In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, boundaries coach and licensed therapist Torie Wiksell unpacks one of the most damaging cycles cycle breakers face: being scapegoated by toxic parents.

Here’s how the pattern works: your boundaries are violated again and again until you finally react—crying, yelling, or shutting down. That’s when your family points at you as “the problem.” This toxic blame-shifting convinces you that your needs are unreasonable, leading you to overextend yourself at work, in relationships, and even in friendships.

We’ll cover:

• The scapegoat cycle: why you’re labeled “too sensitive” when the truth is the opposite.
• How overfunctioning shows up in adulthood—as the fixer, the peacemaker, or the one who sacrifices everything to avoid conflict.
• Why it feels easier to burn yourself out than to ask others to step up.
• Steps to reclaim your capacity by setting boundaries around your emotional, physical, and financial energy.

Torie also shares her own story of overgiving in her career—and how healing meant learning to stop “lighting herself on fire to keep others warm.”

If you’ve ever wondered why relationships leave you drained, or why you carry responsibility that isn’t yours, this episode will help you see the truth: it’s not you.

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A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Feeling like you’re “not healed enough” from your toxic family patterns? You’re not broken—and you’re not alone. In this powerful episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell dismantles the harmful myth of perfect healing that keeps so many cycle breakers stuck in shame and self-judgment.

You’ll learn why healing from narcissistic, borderline, or emotionally immature parents is messy, non-linear, and never a one-and-done checklist—and how chasing “completely healed” can actually block your growth. Torie shares what real progress looks like: building capacity, creating space between yourself and your triggers, and trusting that you can handle whatever arises.

This episode is your reminder that two steps forward, one step back isn’t failure—it’s the actual path to freedom. You’ll walk away knowing how to measure growth more realistically, and why anyone claiming to have zero struggles is misrepresenting the human experience.

Plus, Torie announces exciting news: The Confident Boundaries Membership is now just $39/month—with two weekly group coaching sessions, monthly workshops on topics like gaslighting and guilt-tripping, and a private community of cycle breakers who get it. You can even try it for free for 24 hours.

If you’re ready to stop judging your healing and start building the skills and support you need to thrive, join us at confidentboundaries.com/membership.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

This week, I’m sharing a personal story I never expected to be telling: what it’s been like to go viral on TikTok as a boundaries coach for adult children of toxic parents. Spoiler alert—if you’ve ever wondered whether your healing work is actually paying off, I promise this episode will help you see your own progress more clearly.

I talk about the hate comments that echoed things my narcissistic mom used to say, the emotional whiplash of visibility, and the surprising power of not needing people to understand you in order to stay steady. This is one of those “here’s what it looks like in real time” episodes—real talk, no fluff.

We also talk about:

• The difference between therapy and coaching (and how to work together!)
• What emotional healing actually looks like as a cycle breaker (hint: it’s not always loud or dramatic, but it is powerful)

Whether you're in the thick of it or quietly realizing how far you've come, I hope this episode helps you pause and reflect on your own growth. You’re not crazy. You’re healing. And you’re doing a damn good job.

Grab one of my 1:1 Coaching Packages and let's work together!

Jess Gleim
Marketing Strategist and Meta Ads Expert. Smart, data-backed strategy that actually makes you money.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

You’re not stuck because you’re lazy—you’re stuck because you were trained to put everyone else first. In this episode, I walk you through the mental blocks that keep cycle breakers paralyzed—especially the guilt that makes boundary-setting feel impossible. 

Plus, I’m sharing a one-time offer to get everything you need to finally break through—inside the Boundaries Bootcamp Bundle. Don’t miss this: it’s available through Tuesday at midnight.

Click here to grab the Boundaries Bootcamp Bundle

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Do you catch yourself writing paragraph-long texts just to say “no”?

Do you feel the urge to explain every decision, anticipate every reaction, or soften your truth with a long-winded disclaimer?

That’s not overthinking. That’s overexplaining—and it’s a trauma response.

In this episode, we’re talking about the exhausting cycle of overexplaining yourself, especially if you grew up with a narcissistic or otherwise toxic parent. I’ll walk you through why it started, why it still feels so necessary, and how to start letting it go.

