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What if you've tried everything, but are still depressed? Did you know that  one third of people with depression don’t get enough relief from antidepressants? In this episode, I talk to psychiatrist and CMO of Neuronetics, Dr. Geoffrey Grammer, about what should people do when our mainstream treatments for depression fails us. He sheds light on new advancements for treatment-resistant depression: transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) and nasal esketamine, two evidence-based treatments that target the brain differently and raise the odds after meds stall.

We first talk about just how disappointing traditional medications and psychotherapies can be for chronically depressed patients. Then, Dr. Grammer explains how TMS works (precise, noninvasive brain stimulation that strengthens underactive mood circuits), what a session feels like, timelines for improvement, and why side effects are minimal compared to systemic drugs. We also explore nasal esketamine (Spravato) and how it works. Along the way, we dig into augmentation meds, common pitfalls, and the role of psychotherapy in turning short-term gains into lasting change.

Real patient stories ground the science in hope: remission after years of struggle, renewed presence with family, and the hard-won confidence that life can feel different. If you’ve tried two antidepressants without clear progress or hate the side effects, your next step shouldn’t be “another pill” - it should be to advocate for yourself with your providers and explore these new options.

Resources:

• NeuroStar website: https://neurostar.com/
• NeuroStar's assessment quiz for depression: https://neurostar.com/self-assessment-for-depression/
• Find a doctor page: https://neurostar.com/enter-zip-code/?as=0
• Connect to Dr. Grammer on social:
  • https://www.instagram.com/NeuroStarAdvancedTMS/
  • https://www.facebook.com/NeuroStarAdvancedTMS/
  • https://www.youtube.com/user/NeuroStarTMSTherapy

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What if the “problem behavior” you see- anger, anxiety, avoidance, endless scrolling- is your kid’s way of shielding against something deeper? In this episode, I chat with Dr. Marcus Rodriguez, director of the Youth and Family Institute and tenured professor at Pitzer College, about what parents can do when their young adult children struggle with adulting. We dig into when these young adults hit a wall, their nervous systems recruit anger, anxiety, and shame to avoid the pain of “I can’t.” Understanding that function changes how we respond at home.

With DBT expert Dr. Rodriguez, we unpack why this generation can be deeply caring and also overwhelmed by information designed to agitate. From algorithm-driven feeds that reward outrage to climate fear and economic uncertainty, young people face a flood of threats their brains aren’t built to regulate alone. We talk about wild cases of kids getting trapped in upsetting content loops and what media literacy and parent coaching can do to break that cycle.

We translate big ideas into everyday moves that you can use with your kids today. If you’re parenting a teen in their room, a college student off-track, or a 20-something stuck in avoidance, this conversation offers a practical, hopeful roadmap. 

If you need more help knowing what to do to help your children struggling with emotions, join KulaMind.

Resources:

• Dr. Rodriguez provides family DBT through his clinic in Los Angeles, Youth and Family Institute. 

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever walk away from a conversation feeling like the villain in someone else’s story? In this episode, I dig into projection—the defense that pushes a person’s unwanted traits and feelings onto you—and show how it warps reality, fuels gaslighting, and leaves loved ones doubting their own character.

I break down the differences between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder in plain terms: emotion dysregulation versus self-image dysregulation, and how people with both disorders often project  onto their loved ones. I also talk about my training in Transference Focused Psychotherapy to illustrate how expert clinicians address patients who don't want to take accountability for their own insecurities.

Even if you're not a trained clinician, I share practical strategies for defending against someone's projection, like how to reality-check without spiraling, validate feelings without accepting a false story, resist over-explaining when logic won’t land, and set boundaries. If you love someone who struggles with BPD, NPD, or emotional immaturity, this episode helps you stay steady, compassionate, and clear about who you are.

*If this topic resonates and you're struggling with someone who's making you feel blamed and confused, book a free call with me (Dr. Kibby) to learn how KulaMind can get you grounded in your reality again.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Little Helpers, this is a new era for this community: This is my first episode as the solo host of "A Little Help For Our Friends." It's Dr. Kibby and we're saying goodbye to my beloved co-host, Jacqueline Trumbull as she moves on from this podcast. This will be a new phase focused on what made this community matter from day one: centering caregivers, loved ones, people-pleasers, and supporters who carry the unseen weight of mental illness and addiction.

I revisit the show’s roots in evidence-based tools and how it grew into something braver—real stories about dating, divorce, near-death experiences, and the messy work of healing. I cover ethical storytelling, protecting privacy, and navigating the fallout when personal narratives collide with public platforms, including (gasp!) a legal threat.

