When you spend your childhood being misunderstood, projected onto, or told who you are instead of being seen for who you actually are, it makes sense that you carry that fear of being misunderstood into adulthood.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why adult children of narcissistic parents often overexplain themselves

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In this episode, we explore:

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If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, you may have heard this when you started setting boundaries, going to therapy, or naming the dysfunction in your family.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we unpack:

When a parent says this, it often isn’t about your behavior. It’s about their discomfort with accountability. It’s about losing control of a dynamic where you were expected to stay small, agreeable, and emotionally accommodating.

If you’ve started therapy, begun setting boundaries with a toxic parent, or noticed pushback when you stop playing your assigned role in the family, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening.

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In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw.

You’ll learn:

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Schedule a Therapy Phone Consultation

If you’re interested in talking about working with Torie in therapy, use the following link to schedule a free phone consultation. Must be located in CA, OR, or WA.

https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule

If this episode was helpful, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show.

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In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood.

We talk about:

-Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents

-What a boundary actually is (and why it’s about your behavior, not controlling theirs)

-How toxic parents escalate when they feel dysregulated or lose access to you

-Why guilt, panic, and urgency show up after you set limits

-How not enforcing a boundary teaches your parent to push harder

-Why boundaries without an enforcement plan almost always collapse

This episode is especially for adults who intellectually understand boundaries but still find themselves caving when their parent panics, guilt-trips, or emotionally escalates. If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I should do, but I can’t seem to follow through,” this conversation will give you clarity and language for what’s really happening.

This is also why boundary work with toxic parents requires more than scripts or one-off advice. It requires understanding the family system, the manipulation tactics, and your own nervous system responses so you can follow through without self-abandoning.

And if you want access to more episodes of the podcast, sign up for You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. You'll be supporting the growth of the show while getting access to archived, bonus, and ad-free episodes of You're Not Crazy:
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If this episode helped put words to something you’ve been struggling with, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show and feel less alone.

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The gaslighting, denial, deflection, and rewriting of reality mirror the dynamics many adults grew up with in toxic or narcissistic family systems. Torie explains how ongoing trauma impacts emotional capacity, why trauma that is still happening cannot be healed (only coped with), and how the pressure to respond perfectly often leads to paralysis.

For listeners who feel overwhelmed, stuck, and at a loss for how to move forward right now, this episode provides context, validation, and grounded perspective.

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Most cycle breakers know exactly what they don’t want to repeat. But knowing what not to do is very different from knowing how to be an emotionally healthy adult, especially when emotional regulation, boundaries, and healthy relationships were never modeled for you.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why learning emotional health as a cycle breaker is often messy, uncomfortable, and filled with shame. We explore the fear of “becoming your parent,” the pressure to get it right immediately, and the black-and-white thinking that makes normal struggles feel like personal failures.

This episode covers:

-Why most cycle breakers start adulthood without the skills they need

-How growing up with explosive, punishing, or emotionally unavailable parents shapes your relationship with emotions

-Why suppressing feelings, intellectualizing, or trying to be “easy” creates problems as an adult

-The difference between struggling emotionally and being emotionally unsafe

-Why emotional health is built through skill-building, accountability, and repair, not perfection

-How shame keeps cycle breakers stuck and what helps loosen its grip

If you’re deeply invested in becoming an emotionally healthy adult but feel discouraged by your imperfections, this episode is for you.

Support the podcast:
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If this episode resonated, please consider leaving a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find our show.

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Self-doubt is one of the most common and paralyzing struggles for cycle breakers. In this episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, Torie explains why chronic self-doubt is not a personality flaw, but a trauma response rooted in long-term gaslighting and emotional invalidation.

You’ll learn how growing up in a toxic family system trains you to distrust your own memories, emotions, and decisions, and why self-doubt often shows up most intensely when you start setting boundaries, becoming more assertive, or trying to live differently than your family expects. Torie breaks down how “self-gaslighting” develops, why it makes adult decision-making feel overwhelming, and how awareness can help you stop treating this voice as truth.

This episode is especially relevant if you:

Were told you were too sensitive, dramatic, or wrong about your experiences

Second-guess your boundaries and feel tempted to backtrack

Freeze when making decisions because you are afraid of choosing wrong

Feel stuck even though you are trying to heal and break the cycle

Most importantly, this conversation reframes self-doubt as a normal byproduct of growing up in a dysfunctional family, not evidence that you are incapable, broken, or failing at healing.

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If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show.

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This episode is about nuance. It’s about why labels like narcissistic personality disorder, borderline traits, or “toxic parent” can feel both clarifying and overwhelming, and why healing does not actually depend on getting a definitive diagnosis.

I talk about:

Why patterns of behavior matter more than labels

How gaslighting, emotional volatility, shame, and walking on eggshells shape adult children

Why many cycle breakers grow up in “two realities” with the same parent

The grief, relief, anger, and desire for connection that can coexist

How minimizing what you experienced can quietly train you to tolerate harm in other relationships

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From navigating visibility as a therapist talking openly about toxic family systems, to setting boundaries around social media, content creation, and emotional labor, this episode is a grounded, honest look at what it actually takes to do this work sustainably as a cycle breaker.

Torie shares why she’s recommitting to the podcast, simplifying where her energy goes, and being more intentional about how and where she shows up. She also talks candidly about burnout, backlash, self doubt, and what it means to keep choosing growth when you were conditioned to stay small.

This episode covers:

-Personal reflections from a year of growth, visibility, and boundary setting

-The emotional cost of talking publicly about narcissistic and toxic parents

-Why simplifying is a form of healing, not quitting

-Reprioritizing the podcast and stepping back from what no longer fits

-Looking ahead to 2026 with more clarity, intention, and self trust

Are you loving the podcast?

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