Growing up with a narcissistic or borderline parent means constantly navigating two versions of them—the loving, "good" parent and the punishing, unpredictable one. In this episode, I reflect on how caring for my sick daughter brought up memories of my own childhood—where empathy was absent, and love often came with conditions.

I’ll explore how these experiences shaped my understanding of parenting, the emotional complexity of breaking the cycle, and the self-gaslighting that happens when you’ve been conditioned to question your own reality. If you’re working to parent differently than you were raised, or are working through gaslighting yourself about your own childhood, this episode is for you!

In this episode, we’ll discuss:
✔ How parenting can trigger childhood trauma and unresolved emotions
✔ The duality of love and cruelty in a relationship with a BPD/NPD parent
✔ Why emotional neglect leaves lasting scars—and how to heal
✔ Overcoming self-doubt and breaking the cycle of generational trauma
✔ The role of empathy and accountability in healthy parenting
✔ Creating the safe, loving environment you never had as a child

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

If you've ever been told that you have to forgive in order to heal, I want you to know—that’s just not true. In this episode, I’m breaking down why forgiveness is overrated, especially when it comes to parents with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder (BPD/NPD). Instead of forcing yourself to forgive, what if you focused on acceptance instead? Because that’s where the real healing happens.

In this episode, we’ll cover:
✔️ Why forgiveness is often a trap we get stuck in
✔️ The difference between acceptance and approval—you don’t have to “approve” of your parent’s behavior to accept reality
✔️ How acceptance helps you stop wasting energy trying to change someone you can't control
✔️ The truth about manipulative parental behaviors and why they keep you stuck
✔️ Why regaining autonomy over your own life is the real goal—not making peace with an abusive or toxic parent
✔️ How letting go of the pressure to forgive can actually set you free

You are not a bad person if you don’t forgive. You don’t owe your parent forgiveness—but you do owe yourself peace. Let’s talk about how to get there.

Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!

And, if this episode helped you, please leave a 5 star review—it helps more people find the show!

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

Is overwhelming guilt getting in the way of setting boundaries with your borderline or narcissistic parent? You’re not alone. In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I dive deep into the emotional weight of guilt that so many adult children of parents with BPD or NPD experience. I’ll break down how guilt is often used to manipulate behavior, why it feels so intense, and how you can start reclaiming your peace (even when the guilt feels paralyzing).

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

• The difference between healthy guilt and guilt that’s designed to control you
• How guilt can cloud your decision-making process and keep you stuck in unhealthy patterns
• Practical strategies for asserting boundaries with confidence
• Why building a strong support system is essential for breaking the guilt cycle
• A reminder that you are so much more capable of doing hard things then you likely give yourself credit for

If you're ready to stop guilt from running your life and want support from people who get it, check out the Confident Boundaries community at confidentboundaries.com/join.

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

We all need a bit more support and connection right now, so I decided to run a surprise giveaway until noon PST tomorrow (Sunday, February 2nd)!

Here are the three ways to enter:

1. Tag a friend in the comments on this Instagram post who would love the Confident Boundaries Online Community! You BOTH could win a FREE one-month membership ($39 value each). And as a reminder, when you join the community you get instant access to:
   → My course on setting boundaries with BPD/NPD parents
   → Bonus podcast episodes & exclusive Q&As
   → Monthly trainings + support from people who get it
    
2. Join the Confident Boundaries Online Community and you'll be entered to win a FREE one-hour coaching session with me ($300 value)!
    
3. Sign up for my monthly coaching membership ($600/month for two sessions), and you'll be entered to win a FREE one-year membership to the Confident Boundaries Online Community ($429 value)! Limited coaching spots are available!

 The giveaway closes TOMORROW (2/2) at noon, and I'll be personally reaching out to all of the winners via Instagram dm or email.

Good luck!!!

Instagram: @toriewiksell

CB Online Community: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/join

Coaching: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/coaching

Download my free guide, 5 Quick Tips for Managing Intense Moments with a BPD or NPD Parent: confidentboundaries.com/guide

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Online Community: confidentboundaries.com/join

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/toriewiksell

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother with BPD. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you are in mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.

You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I’m sharing the 10 crucial steps every adult child of a narcissistic or borderline parent needs to take as a part of their healing journey. Whether you're just starting to recognize the impact of your parent’s toxic behavior or you’re well into your healing journey, this episode will guide you through the foundational steps of breaking free from toxic cycles and building a healthier, more authentic life.