The heart of this episode explores identity and roles: how duos create chemistry and cages, how therapists are trained to be “non-persons,” and why an audience hungers for a human voice over a blank slate. I lay out where we’re headed next—deep dives into secure attachment, nervous system regulation, family dynamics, and communication that actually works—alongside a slate of guests from neuroscience, therapy, and creative fields. Expect practical skills, warmer storytelling, and more of the full person behind the mic, from Berlin chapters to yoga studios to the moments that don’t come packaged as lessons.

This show remains the official podcast of KulaMind, a community made for loved ones who want connection, skills, and a place to be seen. It's also the company I literally built from my bed while trying to beat cancer.

Little Helpers, this is your space- Share your stories, tell me when I'm wrong, and shape what comes next. Email me at [email protected].

 If this podcast has helped you feel less alone—or if you’re just finding us now—subscribe, leave a five-star review, and pass the episode to a friend who needs a steady voice today. It's our time now.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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To open Season 6 with a bang, we start where most hot takes end: with a self-aware narcissist describing his collapse, the shame behind the mask, and the painstaking choices that made empathy real. Jordan Monroe, a former tech founder turned emotional healing coach, joins us to explore a grounded path out of grandiosity, defensiveness, and reality wars—without dismissing the deep harm survivors endure.

We dig into what actually shifts behavior. Jordan explains why many narcissists don’t lack empathy so much as defend against it, and how guided “heart-opening” experiences help clients feel another person’s pain without spiraling. That visceral “ow” moment rewires daily habits: listening before defending, noticing a partner’s needs without being asked, and choosing small acts of care that build trust. 

If you love someone with narcissistic traits, the boundary playbook here is essential. Jordan’s partner models how to stop self-abandoning: pause conversations when defensiveness spikes, withdraw energy from harmful dynamics, and nourish yourself so re-engagement comes from strength. We share practical, incremental boundaries that keep you safe and force clarity, whether the relationship heals or you exit whole. For anyone navigating narcissistic abuse, healing narcissism, or rebuilding intimacy, this is a compassionate, no-nonsense guide anchored in accountability.

Don't miss this episode, as this is our last episode with Jacqueline Trumbull! Stay tuned for the next episode that'll map out the road ahead for "A Little Help For Our Friends"

Resources:

• Heal Narcissism: Jordan's program 
• Jordan's Instagram @the.recovering.narcissist
• If you're experiencing narcissistic abuse or affected by someone else's narcissism, join Dr. Kibby's KulaMind community to learn how to heal and set healthy boundaries. 

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!

What happens when the hamster wheels we've been running on suddenly stop spinning? In this raw and deeply personal Season 5 finale, we pull back the curtain on our own mental health journeys over the past year, revealing the profound transformations that occur when life forces you to confront your deepest wounds.

Dr. Kibby shares her post-cancer emotional reckoning, describing how surviving treatment was just the beginning of her healing journey. The conversation turns to our viral self-hatred episode, exploring what happens when you finally see the wounds that have defined your life- and the grief that comes with that awareness.

Meanwhile, Dr. Jacqueline reflects on her transformative year completing psychology internship in New York, finding healing and validation after years of feeling misaligned in the public eye.

We dive into fertility struggles, entrepreneurial fears, and the startling gender divide we've witnessed on social media. Dr. Kibby talks about what it's been like to build KulaMind for loved ones of people with mental illness, and stumbling upon the epidemic of women desperate for help with their angry, alcoholic, and shut-down partners. 

Have topic suggestions for Season 6? Click on "send us a text" link at the top of this page to send us a message or email us at [email protected]. We'll be back in early October 2025 with fresh insights and conversations to support you in supporting your loved ones through mental health challenges.

***If you need help dealing with your loved ones' mental health, emotional or addiction issues, join the KulaMind Community. We hold your hand through the hardest moments, teach you every proven tactic we know, and make sure you NEVER feel alone again.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!

What happens when two skeptical psychologists take a deep dive into the world of manifestation? In this episode, we take a look at what "manifestation" is, what is actually based in science...and then we try manifesting for real. 

We start by acknowledging our initial skepticism about the idea that you can get everything you want just by thinking about it- a practice that became popular from the book "The Secret." But as we peel back the layers, we discover powerful psychological mechanisms that explain why some manifestation practices genuinely work.

Through stories ranging from Jim Carrey's famous $10 million check to trust fund influencers selling "relaxed rich" lifestyles, we explore how self-fulfilling prophecies shape our reality. The science is clear: our internal narratives affect everything from body language to risk-taking behavior, creating tangible consequences in our external world. We talk about different manifestation techniques like visualization, journaling, and affirmations to see what's based in science and what's snake oil.

We even conduct a live manifestation experiment, combining breathing techniques with visualization, resulting in surprising personal insights about blocks to success. We discovery why changing your self-talk might be the most powerful step toward changing your reality with no mystical vibrations required.

