A Little Help For Our Friends

This episode explains what it means to be diagnosed with a "personality disorder," including how psychologists understand what personality is, when it's pathological, and how clinicians diagnose it.

Is "borderline personality disorder" or "narcissistic personality disorder" a fancy term for "toxic"? In this episode, Dr. Kibby dives deeper into the nuanced way psychologists understand personality pathology. She gives an overview of the history of personality disorders and their diagnostic criteria, peeling back the stigma to reveal what’s really happening when someone gets diagnosed. She talks about why these conditions are about persistent, pervasive patterns that impact daily life, not character flaws or moral failures. In this episode, you'll hear:

• How clinicians differentiate between personality disorders and other mental health issues
• The evolution from categorical to dimensional models in modern diagnostics like the DSM-5
• The key features that make these patterns impairing and how they develop over time
• Why some people develop personality disorders
• Why flexibility and adaptation are crucial for change

Personality disorders are not about being a bad person who can't change- they’re about understanding how complex patterns shape us and learning how to rewire them.

Resources:

• Krueger, R. F., & Hobbs, K. A. (2020). An overview of the DSM-5 alternative model of personality disorders. Psychopathology, 53(3-4), 126-132.

• Personality Inventory for DSM-5

• If you're close to someone with a personality disorder and need support, book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn more about KulaMind

This episode is a conversation with Dr. Jonathan Avery about why addiction has so much stigma and how that has stopped patients and families from getting real help.

Most people still view addiction through a lens of shame and judgment, yet experts like Dr. Jonathan Avery are transforming how we understand and support those struggling. Dr. Avery is Vice Chair for Addiction Psychiatry and Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine, known for pioneering efforts to reduce stigma and elevate evidence-based care. His work has transformed lives and inspired a new approach to addiction globally.He also founded the SAFE Program (Support, Advocacy, and Family Education) to provide evidence-based support to families affected by addiction.

Dr. Kibby sits down with Dr. Avery to talk about how his personal experience with family addiction led him to develop groundbreaking programs and research to dismantle stigma, empower families, and open new pathways to recovery. In this episode, we break down:

• How addiction affects the brain and why stigma persists despite medical advances
• The innovative SAFE program supporting families affected by addiction
• Dr. Avery’s insights on challenging societal judgment and fostering compassion
• The role of advocacy, policy, and personal understanding in changing the narrative around substance use
• His upcoming book "Thriving with Addiction" and what it reveals about resilience and hope

Whether you’re supporting a loved one or seeking deep understanding, this episode is essential listening. This is your chance to hear from one of the most influential voices in addiction psychiatry who shares insights that could change the way you see and support those affected by addiction.

Resources:

• Thriving with Addiction book and podcast with Dr. Jonathan Avery

In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Kibby shares her transformative experience at a healing retreat for breast cancer survivors, centered around a special plant medicine.

Can alternative forms of mental health treatment heal wounds that even therapy can't touch? In this episode, Dr. Kibby recounts journey of deep healing through plant medicine, facilitated by a supportive community of women and guided by expert facilitators. Alternative treatments like plant medicine (of all different types) offer new ways of addressing deep trauma. Dr. Kibby participated in a plant medicine healing retreat for breast cancer survivors, organized by The Survivorship Collective. What she thought was going to be just a fun week turned into a life-changing experience.

Dr. Kibby talks about the insights she gained about trauma, self-compassion, and the power of collective healing. She delves into the emotional aftermath of her cancer treatment, the unexpected connections between past traumas, and the unique healing potential of plant medicine within a sacred tradition practiced for generations. Dr. Kibby reflects on the importance of setting intentions, embracing vulnerability, and trusting the body's innate ability to heal.

Of course, as the field of psychiatry and clinical psychology are excited about the new treatment options- Dr. Kibby also discusses the need for caution. It's important to only engage in treatments that are legal, safe, regulated, evidence-based and monitored by careful medical supervision. Consult with your doctor or other medical provider before making treatment decisions for yourself.

Resources:

• The Survivorship Collective

This episode describes what complex Post Traumatic Stress disorder (cPTSD) is, how it's diagnosed, and how it's different to similar disorders like PTSD and borderline personality disorder. This episode was inspired by the angry comments on Dr. Kibby's latest reel on spotting emotion dysregulation in borderline personality disorder.

When someone has a history of childhood trauma and they struggle with intense emotions, self-esteem issues, and relationship problems- what disorder do they have? In this episode, Dr. Kibby delves into the criteria for complex PTSD, which is still not an official disorder in the DSM-V. Yet, so many people struggle with symptoms from long, painful histories of trauma that has shaped their entire lives and personalities.

