your check. Hi, how you don't compare your chapter one with somebody else's chapter 10 Mind blown. Yeah, so, so many people are definitely resonating with the things they need to do. Someone said I quit my job because of this. My straw was when my boss told me I needed to remember and know my place. This was a blessing though, because I'm now in such a better place. Yes. Um, we definitely, especially as women, of color families always first and you're always taught you have to take care of them. Right? But you can't take take care of somebody else unless you put your mask on first and you're making yourself a priority. Absolutely agree. So we have skincare is on the list too. So we have a lot of people here it was a comment. Here we go. Yes, put your mask on. Bird. Absolutely. So um, anything Any final words? Because I know like you said it was it's so much in there about prioritizing yourself, not comparing yourself to others. What, you know how Jenner generations and culturally were taught, you're gonna work twice as hard to get half as much. And really what those technical things we are to really take care of ourselves emotionally. And mentally right now is truly important. It was it was a report, a friend of mine posted about people have, on average gain 16 pounds during the pandemic, just just during the pandemic. So I won't say which side of that I'm on, but I'm looking at a spin bikes. So I didn't see you that way. So it's sometimes it's an investment because you're not I'm not paying for the gym right now. So I can put the investment in equipment. So it is definitely like what's that thing you need to do, plus, it'll help you sleep better. When you work out you generally sleep better. So if you're having issues sleeping, a good workout generally, for many of us works other times it doesn't. But for many of us that work out isn't there. So I do want to thank you so much. This is really great. You gave us a lot of tips and tactics and tools we can use during these stressful but yet important changing times around us. Is there acronym for mass?

Hmm, do you have acronym for math, not mask
llama. I might just make one because it's easier for us to remember. When
we had, um, one, one person asked, Did you have a handout with these tips?

Uh, yeah, I didn't prepare one for this. But if you get in touch with me, I will send you something.
Okay. I will I will let them know that they weren't able to attend They post them in any event, so I'll let her know too. I tagged you in the comment, but I'll let her know to dm you so she had no gas. So any final comments or questions from the audience? Y'all now know you're going to take care of you first you're going to get some sleep. You're going to put your mask on first and you're not going to be comparing yourself to other people. Their journey is so different. It's like looking at somebody 20 years in and you're at, you're at a 20 It's so unfair to you and plus, even somebody that's coming in day 20. They may have been groomed, like you said, Hey, you had to learn how to eat with the right fork. I took the etiquette class in college, right? So there are a lot of different things like you had a fork at dinner and that was your fork. You were six other people at this dinner table. So you were happy to have a fort. So at least in my house, it was seven of us. So It was it was always it was always thankful for what you had. But also knowing you worked hard for other things. Do you think that mindset of culturally being taught having to work hard or hurt drives us? Or both?

Oh, my goodness. Okay, that I love that question because I,
what do I want to say how much time we have?
We have? We're over time. So yeah. Okay.

message me. But what I want to say about that real quick is that a lot of us are paid to, for our thoughts or knowledge. Yeah. And, you know, you know, my parents were immigrants, and so they work hard, like hard labor and so even sometimes, so I have a really strong work ethic as a lot of us do. And but at the same time, it's like, wait a minute, I don't have to myself to the ground to feel like I deserve
what I am getting compensated.

Like it is okay for me to be standing here and just speaking my knowledge, like, it doesn't have to be a tangible deliverable like that, you know what I mean? Like I could actually change the world compensated for my thoughts, the words that come out of my mouth, right? And so I don't have to, you know, do hard labor to deserve this.

Oftentimes,
they're internalized beliefs that do show up by staying late working early working weekends, not having those boundaries. Because sometimes we have a sense of, Do I really have to prove that I deserve this, that I've earned this
and that I'm working really hard to have this.

