So after 28 wonderful years together it’s possible that Tina and I might have a long term relationship on our hands. Time will tell, but it’s looking pretty good.I’m not exactly sure when we started getting questions about it, but we’re definitely getting asked more and more these days what the secret to a great marriage is. My first answer is usually peanut butter. I’d say a mutual love of peanut butter is critical. And cheese. Who wants a relationship without cheese? Oh, and friendship. In truth, the art of friendship is the secret. At least it’s our secret. A good friendship can lead to marriage, but marriage does not necessarily lead to friendship. Therefore, it’s way more important to be a friend than a spouse. When people ask me how I feel about Tina my answer is always a friendship answer: I like her.Of course, I love her too. But to be perfectly honest there are plenty of people that I love who I don’t particularly want to spend every waking hour with. You know what I’m talking about. But with Tina I do spend just about every waking hour. We live together. We own a home together. We work together. We own a business together. We wake together. We sleep together. We play together. It works because I don’t just love her. I really, really like her. I like her more than I like anyone. We’re together because we’re each other’s favorite people. That’s not just some sappy platitude. If we weren’t our favorite people we’d be with someone who was. I would say our relationship is what it is because we take our friendship very seriously. In that sense that power of “like” goes way beyond the power of love.Here’s why a friendship is better than a marriage … A friend has their own life, their own autonomy, over which you have no rights. You are invited to be a part of their life—you cannot demand to be a part of it—and therefore you feel the weight of that honor. Everything in friendship is voluntary. Everything is a gift. A thriving friendship requires mutual respect. If you want to keep a friend you must respect them. Not shallow Hallmark greeting card lip-service respect, but tangible, practical respect. You must respect their time. I don’t make my friends wait. I thank them for their efforts. I follow through with my commitments. I show gratitude when they give me their time and energy because I know they don’t have to. Friendship is not ownership. Friendship is not obligation. Friendship is voluntary.Friendships are full of imperfections and absent of pretense because friends accept the imperfect in one another. Friendship is accepting someone’s flaws, not picking at them or nagging them to change as if they’re flaws are standing in the way of your happiness.Friendships can’t be too needy either. Which simply means that despite our flaws and imperfections everyone has to be trying, putting in the work, standing on their own two feet, pulling their own weight, responsible for their own stuff. A great friend is there to help—friendship is all about helping—but a friendship can’t fix you. You’re in charge of fixing you. I’m just here to help and cheer you on.Friendship is reciprocal. Friendship is mutual. Friendship is respectful and honorable. Best of all, friendship is enjoyable.And one last thing … Friendships are not built on lifelong promises. Friendships are built on daily kindnesses.And so, Tina, I will not ask you for 28 more years. I don’t have that right. But I like you so much that I would love to spend today with you. And I have a feeling that if that goes well we’ll spend another day together, and another, and another, and before you know it we just might spend another 28 years building ourselves a beautiful life.