We’ll cover:

1. Understanding emotional abuse and its impact on you
2. How to spot healthy vs. toxic relationship dynamics
3. Setting boundaries that protect your peace (including when going no-contact is necessary)
4. Building a circle of people who get it and can support your growth
5. Practicing self-compassion (even when it feels impossible)
6. Getting clear on your values and what matters to you
7. Releasing the guilt of carrying other people’s emotions
8. Learning how to sit with tough feelings without spiraling
9. Diving into self-discovery and creating a life that feels like yours
10. Embracing the fact that healing is a messy, ongoing journey

This episode is packed with practical insights and encouragement to help you navigate your unique path to healing. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure where to start, this is the episode you don’t want to miss!

👉 Tune in now to start reclaiming your identity and creating the life you deserve.

Want to watch the video version of this episode? Click here to watch it on YouTube!

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

Being the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder often means confronting the painful reality of being cast as the "villain" in their story. That s*cks, but learning to sit with this discomfort can help you take back control over your own life and finally prioritize your needs over their expectations.

In this episode, we’ll unpack the dynamics that keep you stuck in this role and offer actionable insights to help you step into your villain role:

• How conditional love shapes self-worth
• The exhausting cycle of chasing validation and approval
• Recognizing the impact of gaslighting in parent-child relationships
• Breaking free from black-and-white thinking patterns
• Understanding the emotional cost of manipulation
• Why embracing the “villain” role can be freeing
• Building a support system outside of toxic family dynamics
• Reclaiming your identity with self-acceptance and healing
• Letting go of the need to rewrite their version of your story

This episode will give you tools to move forward with clarity and confidence. I'm rooting for you!

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we’re diving into five toxic traits that I developed from growing up in an emotionally chaotic home—and more importantly, how I'm working on them. If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, overexplaining, or feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, this episode is for you.

Here’s what we’ll cover:
✨ Why recognizing and naming your emotions is a game-changer
✨ How to stop taking on responsibilities that aren’t yours and set boundaries instead
✨ Transforming negative self-talk into self-compassion
✨ Learning to trust your own voice instead of seeking constant external validation
✨ Breaking the habit of overexplaining and embracing confident communication

This episode is packed with practical tips and personal insights. Tune in now and take the next step toward living life on your terms. 

🎧 Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a 5 star review, and share this episode with someone who needs it!

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

If you grew up with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, the fear of being abandoned by people you love might run deep. In this episode of You're Not Crazy, we unpack how toxic love from a parent impacts your relationships and self-worth as an adult — and, more importantly, how to break free from those patterns.

We discuss:

• What conditional love from a BPD/NPD parent really looks like and how it contributes to a fear of abandonment
• Choosing yourself
• The power of setting clear, firm boundaries (even when it feels impossible)
• Steps to develop self-acceptance and improve your self-worth

🎙️ If you find this episode helpful, please remember to rate us 5 stars and leave a quick review- it helps so much!

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

Today I’m reflecting on how I’ve grown this year and what I’m focusing on for 2025. From taking bold action before I felt “ready” to ending a toxic friendship and trusting myself more, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moments that have shaped my year. This episode is all about celebrating progress, embracing imperfections, and setting clear intentions for a fulfilling year ahead.

Listen to hear my perspective on:

• Taking big steps before feeling “ready”
• Facing fears around sharing my personal journey
• Letting go of toxic relationships faster
• Trusting my gut and valuing my own opinions
• Expanding my impact
• My goals for 2025

🎧 Ready for More?
Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed:

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
Available on iOS and Android

🧭 Join the Confident Boundaries Membership
Get monthly coaching, community, and the tools to set boundaries that actually stick: confidentboundaries.com/membership

📄 Grab My Free Guide
5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

📸 Follow on Instagram
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in helping adult children of narcissistic and borderline parents break toxic cycles and reclaim their peace. She combines clinical experience with personal insight as a cycle breaker raised by a mother with suspected NPD and BPD traits. Torie provides online ther...

If you’re the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, the holidays can feel more stressful than joyful. In this episode, I’m sharing practical, actionable strategies to help you navigate these tricky family dynamics while prioritizing your mental health. From setting boundaries to managing emotional triggers, we’ll cover everything you need to make it through the season with more peace and less drama.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• How to set realistic expectations for family interactions.
• The key to creating a holiday game plan that works for you.
• Emotional regulation strategies to stay grounded when you’re triggered.
• Why avoiding conflict can be more powerful than engaging.
• Using the gray rock method to deflect negativity and maintain calm.
• Recognizing scapegoat dynamics—and how to protect yourself.
• Affirming your right to step away from harmful situations.
• Why self-care is non-negotiable during the festive season.

Listen now to reclaim your holidays with confidence and clarity!

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...