Somebody says they're making it up what mask is make actual self care. They can't figure out where the key would be. Oh, Well mask is now with a C instead of a K. I'm just saying. So, Alright everybody, she's gonna come up with something you're gonna find out before this summer. All right, thank you so much, Dr. Liz that thank you everybody for joining us. Be sure you connect with her here on LinkedIn messaged her. If you want her list of tips, she would definitely be glad to share them with you. We are going to get out of here. I'll be back on Thursday with my d ei diversity, equity inclusion partner in crime or really not crime we're solving. We're providing solutions to the in organizations. And you can find us here on Thursday at 1pm. As usual, everybody, have a great week. Be sure to connect with Dr. Lizette. Now you see why I had her. Join us today. Thanks so much.

Bye, everybody.

Hello everybody, thank you so much for joining me. This is Michele Heyward. And this is mentor Monday. And I want to say Happy New Year because it is the first mentor Monday of 2019. I can just remember when it was 20. It was not 20 is 2000, or is 1999. And I can’t believe it is 2009 teen Oh my god, where did 20 years ago, but from those 20 years, I’m here to mentor my women of color STEM professionals, so that you can go further in your career than you ever thought possible. And we are simply going to start with how to create your career goals, because oftentimes, we get stuck with thinking, Oh, well, we have a planner, or we have it, what do we call it? Um, one of our performance reviews, and we’re going to talk about what we want to do in our career. But what happens oftentimes, is those don’t focus long range enough for us, it’s really what do you want to get done in the next 12 months, and maybe you’ll have one or two follow ups, or maybe no follow ups with a manager. And actually, that manager may not even be on board with you, with you going and achieving those goals, right? Because oftentimes, we are looking for our manager to buy in, and sometimes they don’t see us going that direction. So what do we do? We end up having to change, where are we going, and it’s like, I don’t want to go this way, this is not what I want to do. So today, I want to give you five things you need to get started with your goals. And over the next few weeks, I’ll be giving you different steps and different actions that you want to achieve. Okay? Now, first up, you want to be sure that you are very specific with your goal. Now when I say specific, you do not have to make this a one year goal, this could be actually a five year goal, or 10 year goal where you want to go in your career. Because if you are that specific now, you can then start laying the path, laying the path and doing the work to get to that position and 510 15 years. Oftentimes what happens is, we kind of migrate, we look for a job, I’ll figure out what I want to do later. But for those of us that start earlier, saying this is where I want to go, we’re able then to easily lay the breaks, laid a foundation for where we want to go in our career. So that is what I want you to do. Write down that goal. It does not have to be short term, it can be a very, it can be a long term goal. But be specific. And when I say be specific, not just the job title, but the job duties. Um, how many people report to you? Do you work remote? Are you even in your native country, some of you may want international assignment, some of you may want to be able to work remotely, at least part of the time. Hey, thanks for joining me. So I want you to be very, very specific when it comes to your career goals. Now, once you’ve this specific, write down a date when you want to achieve this goal. Are you like Michelle? I want to be the VP of engineering. But I’m just five years into my career. I don’t know how long that’s going to take out, I’ll tell you a secret. You can be the Vice President of Engineering right now. You can be the CEO if you start your own firm. So don’t worry about what you don’t know pick a day as to when you see in the future, you would like to have that role. Does that particular role me that you need a master’s degree? Does it mean you may need to have more experience perhaps in a special niche because maybe it’s the Vice President of Engineering and on that old technology company. And right now you are working in a plastics manufacturer as a chemical engineer, right? So you may find that you need to change where you are in your career and go and get a different type of job or a different employer to get to that particular position that you See yourself obtaining. So that’s why it’s really important to set a date. Because if you don’t have a date, it’s really a dream. Because a goal is a dream with a deadline. So you always want to put a date behind your goals.The next part of setting your goals, you want to make sure they are trackable. And you like to share with me trackable. Okay, so you are saying when you’re very specific with your goal, and this builds, I’m talking high level goals. So you’re saying Okay, before I am, I’m an engineer, two or three right now, I’m going to be a supervisor, engineer, and then a department engineering manager, and then I will be the director of engineering and then I’ll be the VP of engineering, right? You may see all of those levels that you think you have to you think you have to have? And truthfully, you don’t you really don’t have to fill every single one of those roles, you could absolutely positively skip some of those steps. Right? So