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Holiday gatherings promise connection, but so many of us walk in bracing for old patterns: the comment that lands like a dart, the sibling rivalry that never grew up, the invisible work of keeping the peace. In this episode, I delve into  why this season can feel so raw and how to survive it when your family reunions don't resemble a Hallmark card.

I also talk about this year’s surge in anxiety and grief, the rise in estrangement, and the isolation that lingers after the holiday lights come down in January. This time might be stressful under normal circumstances, but it's a whole other thing when you have dysfunctional or even "toxic" family.

If you're stuck in old unhealthy patterns with your family, you might not realize how much holding onto a "healing fantasy" is keeping you trapped. I unpack the concept of a “healing fantasy,” that deep, often hidden wish that a parent will finally see you, a sibling will get help, or conflict will stop for good. Then I suggest some practical tools from DBT that will get you focused on what really matters to you this holiday season.

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• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com