High Five: The Podcast

Hey, everypony, it's time once again to join Q, J, and A for a Take Three Review, this time setting our sights outside the world of Stephen King and into the world of Equestria for an in-depth review of My Little Pony: The Movie. We dusted off our cutie marks (or in our case, Q-tee marks) and joined Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinky Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity (yeah, we know their names) for an animated adventure to stop pony-on-pony crime. Once again, we offer perspectives from three distinct levels of familiarity and along the way even choose which My Little Pony hero we relate to most. You don't want to miss this SpooktoberweenTacular Treat episode because we have a Trick one coming your way on Halloween!

Editor's Note: Strangely, the sound mix at the beginning of the episode makes us sound like little girls. We think it's just the magic of friendship.

It's that scary time of year when ghosts, ghouls, and TV show Halloween episodes start to rise from their graves. And no, we're not referencing High Five's annual SpooktoberweenTacular, we're talking about when your favorite TV shows give us that amazing gift of a Halloween-themed episode to fill that insatiable sweet-tooth we all get in October. On this frightful new episode, J & Q delve into our favorite TV shows and rank which ones gave us the best treats and which ones gave us horrifying tricks. You might be surprised by which shows "make the cut" or maybe you guessed the killer in the first scene (hint: it's Shawn, it's always Shawn).

When we aren't seeking out mysterious murderers or slutty pumpkins, Q & J play probably the spookiest game in the history of the show and come up with alternate versions of your favorite jingles to make them more about Q. Things are about to get dark and scary, so you'd better listen to this before the monsters come knocking. Trust us, they're fans too.

Long days and pleasant nights, pleasure seekers. We've gathered our King Ka-Tet once again for another Take Three Review of a Stephen King adaptation, only this time we forgot our handcuff keys, which is a problem when you're watching Mike Flanagan's Gerald's Game. We stay shackled to this Netflix psychological thriller by talking about Moonlight Men, handcuff preferences, and what you have to do in life to deserve to die and be eaten by dogs. Trust us, it's all relevant to a couple in the twilight of their lives having a sexy weekend in a cabin...somehow. How many Gerald's Game puns can we make? How many ear necklaces out of five will our hosts rate this movie? How will we live after seeing Elliot from E. T. do unspeakable things? You'll just have to find out by listening to our spoiler-full Take Three Review, or by hallucinating Bruce Greenwood talking down to you. It's up to you.

It's that time of year again, Halloween time! And that means that your haunted hosts will be stuffing their eyeballs with horror movies. From Elm St. nightmares to arctic stomach mouths, all the way to ghostly mansions with polite ghosts. Having watched so many scary movies, your experts Q & J tackle the most mind-boggling lingering questions, plot holes, and ambiguous endings that the masters of fright have left us with throughout the years. How did Bruce Willis not know he was dead in The Sixth Sense? When did Michael Myers learn to drive? What the hell is up with that guy in the dog costume in The Shining? We tackle these and so many more while telling you everything you always needed to know about horror movies.

The inspector paces the room, piecing together the clues of the murder mystery, when suddenly he turns dramatically to the camera and exclaims, "I know who did it!" On this suspenseful new episode, J & Q have gathered the suspects into the library of the mansion they are squatting in and are finally ready to reveal the clues that led them to their Top 5 Murder Mystery Movies of all time! Was it Professor Plum with the candlestick or Agatha Christie with the typewriter? Does David Fincher direct the best modern-day mysteries? Did, after everything, the butler really do it? You'll have to tune in to find out.

At some point, your inspector-hosts take a break from solving murders to play a rousing game of Mystery Match by finishing each other's sentences and J tries out some shitty new accents. Everyone has a motive on High Five: The Podcast, so the only question now is...are you next?