what does that look like? And what does that mean? That means for you, when you’re looking at something trackable? Is it okay, I wanted to hit that manager, I wanted to manage 20, a team of 20 or 25. It didn’t say you were going to be the manager of over 25 people that you want to have the experience of managing 25 people. And you want it somebody out of finance, maybe accounting marketing, and you want to be able to manage that team of people from different backgrounds working together on a project. And guess what happens? opportunity presents itself. But because you have it written down as to what you want to do, you say, you know what, I’ve never done it. But I know this is what I need, what I want to do in order to get to this long range goal, guess what you do? You go do it, and it’s trackable. Now you can say I’ve managed a small team or medium size, I don’t think really 25 is a small team. So it’s 25 people is a good amount of people to manage, trust me been there. Um, it’s a lot of stuff that goes on when you do that. Um, you may want to say you want to lead a project or manage a department that does $10 million or revenue a year, then that is trackable. Right? So be sure whatever you have written down has some way to measure it. Yes. Thank you. No, ELLs guard, I mean, Shelley. Okay, now, how does this look in everyday life? What are you doing, so you need to take daily actions towards these goals. And that daily action really comes up and not just showing up for work, but showing out at work, and you like, Michelle, that does not sound good. It does not? For the way, many of us may know it culturally. But what happens as women of color, they see us, but they don’t see us. So you have to be present and in the presence of people who are decision makers in your workplace. So those daily actions will include you not only attending meetings, but you adding value to meetings, you’re not only receiving emails, but you’re responding to emails with value and action, right? You’re not always taking action, you’re giving action items. So you want to take daily action that not only moves your career ahead, by doing work, we always do work, but you have to take action will get you noticed. So it’s truly truly important. We work hard, we do damn good work. But we need to be noticed outside of our supervisor who oftentimes will not tell anybody who is really doing the work within their team or their projects. And then oh, great job, your team get a drink. Okay, thank you. And they are getting a promotion and the raises and guess what you’re getting more work. So there’s a saying I’m more work gets you. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, right. More work gets you more work. So you have while you’re doing the work, be sure you’re being noticed. And you have to do this in your daily actions that can be networking at the coffee machine. That could be participating in out outside projects or things whether you’re doing volunteer work, it could be the softball team. You’re like Michelle, I don’t play sports. I don’t either. But sometimes you just do those things because you know, somebody in upper management is part of that team. And they know people join because they’re part of that team. But it’s a great way for you to be noticed and be known by this particular person or people who have authority, who have power within your organization and A lot of times within your industry, okay? Now the next thing you need to do, the next step is reviewing your progress. Where are you in hitting your goal?Right? And part of that is not beating yourself up. what’s truly saying, okay? This is where I plan to be. This is where I am, and really analyzing why you aren’t where you thought you’re going to be. Did you have personal things to come up? Were you told Oh, don’t worry about it. Don’t apply for that we have something else for you. Did you get laid off? What are the things that happened that may have delayed you making progress in you’re reaching that career goal? Others of you like, you know what, Michelle, I skipped some steps. And I’m ahead of where I am Yes, you still need to review why you are ahead of where you thought you would be. Because you want to continue to replicate that. And you won’t be able to replicate that if you don’t document it, if you don’t write it down, if you aren’t tracking it and reviewing it on a regular basis. Now. So we talked about Be specific having when you write your goals, having dates at your goals, because if you don’t have dates, those are just dreams. You want to make sure your goals are trackable that you’re taking daily actions to achieve your goals and that you are consistently reviewing your progress with your goals. But I have a bonus for you because I love bonuses. Don’t you love bonuses. It’s like getting an extra, a few extra fries in your bag, or I don’t know, an extra piece up of I don’t know, extra chicken strip or something. But what is a bonus? Okay, resources. When you’re developing your goals, what resources do you need. And those resources could be other people could be certifications, it could be a vacation, because you just really need to clear your mind. It could be a career coach, it could be a resume writer, what are the resources, you need to really move ahead, and you need to really list those down. And then kind of figure out at what stage you think you will need to have those resources, it could be mentors, you will need a sponsor at some point in time, right? Do you need to partner with other people within your organization, or