Healing isn’t linear—especially when you’re the cycle breaker. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, I’m pulling back the curtain on what real, sustainable healing looks like when you grew up with emotionally immature, narcissistic, or borderline parents.

I share how becoming a therapist over a decade ago didn’t free me from my dysfunctional patterns—it magnified them. I was the classic parentified child turned overwhelmed helper: running myself into the ground trying to "fix" everything and help everyone. 

I talk about how I'm working on breaking toxic cycles right now and all the feelings and thoughts I have around my own healing journey.

Jess Gleim
Marketing Strategist and Meta Ads Expert. Smart, data-backed strategy that actually makes you money.

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A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

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Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Cycle breakers are often raised to believe that honesty = full disclosure and transparency… even when the other person has a history of weaponizing that honesty against them.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we’re digging into the messy middle between brutal honesty and self-abandonment—especially when it comes to dealing with parents who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

So many of us value being open and real because we didn’t get that growing up. But when it comes to setting boundaries with toxic parents, that same desire to be transparent can backfire—leaving us feeling overexposed, manipulated, and unsafe.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

• The difference between honesty and over-disclosure
• How I decide what to share (and not share) on this podcast and in my own life
• Why you don’t owe anyone—not even your parent—access to your most vulnerable truths
• And the underrated boundary no one talks about: walking away when you're being mistreated

→Ready to learn why your boundaries haven’t been working—and what to do instead? Grab my free mini-course at confidentboundaries.com/course

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

If you’ve ever felt a pit in your stomach after setting a boundary… or a wave of guilt for saying no to your parent’s last-minute demand… this episode is for you.

Guilt has been weaponized in toxic families for generations—and if you grew up with a toxic parent or narcissistic parent, chances are you’ve been conditioned to confuse manipulative guilt with a healthy conscience. But here’s the truth: that guilt you feel? It’s not because you’ve done something wrong. It’s because your parent taught you that their comfort matters more than your well-being.

In this episode, we break down:

• The difference between healthy guilt and the kind that keeps you stuck in people-pleasing mode
• Why you don’t need to prove your parent is “trying” to manipulate you for the guilt to be real and harmful

This is a must-listen for any adult child of emotionally immature, narcissistic, or borderline parents who’s ready to break the cycle and stop abandoning themselves to keep the peace.

Ready to find out why your boundaries aren’t working with your toxic parent? Take my free mini-course at confidentboundaries.com/course

And for a limited time, join the Confident Boundaries membership for just $38 your first month with code BIRTHDAY

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

Let’s talk about the real work of breaking dysfunctional family cycles.

If you're the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, you probably know the drill: chaos explodes, you search frantically for tools to survive it… and then once things settle down, you convince yourself it's “not that bad.” Sound familiar?

This episode is your reminder that healing isn’t just something you do in a crisis. In fact, the most transformative progress happens between the chaos—when things are calm, quiet, and deceptively “fine.”

In this episode, I break down why that in-between time is exactly when you need to be doing the deeper work. Because this is your chance to reclaim your life without being stuck in reaction mode. We’ll talk about what real healing looks like, how to stop falling for the illusion of “it’s better now,” and why the work you do when things are calm is what actually sets you free.

Whether you’ve been the scapegoat, the peacekeeper, or the fixer—this is your sign to stop waiting for another meltdown to reach out for support. Let’s normalize choosing to heal—not just when you have to, but when you can.

Take my free boundaries course: confidentboundaries.com/workshop

Jess Gleim
Marketing Strategist and Meta Ads Expert. Smart, data-backed strategy that actually makes you money.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Do you question whether your parent actually is as toxic as they feel sometimes? Then this episode is for you.

Today, I’m diving into why so many adult children of narcissistic or borderline parents minimize their trauma, second-guess themselves, and stay stuck in relationships that continue to harm them.

We’ll talk about how those temporary “good moments” with your toxic parent aren’t proof that they’re safe—they’re part of the abuse cycle. Those calm stretches after explosive fights are what keep so many of us hooked, waiting for the parent we wish we had to finally show up for good.

I also share a personal story from a full-on family meltdown in a hospital waiting room (spoiler alert: security got involved 🤦🏻‍♀️). 

If you’re stuck in self-doubt and wondering whether your parent is really toxic enough to need boundaries… make sure to go take my free workshop: confidentboundaries.com/workshop. You’ll walk away with clarity, language, and tools that might just change everything for you.