You’ll learn:

• How childhood invalidation trains us to justify our existence
• Why toxic parents weren’t misunderstanding you—they were never interested in knowing the real you
• How overexplaining becomes a codependent pattern that follows us into adulthood

This one’s for the cycle breakers who are tired of holding their breath after hitting send.

🎧 Prefer ad-free episodes and bonus Q&As? Join the Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Is your toxic parent’s “I’m sorry” leaving you more confused than comforted? In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we unpack why apologies from narcissistic or otherwise toxic parents rarely feel like closure—and often reopen old wounds.

You’ll learn:

• The signs of a real apology (and what performative regret looks like)
• How to stop spiraling when they say “sorry” but nothing changes
• A mindset shift that will help you decide whether or not to forgive

If you’ve ever thought “maybe I’m being too harsh…” this episode is the clarity you’ve been needing.

Jess Gleim
Marketing Strategist and Meta Ads Expert. Smart, data-backed strategy that actually makes you money.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

In this episode, I talk about the complicated grief that surfaces once we begin setting boundaries and creating distance from toxic, narcissistic, or emotionally immature parents.

I share what it looked like in my own life— the emotional toll of being a parentified child, and why our healing journey often involves mourning the milestones we missed while we were just trying to survive.

This conversation is especially for those who feel behind in life, who struggle with guilt for being sad about the past, or who just need to hear that it’s okay to grieve what should have been. Because healing from a toxic parent doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt—it means being honest with our reality, making space for that pain, and still choosing to move forward.

If you're looking for support navigating your cycle breaking journey in real time, the Boundaries Helper GPT inside the Confident Boundaries Membership is now live and ready to help.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Big news! The Confident Boundaries App is officially live—now available for free on iPhone and Android. Inside, you’ll get instant access to a curated starter bundle of some of my favorite episodes and articles to support your healing from family dysfunction.

In today’s episode, we’re digging into a question I hear often from adult children of narcissistic parents or those with unmanaged BPD:
 “Why do I keep ending up in toxic relationships?”

When you grow up with emotionally immature or abusive parents, you're taught to dismiss your gut, minimize your needs, and tolerate mistreatment. That pattern doesn’t magically disappear in adulthood.

You’re not doomed to repeat these patterns forever. You can learn healthy love—and it starts with understanding what was never your fault to begin with.

📲 Download the Confident Boundaries app now to start healing with practical tools and community support. And if this episode hit home, tap 5 stars and leave a quick review to help others find the podcast.

Link to download on iPhone:

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Link to download on Android:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

If you’re breaking toxic cycles in a family marked by emotional immaturity, narcissism, or borderline traits, there’s something we don’t talk about enough: the profound loneliness that can come with healing.

You’re not just setting boundaries—you’re stepping out of the role your family expected you to play. Maybe you were the peacekeeper, the fixer, the golden child, or the scapegoat. But once you stop playing by the unspoken rules, the system fights to pull you back in. 

What hurts the most is realizing your family often wants access to the old version of you—not the healthier, more boundaried version you’ve worked so hard to become. That rejection can feel like losing your family all over again.

This episode is for the cycle breakers—the ones doing the heavy lifting, often in silence, wondering if anyone else truly gets it. 

You’ll learn:

• Why healing often feels lonelier before it feels better
• How to reframe your isolation as a sign of growth
• Where to find real, mutual support outside of dysfunctional systems

Ready to connect with other cycle breakers? Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Healing isn’t linear—especially when you’re the cycle breaker. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, I’m pulling back the curtain on what real, sustainable healing looks like when you grew up with emotionally immature, narcissistic, or borderline parents.

I share how becoming a therapist over a decade ago didn’t free me from my dysfunctional patterns—it magnified them. I was the classic parentified child turned overwhelmed helper: running myself into the ground trying to "fix" everything and help everyone. 

I talk about how I'm working on breaking toxic cycles right now and all the feelings and thoughts I have around my own healing journey.

Jess Gleim
Marketing Strategist and Meta Ads Expert. Smart, data-backed strategy that actually makes you money.

Crying In My Jacuzzi
a podcast exploring the ebbs & flows of living an examined life. hosted by Dana Balicki

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.