within your industry, your friends to help you move ahead in your career. And the reason I really say resources, because a lot of times you need your spouse, your significant other and your children to be on board with you to make that progress. Because you will see that you will decrease your time with your family. But when you do have your time with the family, you want to shut everything off. So sometimes those resources also come in building a team that understand that when you go home, you’re home, you’re not responding to texts, phone calls and emails until you get back in the office, right? Or you may have a window between six and nine you don’t respond to anything and nine to 1030 you do and then you’re in bed by 11, right? Something like that. So write down the resources that you need to get ahead. And a lot of us need a team, right? So you may need a housekeeper. You may need an after school care, nanny, write those things down so that you understand other times you may need concierge services. So you need somebody picking up your groceries, you’re having groceries delivered to that we get delivery services that great your dry cleaning delivered, what are those things you really have to have in order for you to move ahead. And oftentimes we forget about these things. We have such bold and outstanding career goals and they really make me excited, we often forget about the resources that we need so that we still have great lives and we enjoy our downtime and our time with our family and time in the gym, or whatever I girlfriends. But it’s truly important that we also understand the resources we need to get us to where we want to be okay, so everybody this is mentor Monday I’m Michele Heyward woman of color stem civil engineer, and I have found it the tech company positive hire to help more women of color STEM professionals get management roles in corporate America. It is not about getting a job. It is about career advancement. And that is what I am here for you. Hey, I am just winding up but I appreciate everybody coming in tonight and joining me and I will see you next time. Bye bye bye.

What is going on everybody? This is Michele Heyward. And guess what? Let’s see. Let’s hope this works. Okay, got it tested. And let’s hope this comes out, but I’m Michele Heyward. am I calling sim civil engineer, founder of the tech company positive hire What is up Noel’s garden? So I went live and I did not have my microphone plugged in. So, now I’m like, it’s my sound working, it’s not working. Okay, and maybe I turned it down. Thank you so much for inviting your followers. So, so we are going to be talking about tonight. Being in a workplace that is, hey, being in a workplace whether it is an inclusive workplace versus an accepting workplace? What does that look like and how they’re different? And how do you cope in both of those? Hey, Chris. So, what I want to start with is let’s talk about what an inclusive workplaces because most of us have not worked in one. And we’re like, Michelle, what is that? What do you mean? What are you talking about? So an inclusive workplace, your differences, don’t stand out. The Way You Look, you talk your background, whatever it is, it doesn’t stand out and make you seem as though you’re an outlier. Actually, in a inclusive workplace, your differences are valued. The way you talk, the way you dress, the way you see the world all value. So it’s a different view. It’s a different viewpoint on how they, they respect. They respect your differences, whether it’s your fro, or back in the day when I had straight hair just I don’t know four or five years ago. It’s about you being a woman, a person of color, being a different religion to now they all see that as valuable to the organization. So when you’re in a closed, inclusive workplace, I like to describe it this way. And inclusive workplace is like a salad. And what I mean by a salad is there are different ingredients in a salad. And you know what they are, but to gether, they make a salad right? a cucumber is just a cucumber. romaine is just lettuce, spinach is just spinach. cru tones are just old Dale or toasted bread, right? Tomato is just a tomato. But when you bring those Things all together, you’re making a salad. And each one of those ingredients brings something different. Get delicious to that salad. And you appreciate every bite of that salad and everything that is different about those ingredients and it makes it work really well together. So an inclusive workplace. They’re not sitting there like oh, you a cucumber. Row you see him? Yeah, man I see. See him? They don’t it doesn’t do that. Okay, that’s row may romaine lettuce. Yeah, I get it. But anyway, it doesn’t they don’t focus on your differences like that. They look at your differences as invaluable to the organization. And another big thing about an inclusive workplace you’re less likely to feel isolated. Yes, does that feel like wonderful like hey, so what what what happens was you’re like, no No, no. Or when you will embrace oh my gosh, how did they do that with their hands? You know, you’re getting that. But in accepting workplace so you’re doing something different with your hair. Or when you come into an accepting workplaces, a new employee or new to that location new in a role, you will get what I call 21,000 questions. Well, so what kind of training have you done? Well, who have you worked for? Do you know how difficult it is here? We don’t do that here. You can’t you get told what you can do. Right? Well, are you sure they hire you to do that?