Dr. Kibby also discusses the nuanced differences between Complex PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder, revealing how trauma shapes self-esteem, relationships, and emotional regulation in surprising ways. If you've ever wondered why these disorders often overlap—and how understanding their distinctions can transform healing—you’ll want to hear this.

Dr. Kibby shares her own experiences with online criticism around trauma representation, sparking a deeper conversation about stigma and bias in mental health. She dives into the hidden intricacies of CPTSD, explaining why it’s often overlooked in the DSM-5 but recognized worldwide, and how prolonged trauma affects the brain’s ability to process memories, dissociate, and regulate emotions.

She also talks about how how trauma, whether overt or subtle, can lead to complex self-protection mechanisms that impact every aspect of life. Then she finishes with listing the best evidence-based treatments, from prolonged exposure to cognitive processing therapy and DBT, tailored for each disorder’s unique challenges.

She emphasizes the power of compassion and personalized treatment over stigma, advocating for a mental health field that treats all disorders with empathy and respect. Why diagnosis isn’t about labels- it's a pathway to personalized healing and recovery.

Resources:

• Sarr, R., Quinton, A., Spain, D., & Rumball, F. (2024). A Systematic Review of the Assessment of ICD‐11 Complex Post‐Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) in Young People and Adults. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy, 31(3), e3012.

• Simon, J. J., Spiegler, K., Coulibaly, K., Stopyra, M. A., Friederich, H. C., Gruber, O., & Nikendei, C. (2025). Beyond diagnosis: symptom patterns across complex PTSD and borderline personality disorder. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 16, 1668821.

This episode is an interview with Mike Meaney, CEO and founder of One Small Step that provides peer support to people with mental health and addiction crises. He discusses his own personal recovery journey that inspired him to become a certified peer.

Most of us underestimate how critical peer support can be in mental health and addiction recovery- until we hear stories like Mike’s, who turned his personal struggles into a groundbreaking platform that saves lives during nights and weekends when traditional help is scarce.

In this powerful episode, Mike Meaney shares his deeply personal journey from blackout drinking at 16 to building a platform for certified peer support that’s transforming mental health care. Dr. Kibby and Mike discuss how lived experience combined with innovative technology is closing gaps in access, especially when emergency services aren’t the right answer.

Failing to recognize the power of peer support leaves millions vulnerable in their darkest hours, missing out on an accessible, stigma-reducing lifeline. For anyone battling addiction, mental health challenges, or supporting someone who is, this episode reveals a hopeful path forward, grounded in authenticity and innovation.

If you’re tired of the same old approaches and want to see how empathy combined with tech can revolutionize mental health care, this conversation is essential listening.

Mike Meaney is CEO of One Small Step, a platform dedicated to on-demand peer support supported by clinical supervision, revolutionizing how people access help in their most vulnerable moments.

Resources:

• One Small Step website

In this episode, Dr. Kibby breaks down the psychology behind the "Man-Child Syndrome," when men stay emotionally immature and avoid real responsibility.

Do you know a grown man who clearly wants to stay a boy forever? Maybe he's fun, charismatic, adventurous and creative but...he runs away from adulthood. He's afraid of commitment, avoids responsibilities, and expects everyone else to take care of him. If so, you're familiar with the Man-Child Syndrome.

Dr. Kibby analyzes the "Man-Child" (also called the "Peter Pan Syndrome") and discusses the tell-tale signs of a man-child, what's underneath the boyish behavior, and how psychological theories explain why he refuses to grow up. At the core of this type of toxic immaturity is the avoidance of the hardships of adult life: the tedious work of building a career, the mundane problems of a serious relationship, and the pain of going out of our comfort zones. The Man-Child runs away from any limitations to his freedom and fun, but that usually means he's taking advantage of someone in the process.

This episode also discusses how the Man-Child syndrome is a growing form of narcissism: Men lost in fantasies, too special to suffer like ordinary people, and avoidant of accountability. All of these tendencies point to traits of narcissistic personality disorder, even if it's hard to spot at first.

If you're struggling with a man-child and need support, check out KulaMind for real skills and community for dealing with this toxic relationship.

Tell us in the comments what you think of the "Man-Child Syndrome"!

This episode shares five mindset shifts that helped Dr. Kibby stop chasing toxic relationships and finally find a real life partner.

How do you know when you've found "the one"? Disney movies and rom coms aside, how do we even figure out who should we spend the rest of our lives with? Dr. Kibby breaks down the five giant shifts in perspective that led her to the right husband: choosing a partner who can truly care for you “in sickness and in health,” ending the urge to heal childhood wounds by repeating old patterns, prioritizing someone who will be a strong co-parent, and valuing a partner who can reliably handle life’s logistics. If you’ve felt like you’re parenting a grown adult, walking on eggshells, or stuck in the same exhausting cycle, these shifts offer a practical path out- grounded in therapy breakthroughs, grief work, and different choices from day one.

