In this episode of 
You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotional and psychological abuse in families is often minimized or dismissed
• How power and control shape parent-child dynamics, even in adulthood
• Why stonewalling, silent treatment, shaming, and gaslighting are not “just family stuff”
• How abuse creates confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion over time
• How naming abuse accurately can be a powerful step toward clarity and healing

If you’ve ever questioned whether it was “really that bad,” struggled to trust your own emotional reactions, or felt drawn to content about toxic parents while doubting your experience, this episode offers grounding, validation, and context.

The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.

Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault

Follow Torie on Social:

https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist

https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist

Love the podcast? Support the show (and get access to bonus content)

Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and access to archived episodes by joining
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 https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

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A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood.

We talk about:

-Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents

-What a boundary actually is (and why it’s about your behavior, not controlling theirs)

-How toxic parents escalate when they feel dysregulated or lose access to you

-Why guilt, panic, and urgency show up after you set limits

-How not enforcing a boundary teaches your parent to push harder

-Why boundaries without an enforcement plan almost always collapse

This episode is especially for adults who intellectually understand boundaries but still find themselves caving when their parent panics, guilt-trips, or emotionally escalates. If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I should do, but I can’t seem to follow through,” this conversation will give you clarity and language for what’s really happening.

This is also why boundary work with toxic parents requires more than scripts or one-off advice. It requires understanding the family system, the manipulation tactics, and your own nervous system responses so you can follow through without self-abandoning.

The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.

Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault

Follow Torie on Social:

https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist

https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist

And if you want access to more episodes of the podcast, sign up for You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. You'll be supporting the growth of the show while getting access to archived, bonus, and ad-free episodes of You're Not Crazy:
confidentboundaries.com/private 

If this episode helped put words to something you’ve been struggling with, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show and feel less alone.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

The gaslighting, denial, deflection, and rewriting of reality mirror the dynamics many adults grew up with in toxic or narcissistic family systems. Torie explains how ongoing trauma impacts emotional capacity, why trauma that is still happening cannot be healed (only coped with), and how the pressure to respond perfectly often leads to paralysis.

For listeners who feel overwhelmed, stuck, and at a loss for how to move forward right now, this episode provides context, validation, and grounded perspective.

The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.

Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault

Support the podcast and listen ad-free
Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus and archived episodes plus ad-free listening:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Most cycle breakers know exactly what they don’t want to repeat. But knowing what not to do is very different from knowing how to be an emotionally healthy adult, especially when emotional regulation, boundaries, and healthy relationships were never modeled for you.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why learning emotional health as a cycle breaker is often messy, uncomfortable, and filled with shame. We explore the fear of “becoming your parent,” the pressure to get it right immediately, and the black-and-white thinking that makes normal struggles feel like personal failures.

This episode covers:

-Why most cycle breakers start adulthood without the skills they need

-How growing up with explosive, punishing, or emotionally unavailable parents shapes your relationship with emotions

-Why suppressing feelings, intellectualizing, or trying to be “easy” creates problems as an adult

-The difference between struggling emotionally and being emotionally unsafe

-Why emotional health is built through skill-building, accountability, and repair, not perfection

-How shame keeps cycle breakers stuck and what helps loosen its grip

If you’re deeply invested in becoming an emotionally healthy adult but feel discouraged by your imperfections, this episode is for you.

The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.

Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault

Support the podcast:
Subscribe to You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening for $5/month. Your support helps grow the podcast while giving you access to additional content. Thank you!
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

If this episode resonated, please consider leaving a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find our show.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Self-doubt is one of the most common and paralyzing struggles for cycle breakers. In this episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, Torie explains why chronic self-doubt is not a personality flaw, but a trauma response rooted in long-term gaslighting and emotional invalidation.

You’ll learn how growing up in a toxic family system trains you to distrust your own memories, emotions, and decisions, and why self-doubt often shows up most intensely when you start setting boundaries, becoming more assertive, or trying to live differently than your family expects. Torie breaks down how “self-gaslighting” develops, why it makes adult decision-making feel overwhelming, and how awareness can help you stop treating this voice as truth.