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

Surviving (not thriving) Mother's Day weekend is what we're celebrating this week. Breaking cycles isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Your commitment to healing, despite few healthy examples, is powerful. Be gentle with yourself; your journey of growth deserves compassion, not criticism.

Next we’re calling out the toxic phrases that gaslight, invalidate, and harm adult children of parents with BPD or NPD. You've probably heard, "But they're your parents, you should forgive them," or "When they die, you'll miss them." Unsurprisingly, I share how much I hate these comments and try to give you a chuckle along the way.

One week left to join the Confident Boundaries Membership before prices go up!
Click here to join for $69/month
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My FREE Boundaries Workshop: confidentboundaries.com/workshop

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

🎧 Ready for More?
➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private

➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!)

📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App
iOS and Android

Let's be friends:
tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Stuck between staying in a painful relationship with your toxic parent or going full no-contact? There is another option—low contact. In this episode, I break down what low contact actually looks like with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder: surface-level conversations, strong boundaries, and emotional distance that protects your peace. I’ll share why this gray area can be the most sustainable choice for many adult children of emotionally immature or toxic parents—and how to know if it’s right for you.

Links from this week's episode:

Bonus episodes of You're Not Crazy: confidentboundaries.com/bonusepisodes

Waitlist for the Boundaries Workshop:
confidentboundaries.com/boundariesworkshop

Join the Confident Boundaries Membership before prices go up:
confidentboundaries.com/join

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

Have you ever wondered why your "healthier" parent never stepped in to protect you? In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the complex role of the enabling parent—one who may seem less toxic than the other but still plays a significant part in family dysfunction. Through their silence, excuse-making, and avoidance of conflict, the enabling parent often allows harmful patterns to persist. It’s easy to grow up seeing one parent as “the bad one” and the other as “the good one,” but the reality is far more painful and complicated.

In this episode, I also share personal examples from my own relationship with my enabling parent to illustrate how enabling parents can remain disconnected from the reality of the abuse right in front of them. This disconnection isn’t always about a lack of empathy—it’s often rooted in their own unresolved trauma and lack of healthy coping mechanisms. 

Understanding this gray area is vital to your healing process, even though it can mean letting go of the fantasy that at least one parent could have been your protector.

Subscribe to bonus episodes of You're Not Crazy: confidentboundaries.com/bonusepisodes

Follow me on Substack:
toriewiksell.substack.com

Take my free workshop to learn how to set boundaries with a BPD or NPD parent: confidentboundaries.com/boundariesworkshop

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, codependency can sneak into your adult relationships without you even realizing it. What started as a necessary survival strategy—keeping the peace, reading the room, making yourself “easy”—turns into a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing, over-explaining, and walking on eggshells.

In this episode, we unpack the everyday signs of codependent behavior: perfectionism to avoid criticism, guilt when setting boundaries, and the urge to fix other people’s emotions so you don’t have to feel the discomfort of their disappointment or anger.

These aren’t character flaws. They’re protective coping skills from childhood—responses you had to develop in a home where your emotional needs were often dismissed, minimized, or manipulated.

We’ll talk about what it really means to work on codependency, including:

• Letting go of the need to manage other people’s emotions
• Asking for support without apologizing for your needs
• Learning to tolerate discomfort without over-functioning
• Reclaiming trust in your own voice, boundaries, and resilience

→ Want to go deeper? Grab the Before Boundaries Mini-Course, available now on a pay-what-you-can basis at confidentboundaries.com. 

→ Subscribe to Bonus Episodes of You're Not Crazy at confidentboundaries.com/bonusepisodes

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...

Ever been told to "sit with your emotions" but had no idea what that really means? If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you’re not alone. In this episode, I break down this common advice into three practical steps that you can use, no matter how clueless you feel right now.

Learn how to expand your emotional vocabulary, reconnect with your body’s responses, and process difficult emotions in compassionate ways. It’s never too late to develop emotional intelligence, even if you didn’t get these skills growing up.

I also mention the "Before Boundaries" mini-course, available for $29 at confidentboundaries.com, designed to help you understand what you need to know before setting boundaries with a BPD or NPD parent. Check out the free boundaries workshop and bonus episodes here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/

Grab my free guide, 5 Guilt-Proof Boundaries That Actually Work (Even With a Toxic Parent):
confidentboundaries.com/guilt-proof-boundaries

Download the Confident Boundaries App on iPhone:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/confident-boundaries/id6746057902

Download the Confident Boundaries App on Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2148582879.app&pcampaignid=web_share

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Membership: confidentboundaries.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not ...