Long live Queen James I of England!

James, as our guest Guy Branum notes this week, was always a little “dyke-y”.

Obsessed with love and relationships, she ruled Scotland and England entirely from her heart – and through her loins. James was known above all for promoting his male favourites to intolerable positions of power and wealth.

The rest of the court loathed these scheming twinks. But George Villiers, the most successful of them all, was particularly devastating to James’ credibility.

Tune into Part One to learn about James I's sleazy Scottish beginnings, and prepare for our next episode on George Villiers, his faggiest favourite!

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Welcome to our queer book club! Here's your cat and gluten-free martini, please have a seat.

This week we're discussing Virginia Woolf's suicide (it's my Roman Empire), giant red leather dildos, and the realization that sex between women may be the greatest threat to masculinity in 10,000 years.

You'll find it all and more, you greedy guts, in our hilarious and fascinating interview with Kirsty Loehr, the author and queer historian behind A Short History of Queer Women.

Kirsty's 2,500-year romp through lesbian, bisexual, and trans history will grab you by the mind-pussy (WITH CONSENT) from start to finish.

Featuring more than 100 overlooked queer women and trans men from all over the world, Kirsty's wry and witty tome shows us that queerness has reared its bedazzled head in every era before our own.

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Episode Credits:

Writing & Research: Bash

Editing: Alex Toskas

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Historical Homos is back! This week we cover George Sand, who was, get this, a woman! And a writer! And queer!

George wrote over 70 novels and plays between 1804 and 1876, during which she witnessed the rise and fall of SEVEN political regimes in France. When she wasn't busy writing about women's oppression and worker's rights, she was actively rubbing shoulders (and genitals) with Paris' liberal media elite.

And she did it all traipsing around in men's clothes, bedding a hot actress named Marie Dorval, and falling in love with luminaries like Frederic Chopin and Alfred de Musset.

Which begs the question, what have you ever done?

Our guest this week is the brilliant playwright and actress Léa Des Garets, whose new play GEORGE portrays our heroine in all her queer glory. Catch it in London at the Omnibus Theatre this June.

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This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Bash and Lea Des Garets, and edited by Alex Toskas.

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Welcome to Season 3, Hormones!

Bash is thrilled to be sharing the mic this week with a dear friend and hysterical comedia, Rachel Joravsky, to talk about a fascinating and oft-overlooked group: Ancient. Jewish. Lesbians.

Rachel is a TV writer, comedian, activist, educator, and self-acclaimed "power Jewess," so naturally we took a gay look at The Book of Ruth together (shout out to all the Ketuvim) to uncover what is so "queer" about two women living together and raising a baby on their farm. (Hint: a lot.)

We also delve into the medieval Rabbinic scholars' views on how to deal with lesbians (hint: flogging), and we cap it all off with the story of a modern day Ruth and Naomi in honor of our guest's Jewish Socialist tendencies.

Pauline Newman and Frieda Miller raised their daughter together in Greenwich Village in the 1920s and were fundamental to the US Labor movement's inclusion of women's rights. As always, come for the fabulously sexy history and stay for the jokes about Jewish pu$$y ("It's Chosen," says Rachel.)

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This episode was written, researched, and hosted by Bash, and edited by Alex Toskas.

Welcome to PERIOD PIECE, our new monthly feature where Lucy is on her period and Bash makes her watch a historical film. Because education 👏 never 👏 stops.

This week, we're reviewing an old favorite called "The Favourite" (God, I'm a poet). Starring Rachel Weisz, Olivia Colman, and Emma Stone, this sultry romp follows an alleged love triangle that rocked 18th century England. It's the story of Queen Anne, last royal of the Stuart line, and the rugmunching rivalry of her court favorites: Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough, and Abigail Masham, Baroness...something.

