On this episode, we're going to meet certified whore Peggy Eaton. She is such a whore that she literally ruins Andrew Jackson's trash cabinet. Ellen and Emily are absolutely in awe of her. Also on this episode: an analysis of Countess Luann, Emily's lil crush on Martin Van Buren, and Ellen goes absolutely OFF about...Keys? It's the Jacksonian Era and we're gong to SLURP IT UP.

We're back and we're going to the 1970's to discuss the Disability Rights Movement. Ellen introduces us to human goddess Judy Heumann, who leads the fight for the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act. As always, there are dumbass men who are like "but we don't want to pay for ramps :(" Well, Judy shows them WHAT'S WHAT.

On Episode V, Ellen and Emily are going to ancient Egypt to learn about the origin story of our girl Cleopatra VII. Her family literally lives for the drama. We've got sex, lies, and literal murder. Stay tuned for our discussion on whether Carole Baskin is a feminist icon or just...yikes.

On this episode, Emily and Ellen discover what makes Catherine, empress of Russia, so darn great! Learn how this precocious child survived a horrible mom and wowed Frederick the Great. Then, we'll go absolutely off on her stupid, shit-mouthed, pox-faced husband, Peter. Along the way, Emily and Ellen will discuss why we love store credit, why we stan the Dixie Chicks, and why we have personal issues with Kate Gosselin. Slurp it up, my quaranqueens.

Today, Emily and Ellen learn about certified troll doll, Caligula. The 3rd Roman emperor was up to all kinds of shenanigans, ranging from eating flamingo meat to fighting a literal war against the ocean. We've got murder, we've got incest, we've got a horse senator. Come slurp it up already!

In our first episode, we meet psycho Gemini Jean Paul Marat. He's ugly, he's weird, he lives in the bath (Emily loves him). Then we've got Charlotte Corday, a Leo. She's hot, she's determined, she's a Neoliberal (Ellen loves her). These two frenemies go absolutely OFF (like King Louis's head amiright??) It's the French Revolution and there are no rules.