It shouldn’t really surprise us that the key to controlling the climate in a home is not power but rather precision. It’s not about the whole house. It’s never about the whole house. It’s about the room we’re in. It’s not about the big things. It’s about the small things.

It shouldn’t surprise us but of course it does, because we’ve all been taught—especially men—that the more powerful a thing is the more it can effect change. I suppose in some areas of life that may be true but it’s rarely, if ever, true at home. At home it’s not about the big things. It’s always about the small things. At home it’s never about power, it’s always and only about precision.

So to all the fathers out there … first, let me wish you a very happy Father’s Day. Then, permit me to remind and encourage you that setting the climate for those you love is not about the size of the system. All anyone in your family really truly cares about is the temperature of the room. They care about whether you show up in the room. They care about how you show up in the room. They care about whether the air around you is always cold because you are distant and inaccessible, or whether it’s always hot with your anger. They care about whether they can trust that your presence brings comfort and relief.

It’s never about the house. It’s always about the room. Because people don’t live in houses. We live in rooms. Small spaces. A house is not one massive thing. It is tens of thousands of small, seemingly inconsequential things, fit together, piece by piece, to build something that is greater than the sum of its parts.

There is a great deal of repetition in building. We don’t pound one nail. We pound ten thousand nails. Ten thousand banal, seemingly inconsequential steps for which there will be no great honors and no applause. But do you know what the great challenge of building is? To care about that nail. And do you know what the definition of true craftsmanship is? To care about that nail and every other nail for ten thousand times more. Craftsmanship is nothing more than caring deeply about the little things.

And so once again we are reminded that it’s the little things that count the most.
Showing up for the small stuff again and again and again. Not worrying about the power of the system but your power to change the temperature in the room where real life happens. Caring about each nail, each piece, piece by piece by piece. That, my fellow fathers, is how you build a great house. That is how you build a great home. And in my opinion, that is how you build yourself a beautiful life.