This episode is especially relevant if you:

Were told you were too sensitive, dramatic, or wrong about your experiences

Second-guess your boundaries and feel tempted to backtrack

Freeze when making decisions because you are afraid of choosing wrong

Feel stuck even though you are trying to heal and break the cycle

Most importantly, this conversation reframes self-doubt as a normal byproduct of growing up in a dysfunctional family, not evidence that you are incapable, broken, or failing at healing.

The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.

Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault

You’re Not Crazy: The Private Podcast Feed
Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and full access to archived episodes.
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show.

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

This episode is about nuance. It’s about why labels like narcissistic personality disorder, borderline traits, or “toxic parent” can feel both clarifying and overwhelming, and why healing does not actually depend on getting a definitive diagnosis.

I talk about:

• Why patterns of behavior matter more than labels
• How gaslighting, emotional volatility, shame, and walking on eggshells shape adult children
• Why many cycle breakers grow up in “two realities” with the same parent
• The grief, relief, anger, and desire for connection that can coexist
• How minimizing what you experienced can quietly train you to tolerate harm in other relationships

The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.

Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault

Want access to ad-free and archived episodes of You're Not Crazy?
Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for archived episodes, bonus content, and ad-free listening.
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

From navigating visibility as a therapist talking openly about toxic family systems, to setting boundaries around social media, content creation, and emotional labor, this episode is a grounded, honest look at what it actually takes to do this work sustainably as a cycle breaker.

Torie shares why she’s recommitting to the podcast, simplifying where her energy goes, and being more intentional about how and where she shows up. She also talks candidly about burnout, backlash, self doubt, and what it means to keep choosing growth when you were conditioned to stay small.

This episode covers:

-Personal reflections from a year of growth, visibility, and boundary setting

-The emotional cost of talking publicly about narcissistic and toxic parents

-Why simplifying is a form of healing, not quitting

-Reprioritizing the podcast and stepping back from what no longer fits

-Looking ahead to 2026 with more clarity, intention, and self trust

The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.

Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault

Are you loving the podcast?

Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed to support the show and get access to bonus and archived episodes, plus ad-free versions of all new episodes:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why the holidays feel so heavy when you grew up with a narcissistic, emotionally immature, or unpredictable parent. We explore why perfection is not possible, why black-and-white thinking keeps cycle breakers stuck, and why self-compassion is one of the most regulating tools you can practice during this time of year.

You’ll hear:

Why the holidays are uniquely triggering for adult children of toxic parents

How dissociation and “go go go” mode show up as survival responses

Why there is no perfect decision when family dynamics are complicated

How to notice when you are being harsh with yourself and interrupt that pattern

A personal story about navigating imperfect holidays as a cycle-breaking parent

This is a reminder that breaking the cycle does not require perfection. It requires flexibility, self-compassion, and learning to live in the gray.

If you’re looking for more support over the holidays, the You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed includes bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening.
Join the private feed here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

In this short, grounding episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, we’re talking about how cycle breakers can take care of themselves during the holidays when family dynamics are toxic, overwhelming, or emotionally unsafe.

This is not about pushing through. It’s not about pretending everything is fine. And it’s not about forcing yourself into situations that cost you your nervous system.

You’ll hear practical, compassionate ways to support yourself right now if you’re spiraling, avoiding family, or counting down the days until the holidays are over, including:

How to help your body feel safe when holiday stress activates old trauma responses

Why creating traditions that have nothing to do with your family matters more than you think

Simple self check-ins to protect your energy and emotional capacity

Permission to change your mind about plans as you learn what you can actually handle

How to notice real progress, even if it feels small or imperfect

You deserve tools that help you get through this season without abandoning yourself.

And, if you want more support beyond this episode, here are a few things that can help:

You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed
Get access to all archived episodes plus two bonus episodes every month, ad free.
Join here for $5/month:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Support the show

A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!

Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.

You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

In today’s episode, Torie breaks down why cycle breakers panic-agree to things they don’t want to do, why your body goes into survival mode when you try to set limits, and why allowing yourself to change your mind is a crucial part of healing.

Listen to learn:

Want bonus episodes and an ad-free listening experience? Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help more cycle breakers find our show. Thank you!

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