What do you mean that’s your office? You’re that shirt company or how do you get a staff you Question by multiple people about your abilities about your credentials about your experience. Like they interviewing you for the job that you already got hired for. Y’all. Let me tell you something, just what I’ve started doing. I said, so do you give out raises? What’s your bro? You probably report to me next week. I get your invoice. I can approve your timesheet. So right now, let me just say your time is gonna be real short. When you’re an accepting workplace, a lot of times you will get questioned over and over no matter how many years you’re there. Somebody’s always gonna be questioning you. Well, how did I literally had somebody asked, Well, how are you making more than me? And I’m nice to say What did you ask for a raise? Well, how much work experience so you have the person has zero work expense. Before they came working for this particular employer, I had four years. It was like, Oh, I was like Naboo. I’m not the one. So it’s really, when you’re an accepting workplace, you feel isolated. because number one, you can’t be mediocre. You have to be top of the game to be accepted by the mediocre people. That’s the sad part. Like the exceptional people may feel everybody may feel as though you’re a threat. But to do exceptionally well, you are with the mediocre people. But being accepted, you will see more of the diversity come and go in that organization. And what will happen is you will stay longer a lot of times to other people of color, especially women of color. If you’re accepted. It doesn’t mean You always get raises, it doesn’t mean you’ll always get the promotions you want. But you will generally see better opportunity than others who look like you whether they come in came in before you or after you in that employer. So then you have to sit there and decide how long do you want to stay in this accepted place. Because a lot of times, your Your time will run out. And it may be five years and maybe 10 years, it literally for somebody It was 20 years before their time ran out. And what happens when you’re accepted, your name gets mentioned, Oh, we got that one colored person. So your name gets mentioned in behind closed doors as the one you want to keep because you’ve been accepted. And you may get to see some of the other side of how businesses run. It’s not by credentials, it is simply by who you are connected to who is advocating for you That is an inclusive workplace, but that they have accepted you on on some level. And that exception truly, your work can beat a woman. Guess what? They still may not accept you. being accepted is is not there is no one way there is no one formula. But if it’s somebody in that organization that goes, you know, it’s it’s like high school, like if a popular kid says or a jock says Oh, that nerd over there is acceptable. They’re cool. That one nerd is on the inside. That one person from the band is cool. until somebody on the at that level, who does the accepting says that you’re accepted. You’re not accepted. No, it doesn’t equals Equity, it surely doesn’t. So, but but inclusion sometimes will mean you can come to work more at yourself, then being accepted. So what I mean by that when you’re an accepting workplace, you are more times than not conforming, or not even conforming, maybe more in line with that culture. In an inclusive workplace, the culture is created by the people because they value your differences. When it’s accepting that culture has now been created in a different way. Where in
being different is not acceptable. being different, you have to fit in on some level And that’s why your time Julie runs out because you are not acceptable on every level or as many levels as they have throughout the organization. So, what what this accepting looks look like? Let me let me just clarify, accepting, being accepted in a workplace does not mean you have your sellout. It does not mean you have done anything wrong. So, let me let me just clarify that. What it does mean you can have more opportunity, and the ability to do different things in that organization than others who look like you and you may even have power to bring about change
So what do I mean by that? So you may be able to hire more diverse candidates. But remember, you’re not an inclusive workplace. So this is what I want to tell you, most of us will find accepting workplaces and not inclusive workplaces. So these are three tips I have for you when it comes to walking into an employer that is not inclusive, and to look to see what it takes to be accepted. Because I’ve seen people who’ve been accepted in the workplace and they bounce. They’ve been in 1718 years. And you know what? They realize? Some that Oprah said, time’s up, and they’re out of there. Exactly. They literally know, his time’s up and then they leave. And this can be for various reasons. So one If you’re an accepting workplace, and you have made it except that side, know who your advocate is or why you made it over there, because if it is a particular person, if that person leaves the organization, you