People love to say, “They just need to get a job,” “They just need to stop using,” “They just need to grow up.”

Cool. With what tools?

In this episode, I talk about how we learn (or don’t learn) basic life skills: coping, showing up, respecting people, self-regulating, making decent choices even when no one’s watching. We act like those are automatic, but they’re taught. By someone. On purpose. Over years.

And a lot of people just… never got that.

We get into:

If you’ve ever said “they just need to ___,” this one’s for you.

Takeaway: You cannot expect someone to use tools they were never given. Have a little grace — and if you can help, help in a way that serves them, not your ego.

A lighter Friday run-through of the things I actually use and love — from my 15-year-old Shark vacuum and a no-knob GE Café cooktop to EGO lawn gear, Gorilla Carts, dehumidifiers, and one tragic pendant-light rant. Oh, and my girrrrl Beula. Zero sponsors. Just honest yays (and a couple nays).

Today’s episode is an origin story with the edges left on. I pick up a chapter I once wrote called “Being Born,” and talk through the real beginning: born out of wedlock, a name that wasn’t my father’s, in and out of foster care, a near-adoption, and a kind, brilliant mother who didn’t have the tools. I share how a steady farmhouse (thank you, Beverly), a big-hearted sister (hi, Denise), and a stubborn streak of resilience kept me from breaking—and how early trauma twisted my sense of worth until I learned to untangle it. This isn’t an autobiography; it’s context for why I care so much about helping people navigate life without a script. The headline I’ve earned: survival informs adaptation, and beginnings don’t dictate endings. If your story feels chaotic, you’re not broken—you’re mid-chapter.

We’ll lighten it up on Friday. For now, breathe, give yourself some credit, and be kind (even when people are… a lot).

Content note: brief mentions of childhood sexual abuse.

A candid catch-up after a long pause: career pivots, idea overload, and the messy middle of not knowing. I talk anxiety, dopamine chasing, cutting projects, and choosing focus—plus why home “sanctuary” matters when life feels uncertain.