Here's An Idea!

Dave and Joel do their best to educate Roy on the wasted potential of male nipples, the Cosby Matrix, the relative heights of various boys (especially Rob), and the origins of the Celtic Knot. It’s a duplicitous and dubious affair.

Roy is here. To celebrate his arrival, The Boys™ talk about recent adventures at the Rooster and Hen Convention™ and The Annual Video Convention™, as well as Junior, Benjamin Button, Cars 3 and other movies that make boys cry.

It’s a two-boy pod this week! With Dave and Kris at The Annual Video Convention™, Rob and Joel do their best to figure out… what actually goes on at The Annual Video Convention™. SPOILERS: They DO NOT figure it out. They also discuss professional Minecraft YouTuber tours and how Aerosmith can stay relevant in the age of TikTok. ADDITIONAL SPOILERS: They can’t.

This week The Boys™ are practicing their airplane accents, learning how to do impressions with mouth marbles, and celebrating the shit out of the 4th of July. There’s also military dogs, Hitler’s Ham Tanks and exploding hotdogs! If that doesn’t sound like a podcast, what does? WHAT DOES?!

I hope you like BIG CHANGES™, Podophiles, because BIG CHANGES™ are a’coming, courtesy of Ms. Explosm. Before we get into that, we’ve got: Rob Schneider’s organs, school dances, Zach Efron is the Ubermensch, FMK Nic Cage/Ghostrider, which of The Boys™ can secretly breakdance, and how to hide your dance boner!

The Boys™, sans Joel, can barely contain their glee at the thought of a Mrs. Explosm-free day! Whatever will they do with their time? Why, discuss such topics as Joel's weird knees, volcano envy, penis roulette, Smokey Joe's barbecue and Lion King cloud powers of course!

I hope you came ready to learn, Podophiles, but this episode is educational AF. We’ve got everything you need to know about face tattoos, Kevin McAllister: Party Monster and Pete & Pete. Plus The Boys™ Invent a great new derogatory term for Americans, a new slogan for the Dallas Pride Festival and a new, all-purpose catchphrase! Finally, they’ll teach you how any group of little boys is a little gay, how porn should be nicer to ladies and what happens when a blind, deaf bank robber, well... robs a bank.

Once again, Dave and Joel find themselves alone in a hole. But this hole doesn’t contain emails or noise. No, it contains nothing but their own dark, contemplative thoughts. Thoughts like: What’s up with bad neighbors? Is this behavior normal, or just Dave? Can we get our aggression in check? Why does Dave think he grew up in Game of Thrones? How do we deal with babies on flights? Vigo The Carpathian or Vigo The Channing Tatum? And, finally, is it true? DOES this man have no dick? Settle down and get comfy, cuz it’s time to TALK TO WALL.

Podophiles it’s time to reinvent the concept of modern cinema, starting with film adaptations of Dick Dock vs. Dig Dug, Darren Aronofsky’s Dr. Mario, George Foreman Grill: The Movie, The Yaoi Babadook, and that Schwarzenegger archeology-adventure classic, Diggin’ Up My Great Great Great Grandpa’s Bones. Let’s do lunch to work out the deets. Have your people call my people, then my people will fax me in my limo which they are not allowed in.

Pop quiz, hotshot! Which fighting video game character would you fuck? What do you do if a friend sends you porn they think you would like? Are your MSN and Hotmail accounts still active? Is Chris Pine a butthole-seeking homunculoid? What movies took place in the distant future of 2019? What was Mr. DNA really up to?! Ok, pass your papers to your neighbor and we’ll grade them as a class.