may find you’re no longer on the accepted side to what I call when let me not call it that you’re on the side we’re in you can become a casualty. You’ve gotten a little bit of comfort, you may still be seen as a threat, but you may have been more of a an asset to the person who got you to the excepted side. So you must always know who that person or persons are, because once they’re gone, you’re probably not gonna be far behind. Number two. Number two, know what you know. Yeah, like what the hell that mean? When we are in organizations, especially the longer we’re there, we become a hub of information we become a lot of times an expert at something, you need to know what you’re an expert. Because when you know what you’re an expert up, you can then position yourself for number three, to go work someplace else as an expert. So, know how you got to accept inside, know what the hell you know, and know how to position yourself in that industry. So what I mean by positioning yourself and this is what a lot of people don’t do. You need to be showing in your industry in a small niche, not just a hole in a small niche that you’re really good at something. Are you really good at? I’m conquering concrete. Like you can write up the bass comment. creat mix design, right? For for some really great peer foundations and different things right? Is that your thing as a structure engineer? Are you really good at going and setting up new facilities that are manufacturing products and nobody else has set up a new facility before and you know how to set up all the equipment. You know how to make sure people go through. The employees are okay, they’re safe, and they aren’t hurting themselves from doing the same movement over. Are you really good at pulling projects back on, on time on schedule and within budget? Know what you’re really good at because when you do and a lot of times you don’t realize what you know. But others do and this is how you can find a witch how you can find out what you’re really good at what the hell they always asking you to do and they may not be giving you credit for Well, okay, you weren’t late and pull that together. Hey, such and such said on the last project you did this. Hey, they said when you were down in Louisiana you did that. They said when you were out in LA, you did this. People when people are talking about you, and they come to you telling you to they’re talking about you, and what they are saying about you note that because that is what they’re seeing as your strength as to what you bring to the organization, and probably why you got accepted. Mm hmm. Now, they may not have given you a raise on what you’re really good at, and they may not have given you a promotion because you’re really good at stuff.
That’s a whole other discussion but There Katie usually asking you to do the same thing over and over again. This is how you know what you’re an expert in, if you haven’t figured it out yet. So position yourself when you’re writing up, blogs, white papers, you’re going up discussing projects, to our work that you’re doing an industry with your employer or clients, so that people are seeing you differently. Because the more you hide behind the computer screen, the less likely people want to know what you worked on. So one great place to go. That makes it really easy is LinkedIn to do a blog post there just once a month, do about 750 words, maybe start now 500 men working to 1000 words where you’re discussing an issue and you can give three steps in the first blog. Then the next block the next month, you go into more detail on step one After that you go into detail on step two to month after that you go in detail on step three. But when people search for your name, they can read exactly what you’re good at. So no longer are you waiting for a headhunter to find you that hiring manager for your next opportunity is actually messing you because they see the value you bring. That doesn’t mean you won’t be getting 21,000 questions at the new employer, but it does help you find your next role and going and finding that inclusive workplace. Well, let’s just say I’m working on it. I’m working on making sure women of color STEM professionals find those inclusive workplaces. That’s why I created my tech company, because I want more of us there. I want few of us in accepting workplaces, more of us in inclusive workplace. Because at the end of the day, I don’t want you to fear. Wear your hair in a fro. So you wore a wig to your interview, I don’t want you to fear them knowing that you’re a mother of three and have a partner of the same gender. I don’t want you to fear them knowing that you may not have the money that you want in your current role, because you don’t ask them for a hell a lot more in this upcoming role they’re offering you Okay. That is everything I have today, everybody. Thank you so much for joining me. I will be back again next week for another mentor Monday. I don’t know which. Tweet me if you have an idea of what you want to learn about what you want me to talk about. I love taking requests. And until then, everybody have a great week.