And if you want to learn actual evidence-based skills for connecting deeper to yourself and others, check out KulaMind. 

As a bonus, growing the @kulamind community is what Kibby manifests in this episode so...you'll be showing the power of manifestation by joining :)

Resources:

• The book that started it all: Byrne, R. (2011). The secret. simon and schuster.
• Example of a manifestation influencer Kibby talks about: https://www.instagram.com/jasminmankecoaching
• The meditation series Jacqueline talks about: https://open.spotify.com/show/74VqceuJUvRLIYQ0ZVbAv8?si=13V-FQMlTM-PGdfD_mnLcQ

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Do you have a family member, friend or roommate whose relationship to food is a little...concerning? Eating disorders hide in plain sight, often disguised as diet culture, fitness goals, or "healthy eating." But beneath these socially acceptable lifestyles lie deadly mental health conditions that claim more lives than almost any other psychiatric disorder.

In this episode, we break down the clinical realities of various eating disorders while exploring the profound ways they impact both individuals and their loved ones. We examine anorexia's deadly grip and how it combines food restriction with a distorted body image so powerful that even severely underweight individuals see themselves as fat. The disorder's perfectionism and need for control create a psychological prison that's hard to escape.

We discuss bulimia's binge-purge cycle, where out-of-control eating episodes are followed by compensatory behaviors like vomiting or excessive exercise.  We also discuss binge eating disorder and the lesser-known ARFID, which involves food restriction based on sensory issues rather than weight concerns.

As you probably already know, these disorders can be incredibly hard on the family dynamic. Eating disorders transform dinner tables into battlegrounds and marriages into war zones. We cover strategies for supporting loved ones without enabling disordered behaviors, emphasizing the importance of family therapy and creating an environment that de-emphasizes weight and appearance.

Whether you're worried about someone you love or seeking to understand these complex conditions better, check out KulaMind to get support and community around loving someone with eating disorders. 

Resources:

• Hannah, L., Cross, M., Baily, H., Grimwade, K., Clarke, T., & Allan, S. M. (2022). A systematic review of the impact of carer interventions on outcomes for patients with eating disorders. Eating and Weight Disorders-Studies on Anorexia, Bulimia and Obesity, 27(6), 1953-1962

• Eating Disorder Hotlines and Crisis Resources

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!

 When does our help cross the line from supportive to harmful for our loved ones with mental health challenges? In this episode we dive deep into the complex dynamics of "unintentional reinforcement," a less judgmental term for "enabling" that acknowledges how our best intentions can sometimes backfire.

Drawing from personal experiences with addiction, depression, and avoidance behaviors, we explore how our actions sometimes shield our loved ones from the very consequences that might motivate change. Whether it's financially supporting a partner who refuses to work, making excuses for someone's alcohol abuse, or accommodating anxiety-driven avoidance, these patterns can gradually trap both parties in cycles that feel impossible to break.

What makes these situations particularly challenging is when we feel stuck between either "enabling" destructive behaviors or dealing with other consequences. When we point out the problem, they often retreat further into problematic behaviors. Through practical examples and psychological insights, we discuss strategies for shifting these dynamics without abandoning those we love.

We highlight that boundaries aren't selfish- they're necessary. By intentionally encouraging healthy behaviors while allowing natural consequences for unhealthy ones, we can boost motivation for positive change. And by recognizing when our own needs for caretaking or control might be part of the problem, we gain the clarity to make difficult but loving choices.

Ready to transform your relationship with someone struggling with mental health or addiction? Check out KulaMind, our community support platform where we're learning together how to break free from unhealthy patterns and set boundaries that stick.

Resources:

• Foote, J., Wilkens, C., Kosanke, N., & Higgs, S. (2014). Beyond addiction: How science and kindness help people change. Simon and Schuster.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!

Humiliation might be the most painful social emotion we experience, even traumatizing. Yet it's much less talked about compared to its cousin, shame. In this revealing episode, we unpack the distinct characteristics that make humiliation uniquely devastating and potentially dangerous.

When someone in a position of power debases you in public, that's not just intense shame- it's humiliation. You simply experience a profound loss of status and dignity. While someone might humiliate you to "teach you a lesson" or make you change, but it only brings up a powerful urge for revenge.

We explore how this emotional response plays out across various contexts—from relationships where partners use humiliation as a power tactic, parents humiliate their kids as discipline, to political landscapes where people who are humiliated become radicalized. We talk about how public humiliation can devastate someone's life, while contemporary cancel culture creates new avenues for status destruction.

Finally, we discuss pathways for healing after humiliation. While revenge might feel satisfying in the moment, understanding the true costs of vengeance versus genuine recovery offers a more hopeful way forward.

Join KulaMind, our community and program for people with loved ones struggling with mental health. We teach essential skills for managing crises, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care during challenging relationships.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com