Today’s thought is inspired by the sign on the restroom door at the coffee house Tina and I regularly haunt just down the road. By the way, if you happen to live in the Conejo Valley you too should up your beverage game and get over to 507 (that’s its name) where you’ll not only enjoy the best coffee in town but also meet the proprietors—Amber and Shawn—a delightful young couple who will restore your faith in the future of humanity.

Anyway, 507 hosts a diverse crowd of patrons. Everyone from coffee-clutches of senior citizens to young families to dog walkers to first date meetups to the requisite huddles of university students that form the foundation of any successful coffee house. Diversity is one of the things we love most about 507 and I can only assume it is sensitivity to that diversity which led to the sign on the restroom door. It’s a unisex restroom but on the sign you’ll not only find the universal stick figures of male and female but there’s a third symbol of an extraterrestrial almond eyed alien, just in case it wasn’t already clear that this restroom is available to anyone. But my favorite bit of the sign is what’s written beneath all three images. It says, “WHATEVER. Just wash your hands.” It’s perfect. Male, female, or something wildly other … whatever … just wash your hands.

And as I stood there amused by this silly sign it dawned on me that it pretty much sums up what I have come to hold as most sacred in my life: It doesn’t matter to me who or what you are, just be kind, be thoughtful, and do the right thing.

There was a time when I believed you and I would only truly be friends if we shared similar philosophical, spiritual or political beliefs. There was a time when I believed our belief systems, our politics, and the power of our opinions were the most important part of how we impact the world. Thankfully, real life has a way of confounding abstract ideologies. In the real world I’ve found myself time and time again deeply enjoying the company of people whom I know hold radically different views from my own, but clearly at the heart of who they are is a fundamentally decent person. These days that’s all I want and all I need. I’ve also met countless folks whose worldviews more closely align with my own but with whom I don’t want to be in the same room.

None of this is to stay I don’t have opinions or that they don’t matter. What I’m saying is I don’t care if you’re red or blue or purple. I don’t care if you’re male or female or non-binary or an extraterrestrial. None of these things will destroy or save our world. But kindness can. Thoughtfulness can. No ideology has ever or will ever save the world. What will determine whether the human race has a tomorrow is simply a question of how many of us will choose to be good to each other today. Kindness, honesty, fundamental decency, or the lack thereof, these are the forces which move the world forward or back.

Our opinions are interesting. Our behavior toward one another is essential.

So I’m back in front of the restroom door. Male, female, red, blue, atheist, agnostic, true believer, gay, straight, black, white, or anything and everything in between …whatever. Just be kind. Just be thoughtful. Just wash your hands. And then, get back to building yourself a beautiful life.