I’ve been wrestling off and on with a good deal of chronic pain over the last couple of years. It all stems from a decades old construction injury. And please, before you email me your treatment advice, know that we’re on the case and working it out. But there was a significant setback in the treatment plan that arose this week, and this week also happened to be a high pain week, so Tina will testify, so will Robin, ok actually anyone who has made significant contact with me this week will testify that I have been just an utter joy to be around … not.

There’s also something about chronic pain that wears on your ability to suffer fools and I think this week my tolerance for fools reached an all time low. Actually it’s not so much fools that I can’t handle right now. It’s specifically people and institutions who are looking for something out of me but who actually don’t care about me. Is it just me or is some of this fatigue were all talking about tied up in this feeling that we’re all being asked to care more and more and more about everything in the world, everywhere in the world, at a time when it also feels like the world cares about us less than ever.

Ok, so enough whining. At the end of the day I’m responsible for what’s going on inside of me and how I act and react to everyone around me. Pain might be a reason to be grumpy but the final decision to act that way is on me. Like my football coach used to say, “There are reasons, but no excuses.”

Anyway, whether it be my pain, or the state of the world, or perhaps just the phase of life I’m in at the moment, I find myself not just walking away from those who don’t care but running to and reveling in those who do care. I’ve never been more aware of how, without exception, the best parts of life are all tied up with people who really care. Care about me. Care about themselves. Care about what they do and how they do it. I care, I really do, but I also know I only have so much care to give. There are only so many things I have the capacity to care about, and so I’ve decided, quite consciously, that I want to spend more and more of the time I have left on this planet with other people who care just as much. And as for the rest? Honestly? I don’t care.

So you might look at me from a distance and think, “He’s just one of those left coast artsy, foodie, local independent business, craft made snobs who for fashion sake is willing to pay way too much for a meal or a wheel of cheese or a custom home or a hand made piece of furniture or a cup of coffee.” But in reality, I’m just a guy who wants to glean all the benefits from living with and near people who really care. I’d happily eat out less but pay more for food prepared with care. I’m happy to drive all the way across town just to eat or shop or bank in a place where everyone knows my name. It doesn’t cost more. It costs different. If you haven’t tried it then I would encourage you to. It makes a difference—a really, really big difference—to live in a world where people care. So even if you’re not in grumpy chronic pain, maybe this is the week to stop suffering fools. Stop throwing time and money and emotions at people and places that don’t care. And instead begin your own search for those that do. They’re out there. I promise. And when you find them they’ll bring you joy. Because it’s those people, and only those people, who will help you build yourself a beautiful life.