Dr. Kibby shares stories about how and when she made those mindset shifts (including navigating cancer with a supportive partner) and clear criteria to follow in dating. Notice when despair after a fight is really an old wound asking for care- not another round of fixing someone else.

This episode is an interview with Erin Lin, the director of the movie "Rosemead" starring Lucy Liu and Lawrence Shou.

How do you turn a haunting true story about family mental illness into a national conversation about stigma? This is the third and final episode of the series diving into the movie "Rosemead," a moving true story about how a Chinese immigrant mother (played by Lucy Liu) faces schizophrenia, stigma, and the fear of becoming a burden. In this episode, director Eric Lin shares how he was able to create such a honest, complex portrait of mental illness in a marginalized family.

Eric opens up about seeing his own family dynamics reflected in the script: the pressure to appear strong, the instinct to hide hard truths, and the painful isolation that grows when a community doesn’t have the language or resources to help. We go behind the camera to explore how the team built an honest, human portrayal of psychosis. Eric drew from first-person accounts and documentaries to shape psychotic episodes that feel present yet accessible. That craft choice keeps Joe grounded in our empathy rather than lost in stereotype. We also confront the delicate thread tying public fear of mass shootings to mental illness, and why the film refuses sensational shortcuts while acknowledging a parent’s very real terror.

The finale gets the care it deserves: Lucy Liu’s performance arrives in a single, shattering take for the devastating ending. The result is not shock for its own sake, but a moment that honors love, loss, and the cost of silence. 

If you care about mental health, immigrant family dynamics, or the ethics of portraying schizophrenia on screen, you’ll find a lot to resonate with. Go see "Rosemead" in theaters so you don't miss being part of the conversation.

Resources:

• Rosemead on IG: @rosemeadfilm
• Erin Lin on IG: @holdtheframe

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

This episode is an interview with Lawrence Shou, the star of the movie "Rosemead" alongside Lucy Liu.

A headline never tells the whole story, and the movie "Rosemead" refuses to let us look away. In this episode, star of "Rosemead," Lawrence Shou, unpacks a true-story-inspired film about a Chinese immigrant mother (played by Lucy Liu), a teenage son named Joe (Shou) navigating schizophrenia, and the quiet heartbreak that unfolds when love collides with stigma and a patchwork mental health system. Lawrence brings us inside his process of weeks of research, clinician interviews, and on-set practices that made his performance so hauntingly real.

Our conversation traces how psychosis actually presents: not just shouting or destruction, but blankness, withdrawal, and a mind overloaded by grief and fear. Lawrence explains how Joe’s symptoms are shaped by trauma and context, including anxiety about mass shootings and the loss of his father. We talk about cultural pressures in immigrant families: why silence can feel safer than asking for help and how that silence magnifies risk. 

Lawrence shares how reframing treatment as a path to agency, combined with psychoeducation and community support, can make a tangible difference for families who are exhausted and scared. If you’ve ever wondered what schizophrenia looks like up close, how to avoid snap judgments, or how to show up when someone you love is slipping away, this episode is for you.

"Rosemead" is out in theaters January 9th. Go see it to join the conversation on how we're failing marginalized families with mental illness.

Resources:

• Connect to Lawrence on IG: @lawrenceshou
• Stay updated on Rosemead through IG: @rosemeadfilm

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!

Well, 2025 is almost over and by all accounts, it was one of the hardest for mental health across America. The past year felt like emotional sandpaper: unstable jobs, AI anxiety, and a constant stream of obligations that made even simple days feel crowded. Beneath all that noise, a quieter force did much of the damage: loneliness. In this episode, Dr. Kibby unpacks why January often hits hardest after the holidays, why being surrounded by people can still feel empty, and how one-way relationships quietly burn us out.

Dr. Kibby discusses a candid look at over-giving, how being so focused on other people can lead to a sneaky sense of loneliness. She breaks loneliness into three solvable parts: 1. Building real emotional support, 2. Being seen for who we really are, and 3. Restoring reciprocity so care flows both ways. 

She also talks about finding community where you might not expect it. If your local circle doesn’t yet hold the parts of you that crave air, that’s a bridge, not a dead end. The goal isn’t more social plans; it’s richer resonance. By focusing on one small habit each week (one ask, one honest share, one reciprocal ritual) you can turn the quiet of January into a reset for connection.

Happy new year, Little Helpers. We're grateful for this community and see you in 2026

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com