If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, codependency can sneak into your adult relationships without you even realizing it. What started as a necessary survival strategy—keeping the peace, reading the room, making yourself “easy”—turns into a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing, over-explaining, and walking on eggshells.

In this episode, we unpack the everyday signs of codependent behavior: perfectionism to avoid criticism, guilt when setting boundaries, and the urge to fix other people’s emotions so you don’t have to feel the discomfort of their disappointment or anger.

These aren’t character flaws. They’re protective coping skills from childhood—responses you had to develop in a home where your emotional needs were often dismissed, minimized, or manipulated.

We’ll talk about what it really means to work on codependency, including:

• Letting go of the need to manage other people’s emotions
• Asking for support without apologizing for your needs
• Learning to tolerate discomfort without over-functioning
• Reclaiming trust in your own voice, boundaries, and resilience

→ Want to go deeper? Grab the Before Boundaries Mini-Course, available now on a pay-what-you-can basis at confidentboundaries.com. 

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Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother she suspects had NPD with BPD traits. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you are in mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.

You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.