A Little Help For Our Friends

Interview with Amber Rae: When Staying In A Safe Relationship Hurts You More Than Leaving


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What happens when you look into a stranger's eyes and suddenly realize what's been missing from your marriage all along? In this episode, bestselling author Amber Rae joins us to share her transformative journey from a nine-year relationship that checked all the boxes on paper but lacked true intimacy and connection.

Amber's story challenges our conventional understanding of commitment, revealing how we can unknowingly convince ourselves that relationships are working when essential needs remain unmet. "I didn't know I was pretending," she reflects, describing how she repeatedly tried to fix her marriage through therapy, self-help books, and doubting herself. The wake-up call came unexpectedly when she experienced an electric yet calm connection with a stranger that made her question everything.

We talk about what it's like to question your relationship or feel stuck between staying and leaving.  Amber explores our patterns – whether we tend to leave too quickly or stay too long out of fear or people-pleasing – and provides permission to honor our authentic needs.

Beyond relationship insights, Amber shares her process of writing her new memoir "Lovable," describing how she created a "brave draft" by writing as if no one would read it. This approach to truth-telling mirrors what's needed in our relationships: the courage to see and speak our truths before considering how they'll be received.

Whether you're questioning your current relationship, healing from a past one, or simply curious about authentic connection, this conversation offers both validation and a framework for honest exploration. If you need more support in this journey, join our KulaMind Community for more relationship tools and connection with others walking similar paths. 50% discount off the first month if you sign up now!

Resources:

  • Check out Amber Rae's site and her Instagram @heyamberrae


  • Pre-order her new book "Loveable: One Woman's Path from Good to Free" out August 5th!


Support the show

  • If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.


  • Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.


  • For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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A Little Help For Our FriendsBy Dr. Kibby McMahon

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