But how much of the film is true to history? Who served the fiercest c*nt in life vs. onscreen? And most importantly, who read whomst to truest filth? Come for the bisexy history and stay for our Top Five Period Moments in all the familiar menstrual categories: Sex, Tears, Violence, Misogyny, and our favorite, Quippery & Bitchery.

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This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Bash and Lucy Hendra, and edited by Ross Brennan.

Where the F do gendered bathrooms come from? To literally no one’s surprise, public bathrooms only became available to people who are not cis men a couple hundred years ago. Because guess what? If you can't pee in public, you can't BE in public for very long.

The lack of public restrooms for women in particular has been a central and often-overlooked foundation of the patriarchy, which demands that women stay at home. But people (read: conservatives) have also used the public restroom to attack gay men, Black people, and more recently, trans people.

Bathroom policing isn't really about biological difference or the threat of sexual violence. It's about the privileged few deciding who does and doesn't get to exist in public. Tune in to discover this shitty history, so we can start flushing it into the past where it belongs.

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This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Bash and Lucy Hendra, and edited by Alex Toskas.

Wilkommen, bienvenue! Actually just bienvenue. Because yes, we are once again plunging you into another insufferably French episode, where Bash and Lucy compete for the "Best Francophone" Award no one offered.

This week, we examine the life, luxuries, and labial exploits of Françoise Raucourt, one of 18th century Paris' most iconic lesbian actresses. La Raucourt catapulted to fame at the age of 16, and stayed in the public eye plus ou moins for the next 40 years.

Renowned for her lavish spending as much as her riotous rugmunching, she survived the fall of France's royals, the Revolution, and the Napoleonic Chode himself with sapphic savvy.

We'll also explain in this episode how the 18th century turned Bash gay, because you are clearly dying to know.

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This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Bash and Lucy Hendra, and edited by Alex Toskas.

China has loved the "passion of the cut sleeve" - an ancient euphemism for dude-on-dude dicking - since the literal Han Dynasty (the era not the restaurant).

Beautiful stories abound in Chinese literature and history of queer love, from doting emperors to divine influencers in the spirit world. We are of course primarily concerned with the latter.

Tu'Er Shen, or "Rabbit God," got his start as a lowly bureaucrat in 18th century China, but now he presides over all our gay relationships, thanks to his connections in the Afterlife. You will want him on your team, so tune in to this week's episode and learn how to please capital H-I-M.

We'll also cover gay marriage in 17th century China because frankly we're the only journalists prepared to do so.

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This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Bash and Lucy Hendra, and edited by Alex Toskas.

It's time to ruin that Columbussy! This week we are trampling on the reviled memory of Christopher Columbus, in honor of the Queer Indigenous Peoples of the Americas who are - say it with me - MUCH, MUCH COOLER. Bitchy Bash is joined by Illiterate Lucy to explore the five genders of Indigenous civilizations, the rise of the berdache and one "Nameless Hermaphrodite," and a brief glance at the ancient Aztec god of flowers, sex, gays, and magic mushrooms. (Beat that, sweetie.) As always, we conclude that white people have basically ruined everything. But not before we uncover the greatest Two-Spirit trailblazers of the last 500 years.

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This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Lucy Hendra and Bash, and edited by Alex Toskas.

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Ladies and gentler ladies, please welcome your new Historical Homos co-host: Lucy Hendra! Lucy is bravely and openly straight, a woman (technically), and has seen every episode of Vanderpump Rules ever written. (Yes, written. #WGAStrong)

Now, why does that qualify her to be on this podcast? No one knows, and no one cares. Least of all our subject this week: Alexander the Great, Murdering, Bisexual Fuckboy. We are taking it back to Ancient Greece because that's where Bash feels safe. Plus, the parallels between his life and Alexander's are just straight up freaky! You'll also discover what Grindr tribes Alexander had on his profile, whether eunuchs can pee or not, and why Lucy should ultimately apologize to Bash for everything straight people have done wrong in history.

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This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Lucy and Bash, and edited by Alex Toskas.