Hollywood Is Dead

In this installment we barely watched Puppet Master 4: The Demon. It was terrible. To be honest, most of this episode is just bullshitting about randomness instead of talking about the movie. We had to do this to avoid going insane.

In this installment we watched part 3 of the nonsensical series, Puppet Master. For the third movie in a row the writers of this series have re-written the history of their only overarching human character; Toulon. This movie is basically what would happen if Anne Frank's story involved more puppets and slightly less Nazi's. Fucking boring movie.

In this installment we continue to the sequel to Puppetmaster. However; things turned dim as we quickly realized the production values and acting talent took a quick swan dive for the sequel. This movie was a baffling mess of murder, rambling and sexual confusion that left us hopeful for part 3. Mostly, we were confused why Darkman was the puppet master in this one. Either that or Chevy Chase as the invisible man. Not really sure what happened in this one but we think it involved real dolls. You know, those dolls that Asian guys pay to have sex with.

We watched Puppetmaster and now we can predict the future of puppetry. It's a dead art, turns out. On this cross-over show (Richard from Midnight With Robert Shaw and Phoenix from Loitering In Wonderland) we go through the Puppetmaster movies one at a time. This is part 1 of 11 before we move on to greener pastures. Meaning another terrible series. Send your suggestions to [email protected]

On this episode of The Phoenix West Show, I decided to watch a movie that was recent enough to hold your attention. I watched X-Men: Days Of Future Past. The most confusing title since Speed 2: Cruise Control and Major League: Back To The Minors. It's either one or the other, choose one. Is it the future or the past? We may never know. However, I did watch the movie and surprise, for once I enjoyed it. That didn't stop me from making fun of it. Listen/watch and tell me what you think.

(This is an audio only version of the video show, for video go to youtube.com/liwpodcast) On this episode of The Phoenix West Show, Phoenix breaks down the 2012 movie The ABC's Of Death letter by letter. Awful scene by awful scene. He also curses the name of Ti West because he's a terrible person. Stay tuned for more advances as far as the video/production goes.

(This is an audio only version of the video, for video go to youtube.com/liwpodcast) This time I focus my hate on 2011's You're Next which was actually released in 2013. Which should tell you something. This was was very pointless and slow which made for a recipe for booze.

I'm going to put The Phoenix West show on here for your listening pleasure despite the fact that it is a video show. If you like what you hear go to youtube.com/liwpodcast for more. For episode 1 I watched The Hunger Games: Catchign It was a real treat. These will be shorter in the future. Hopefully. That's not a promise. (Spoiler alert: the episodes do not get shorter.)

It was our Halloween episode so we watched Jason X and now we are confused why cowboys exist in the year 2455. Is your horror movie franchise starting to slip in the rental department? Fuck it! Head to space! That's what Jason X does for some reason. It follows the footsteps of other horror movie franchises Leprechaun and Hellraiser. This movie felt like soft-core porn without the tits. Although there is male nipple play that we found very erotic. Erotic and completely necessary in the middle of an already ridiculous plot.

We watched Timecop and now we have a craving for a guy doing the splits in short shorts. This movie is amazing. It managed to be a movie about JCVD kicking people in the face while not ONLY being a movie about JCVD kicking people in the face. It has an insane plot that they barely touch on. More time is spent explaining the fact that a man wants to become president. We recommend watching Timecop.