Ahoy, mateys! It's time to don your eyepatches and peg legs and head out on the High Five Seas with Q and J. But hold onto your butts, this time, we're welcoming aboard a very special guest, Pirate Sean! In honor of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, all three swashbucklers will be discussing the portrayal of pirates in film and TV: the good, the bad, and the Pirates of the Carribean. We navigate the treacherous waters of Pirate Pun Bay, through the Straight of Bad Impressions, and do a bit of sunbathing in the Devil's Toenail. You land lubbers will have to decide who tells the worst pirate jokes (hint: it's Q) and which of our pirate movie pitches you'd want to watch. Join us on our adventure on the seven seas or we'll make you walk the plank.

Long days and pleasant nights, constant streamers. We're back on the Path of the Turtle for another Take Three Review of a Stephen King adaptation, this time heading into the sewers of Derry to take on IT. We've collected our very own Loser's Club to venture into Andy Muschietti's take on this classic novel, once again bringing three different viewpoints to the table: a recent reader/lover of only the novel, a die-hard fan of the 1990s miniseries, and our resident Stephen King über-fan of both the novel and miniseries. Not only do we dive into whether or not we liked the movie, but we discuss where Muschietti diverted from the source novel, try our hand at Pennywise impressions, and answer the age-old question of whether or not IT forever ruined the reputation of upstanding sewer clowns. This episode is full of spoilers and clowns, so beware, but after everything, we find out if we all really do float down here.

In every lifetime, a plague attacks our society. The plague of our Hollywood lifetime's name is Akiva Goldsman. Here on High Five: The Podcast, we love to love movies, but there seems to be an individual that always wants to stand in the way of our enjoyment by making movies so bad, they make us question whether or not we actually like movies. After J & Q's recent viewing of The Dark Tower, we could no longer stay silent on this walking travesty and put together lists of the Top 5 Worst Akiva Goldsman Movies. Why does Ron Howard keep hiring Akiva Goldsman to write his movies? What hope do we, humans with eyeballs, have to sidestep the nonsensical garbage that Akiva writes when he seems to be involved in everything that hits the silver screen? It's a tough reality, but your hosts will help you navigate things.

When they tire of talking about bad movies, Q & J play the always popular game Food Poisoning or Akiva Goldsman Review. Spoiler alert: one of the hosts is MUCH better at it than the other. We'll get back to talking about good movies next week, but we could no longer stay silent. You know what they say, "For Akiva Goldsman to win, all it takes is good podcasters to stay silent."

We all lose things (keys, marbles, lunches, bowels), and with all the memories we have of amazing Bill Murray movies, it's easy to forget that there was a period of time when he wasn't the cultural landmark that he is now, a lost period, if you will. The time period we are talking about is 1993 through roughly 1999. You're probably thinking to yourself "Q and J, you guys are crazy, I've ALWAYS loved Bill Murray," and you are probably right, but have you seen Mad Dog & Glory? What about Larger Than LIfe or With Friends Like These...? Did you even remember he was in Wild Things and Cradle Will Rock? Of course you haven't/didn't, that's why High Five: The Podcast has lovingly named this period "Bill Murray's Lost Years." On Part 2 of our Bill Murray love-fest trilogy of episodes, J & Q dive into these movies lost to time and memory to see what was going on and which movies, if any, stand the test of time (Spoiler Alert: Space Jam certainly does).

Long days and pleasant nights, constant streamers. It's finally here, our seemingly unending path of the Beam to the release of The Dark Tower starring Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey. On this very special episode of High Five: The Podcast, we've gathered our Ka-Tet for a viewing party of this anticipated epic and will let you listen in on our unfiltered thoughts of Nikolaj Arcel's adaptation of Stephen King's magnum opus series. For this in-depth review, we've gathered three different viewpoints: a Dark Tower book series über-fan, a casual reader of some of the books, and a total Mid-World noobie, to dive into topics like "Does this work as a film if you haven't read the books?", "How will this movie play for King's constant readers?", and "Why aren't there more talking raccoons in The Dark Tower?" Whether you know nothing about the movie or books and just have a crush on Idris Elba (guilty!), or whether you've been tracking this film for the past 10 years of production missteps, this episode has just what you're searching for.